Don't worry , you're a clanner, those fealings of inadequacy are perfectley normal. They will pass with your death.
It is only our insecurity that makes us competitive and we search for security in other peoples recognition. We will not stop being who we really are, just because we are "better" then others.
Why do you think so many Fish & Game officers and park rangers are wearing cammies and toting m-16's? It ain't cause bambi's gone gorilla.(quote given in referance to current state of poaching in the US)