the most abundant things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity

[_____________Kasimir]

lol..and yes I'm serious

[Karanya]

This guy was an alt of another character I had met over in Borealis who had mumbled about not having a yalm in front of myself and my brother, and had the audacity to ask for credits to buy one. So we put on our yalms and flew in circles around his head for a few minutes. It was clear this guy was the alt of that person as their names were very similar. I received the following tells from him while I was in a mission.

fixer: hey will u take me on a gamma run?
me: uh.
fixer: well will u?
/tell helpbot whois fixer
helpbot: fixer is male opifex fixer, level 11, clan.
me: aren't you a bit low level for that?
fixer: my main survived it at level 15
/ignore fixer

Oh yes, I want to take a level 11 fixer alt of a person who begged me for credits to buy a yalm, on a gamma run. Sounds reeeeallll fun.

Also, the board beggars are back. Do 'em one favor and they come back for more and more. This is what I get for breaking my word to no longer do favors for fixers not on my very short list.

--K

[_____________Kasimir]

/me loves Karanya for tellin it like it is :P

[hashy]

another one happened today...

lvl 40 fixer dude: smg buff plz
[i cast smg exp]
dude: i have that one
[i cast minor suppressor]
dude: cool thanks

[Karanya]

Observed at NL grid:

level 3 soldier shouts: who wants to help me level by healing me?

A while later he sent me a tell asking what level restriction on the lowest NCU buff was. I told him level 200.

--K

[Solstyce]

For the types of people described in this thread, I have found the most "British," of buffs. It doesn't seem to be very effective as I often see little effect, but it is in fact, perfect for these situations.

Intelligence Boost.

-Sol


Edit: Note: I say British because the British are known for being able to insult an offending party without the offending party realizing it. Figured that needed to be cleared up.

[Slyyk]

My 2 favorite Oxygen Thief stories are as follows:

First is the guy who saw me in a store and about 20 minutes later sent me a tell asking for creds. I told him "Sure, meet me in Mort where I'm currently doing a mission".

About a half hour later I get a tell saying that he was trying to get there but had been killed twice already. I did a /tell helpbot nameofoxygenthief and he was like level 12 or so. I figured it had to be someones alt fooling around because everyone I know, knows I hate beggars with a passion.

Well, after talking to the guy a couple minutes I realize he really is a new player. So I explain to him I was only kidding and that there is no way he'll ever make it to where I'm at. He said he was sorry for bothering me and (hopefully) went back to where he started from.

The second and most favorite is the level 5 guy that asked for 10k to buy nanos and armor. This was shortly after the tradeskill section was added to shops. I told him to jump off the top railing 3 times and I would give it to him. He went up and wasn't able to clear the railing so I gave him a runbuff. Off he goes, 1, 2, and on the 3rd jump proceeds to die messily on the floor. I never heard from him again.

[Downsizr]

With all that is listed here, I thing that you're not paying enough attention to your fellow players. The next time you bump into a jerk, be sure to publicize zone-width in /ooc his demands.

At least it will bring joy and hapiness all around you.

Take care.

[kaghelion]

Originally posted by Achmed20

i realy should think about moving my Instanious encoding into a different quickbar then my reckless digit.
it happens pretty often during teh last time that i hit teh wrong button and grid my whoel team out. only problem is that i was the only one who wanted to leave :/

I removed RD from my quick bar just to avoid doing an RD when I wanted to get that doc out or something.
I only have IE on the quickbar beacuse if I for some reason need to grid out solo then I probably have the time to find RD or GP in the nano list.

Besides I have yet to fumble an IE.

[____________Zedtrion]

personA on ot ooc: Can everyone in trade give me 10k? I need to get a yalm bad to get into milky way!

lol

--------------------

personB on team chat(level 21):
guys look at this! Yalmaha XL 28123! Earned the cash hard with my high level alts.
team: nice., great etc
---- 4 minutes later ----
me: guys, found a mission in NW mines... good?
personB: Where on earth if NW mines? My 182 MA's never been there. is it close in trade?

