Marriage and Roleplaying

[Jhoanna]

me and silke have been together for almost a year now *smiles* I donno but... maybe its time for a wedding soon... *hopes* but dont tell him... or something... o_O

( I love him )

[_________Crazynotion]

I would never marry IC. Simple reason: commitment. For a marriage to work there has to be commitment from each party - long term commitment.

While I'm certainly not afraid of commitment IRL, I am loathe to commit to something that is going to demand I spend time in AO when my RL may well have other things coming up. For me, it's a matter of play time - I don't get much.

I'm more than willing to bet that this is a real issue with others as well. Most of us don't live in AO 100% of the time, and there comes a point where anyone involved in any relationship (friends, lovers, partners, long-standing enemies) have to realise that the other player may not be able to meet their end of the bargain all of the time.

RL marriages (and relationships) have the key advantage that people don't log out of RL.

And like RL marriages, I'm willing to bet that too many people rush into things without thinking them through carefully.

* * *

Besides, I'm a 'trox. Who would want to marry a 'trox?

[Strayduck]

[quote["me and silke have been together for almost a year now *smiles* I donno but... maybe its time for a wedding soon... *hopes* but dont tell him... or something... o_O

( I love him )"[/quote]

I hope u were kidding, you love some1 u have never met before? Why? Because hes level 200? rofl, its a game, take it as one, its not a dating agency for people who aint gettin any in real life.

[Ditzie]

Since today marks Nevver and Ditzie’s two-month anniversary, I thought I’d throw in my OOC opinion on in-game romance and weddings.

I’ve been playing on-line games for over 3 years now, and this is the first time one of my characters has been married. I didn’t go into this to make a statement, or cyber with a stranger, or believe that I have found the r/l love of my life. About four months ago my character met a female character, wonderfully role-played, who personified tongue-in-cheek wit, charm, tenderness and generosity. What began as friendship and hunting partners grew into a bond that we both wanted to expand upon. Almost from the first date, we’ve put up with idiotic OOC accusations of us both being guys, IC and OOC derisive comments about the lesbians getting married, childish congratulations about coming out of the closet, not to mention the vicious, mean-spirited attack that drove Nevver from these boards.

While I get furious at attacks on Nev, if I get flamed here, I’ll give a big ol’ yawn, and continue to play my character the way I choose to, not how someone else expects me to.

/me takes a breath

Anyway, I wanted to respond to Crazynotions comments about commitment, because it’s been an issue I’ve dealt with for four months.

I don’t live in AO, I have an active r/l, but enjoy every chance I get to play. I’ve never received any pressure to be on-line more, and have never put pressure on Nevver to play later. I try to make the most out of the little time I get to spend playing, and “Yes”, if Nevver and I are on at the same time, it’s a pretty safe bet that we’re doing something together, whether that be role-playing our romance, or missioning, or hunting, or dealing with Org business.

I think it comes down to having realistic expectations of your partner, or more importantly, of your partners player. Maybe that sounds over-simplistic, but it works for me.

That’s all I can think of right now, so………..go ahead and flame me, praise me, call me a guy, whatever…….

Oh!! And if you stop by today Nev, HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!!!!!!

[__________RuthieChan]

Cazza, it sounds like Jhoanna was *roleplaying* her character when she made that comment. This is the Role-Playing section after all. Well, I hope she was roleplaying.

There are a lot of guys who RP female characters because playing guys gets boring. But on the other hand, how many female gamers do you know out there? According to my hubby and friends, I'm a weirdo.

Crazynotion is right about the commitment, and so is Tamiyana. It takes a level of RPing commitment that most people don't want to take the time to do. I've played RPGs where I am totally into it, it's almost like a second life, but BOOM! Players I was involved with didn't feel the same, and that sucks. Yeah, it's a game, but when you put a lot of effort into something and someone else totally ruins everything, it hurts.

[Stormrazer]

Shizara, from your past posts, and having met you in person, I have to say once more that you are an utter hypocrit. Has that insane Medusa-worshipping nazi-feminist cult of yours fallen apart yet?

At any rate...

Fact is, part of the reasons these marraiges never quite last has nothing to do with the sex. Hell, if the sex was bad, these people wouldn't have considered marrying in the first place, right?

Sex in Rubi-Ka society is at a strange state presently... It's both highly valued, and at the same time treated cheaply. As if some damned party favor. For the human race, there's a very simple reason for sex...

It's meant to strengthen an existing bond. In it's own way, it even creates a bond. At least, initially...

Again, treated as cheaply as it is, it loses that power quickly. People screw around at the drop of a hat with whoever's mildly appealing at the time. The result of this is that they create a bond with any number of individuals and break it until sex for them holds no other purpose but an orgasm or two. A quick fix, like a drug, and any drug overused loses it's potency to developed resistance, which usually leads to the parties seeking greater 'excitement' be this from infidelity or any number of perversions.

So, before I digress further, the issue is probably not in any way, shape, or form bad-sex-related, though maybe the people involved would like to see it that way.

I'm of the belief that many people fear commitment, because they're told to by the unwashed masses and their 'friends', and end marraiges, because they were stupid enough to believe all that tripe about marraige being an oppressive hell, that again their 'friends' told them. Those rumors, I think simply got started by joking about it too much. Eventually, repeated enough, the joke became less funny and instead internalized as publically accepted sage advice. So once in a committed relationship, they're immediately pressured subtly or clearly, to get out of it and be 'free'. Freedom being, alone and back on your way to collecting every STD that has yet to be identified by Omni-Med.

Other marraiges end because one or the other party lacks self-respect, or respect for their partner. It's hard to love someone when you don't even care about yourself, if not impossible. If you don't care about yourself, then you're not going to protect your own integrity and character, and those are key to laughing in the face of temptation. Without a spine, you'll cave under the slightest pressure, be it from your genitalia, your friends, or the person who'd seduce you, and all you'll ultimately get out of it is a busload of emotional torment, which will do nothing for your already crippled self-esteem.

Vicious cycle, that.

Then, of course, there are the usual pathetic attention-seekers who just want an excuse to be seen. Or perhaps to hold a bachelor/bachelorette party. Narcissists, who are simply incapable of caring about anyone but themselves.

*glances at a clock* Geez, look at the time. Suit yourselves, ye unwashed masses, you'll each pay for your own bad judgement.

Meanwhile, I need to get some sleep if I intend to hammer out the details of my own upcoming nuptials...

I'm a lucky lucky guy, shame I haven't time to brag about her. Tomorrow, maybe.

[Metalynx]

For the lvoe of God..you people are still posting non this stupid thing?? :P I havent checked the thread for weeks and here it is..still being posted. 3 pages worth??

Wow folks....realize I made this post as a joke of sorts...

I cant belive someones still posting here....

[_____________Sejanus]

Lots of good comments. Bottom line, respect those you involve yourself with.

(OOC: As I believe Thyme and others have put better in a posts elsewhere...There are people on the other side of the keyboard, show them the respect you would expect.)

[Gridfan]

Isn't it ironic. Now Metlynx is getting married too. To Gridbot.

*laughs*

(OOC. *laughs as well*)

[__________RuthieChan]

Yep, it's still here.
And apparently, it's a rather serious joke. :P
*laughs*