---------------------------------

personC: hey zed, can i join CCI?
me: where r u?
personC: uh... a big city.. near a lot of people
me: lemme see a reference of you
personC reference?
me: hit f1, then g, then cntrl3, and drop the ref into the char box
personC "Me "PersonC" Nubi" (level 153 agent)
me: did you come from clan?
personC No.. never had a clan...
me: you new to AO or somthing?
personC yea... started today
me :and you have a 153 agent?
personC Yea... don't you just love ebay? this dude costed me 500 dollars. this guy is uber... so can i join your clan?
me: great.
/ignore

---------------

ebay.... *sigh*

[Skeena-]

LOL! These are great. And, I love the title of this thread, hashy. With respect to beggars, I am usually quite rude and insensitive, if I am not outright ignoring them. However, I do like to play with their heads on occasion:

Beggar: can u spar sum credz plz?
Skeena: I love you, Beggar.
Beggar: lol i ned about 25k
Skeena: Beggar, I cherish each moment we have together. You really put the lime in my cocounut.
Beggar: ...
Skeena: Beggar, you complete me. Will you do me the honour of being my b***h?
*Beggar runs away*

[_______O'Rourke]

On the topic of begging, the thing I find the most disturbing is that I'm constantly approached by scantily-clad female chars offering to dance for tips. The only thing more unsettling about the fact that people offer this "service" is that there must be a market for it given the number of times I've been approached. Yuck.

[___________Evilspork]

Originally posted by Zedtrion
me :and you have a 153 agent?
personC Yea... don't you just love ebay? this dude costed me 500 dollars. this guy is uber... so can i join your clan?
me: great.

One man's treasure is another man's n00b.

[__________Specialone]

lol these are funny - have to add my share

outside NLC
player(lvl 7 something): 250ncu buff plz
me: 250? lol
player: +250ncu?
me: yes
playerlz need ncu
me: you're level is too low
player:do you have ncubuff?
me:yes
playerlz i pay need ncu
me: ohhh alright but I don't want money
player: i dont have many things
me: get me an ice cream cone and I give you 250 ncu
player: ice cream? where is ice cream
me: just run south of here, can't miss it
player: south?
me: yes, the next zone has ice cream
player: ok you wait here 4me?
me: of course

in old athen, near the west gate:

player: how do i get to west athen
me: go west
player: which way to west athen?
me: west, out the gate
player: but where is it?
me: WEST

[_______________Vyker]

Found a new way to get the beggers riled up.

Had the usual tell...

Him: Can U plzzzzzzz gimme crds!!!! I n3d new armor.
Me: If you can rephrase that using a complete and gramtically correct sentance with proper words maybe.
Him: ......

[locomdenom]

Yy (we miss you!) has a great beggar macro.

%m's Begging Policy:
Hello %t, to be reading this you've undoubtedly asked for a money. While I do get satisfaction from helping others, I am not Phillip Ross, Henry Radiman or any of the vast number of rich celebrities who frequent the Lush Hills Resorts. I am a fixer, and I have earned almost every coin I own.
As such, I have earned the right to do with my money as I please. I am indebted to no man, by any means besides the comradarie of battle. Those that have fough along side me, know and understand that we all need personal space, and privacy.
We have gained pride in our accomplishments as a team, a untied front, and individually. As such, we only ask eachother for things when we ourselves cannot obtain, or when it is critical to the continued survival of ourselves, or the clans.
Aye, but I digress...
As I can see, you have not learned self reliance, here are some pointers and tips.
1. Find a mission term, set the slider to 0%, Bad | Order | Money. Select an 'Identify Item Mission' While the money may be slow, you will be additionally rewarded by your triumphancy in battle.
2. When you have earned enough money for a QL3-ish (8k) Bio-communicator (sold in basic tools terminals), go to a back yard and kill every leet you can. Some drop gems, some drop pelts. Use the bio-communicator on the pelt, to make plasma. These will sell for good and 'safe' money.
On that note, I bid you good day, and wish you good luck with your new found skills. With exersize, perserverance, and a little patience, you will understand not only the value of money, but of the significance of learning to provide for yourself. I hope I have helped you on your journey.
Thank you, and have a nice day.
- The management.

My own is a little less nice.

/say Well, %t, you know they say that beggars can't be choosers.
/delay 2000
/say Unfortunately for you, %t, I'm not a beggar and can therefore be a chooser.
/delay 1000
/say And I choose to tell you to piss off, no credits here.
/flip
/delay 3000
/laugh-s
/tell %t Sucker.

Oxygen thiefs... Hmm.

I've gotten plenty of mis-placed buff requests. My favorite is "WTF do u mean fxers dont hav wrnagles! i got 1 frm a fixer ystrday!"

Dorfone's Magical Puff Of Smoke is a good way to deal with them too.

[Bima]

Originally posted by eahii
the best is when a high level fixer casts team grid phreak though. i was in a mission with one, and afterward he's like "now i'll do my job and get us out." after watching him wave his hands around for about 15 seconds, i get the picture and cast instantaneous e....

I can't remember what class it was that was doing a long grid nano, might have even been a fixer. I got impatient and did't comment when I IE'd. As I headed for the grid exit, the original person commented that his recent investment in nano init made a huge difference even though he wasn't anywhere near max. And I blissfully kept silent still.

[Elbo]

Originally posted by Slyyk

The second and most favorite is the level 5 guy that asked for 10k to buy nanos and armor. This was shortly after the tradeskill section was added to shops. I told him to jump off the top railing 3 times and I would give it to him. He went up and wasn't able to clear the railing so I gave him a runbuff. Off he goes, 1, 2, and on the 3rd jump proceeds to die messily on the floor. I never heard from him again.

Damn thats some humor :-) I got to roll myself a fixer badly now.

[_________Crepuscular]

LMAO....Thanks guys..now I have some ways to get rid of those pesky beggers.

[Downsizr]

Originally posted by O'Rourke
On the topic of begging, the thing I find the most disturbing is that I'm constantly approached by scantily-clad female chars offering to dance for tips. The only thing more unsettling about the fact that people offer this "service" is that there must be a market for it given the number of times I've been approached. Yuck.

OMG sweet memories poping in here....
When I was mainly playing Tiberi (fat bald black bureaucrat with some kind of cross-eyes) I started a collection of tatoos. I had some good times dancing in whithe thong, my not-so-muscular body tatooed on both arms and back.
Damn, seing that belly dancing like a huge jelly blob was an awesome sight. But I disgress...
I saw a pack of blonde baby girls dancing for the noobies in front of FT, and decided to compete with them for crowd's attention. I was of course pretty successful at it. The beauty of the story is that the girlies were part of a guild and ended up giving me 600K to come and dance for one of their sister.
Damn being a go-go dancer neither was so good.

Now back to the topic...

Two days ago :
Me: (auctioning stuff)
Noob: How much for that Senpai Coat
Me: (giving a fair price)
Noob: WTF !! For just a coat ??
Me: See, in fact it's a back armor that stacks with your chest armor and all. Plus it's mission loot only and thus rare enough.
Me: I'll also add that it has a very cool grining face on it that it was nether used, so the fabric is still in very good shape.
Noob:...
Noob: I give u 10k for it
Me:...
Me: OK then
Noob: Pffff, that's expensive still, where r u ?
Me: In the middle of Borg factory in Mort enjoying the dual sun sets, hurry up.
Noob: What's Mort ?
Me: Take the grid and ask your way it's quite easy. Since you're a nice guy I'll throw in a second coat for the same price.
Noob: omw

At this point I lost any interest in the future death of the punk and lived happily ever after.