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Thread: ChitChat Magazine

  1. #1

    ChitChat Magazine

    Shadyn facing arrest

    Earlier today, one of our contacts within Omni-Pol relayed us the message that Chaupin is on the hunt for one of his own rank, named Shadyn, for ignoring orders as well as instigating mutiny within Omni-Pol.

    There even seems to be a hanging appointment already with Encyros of Omni-Reform to "fix" the situation of Shadyn, which we can only interpret as being a total reformation of what little brains an omni-pol has.

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  2. #2
    I have to see the day that Shadyn becomes a traitor himself too...and in that case I welcome him with open arms.

  3. #3
    Hehehe... Well I see this is no more accurate than it was before. I am on Rimor and even I know that Chaupin is clanner now. He left Omni-Pol a long time ago.
    Stanimir Borgeski (203/30/48) - General in Clan Stronghold

  4. #4

    Post ChitChat Magazine Edition #002

    Eye of the beholder!
    by miss Demeanor

    They say beauty's in the eye of the beholder, but does this mean you can't augment it?

    Agrestus seems to think you can, as reports have said that he likes to frequently take beauty-sleeps during the day, to keep a youthly complexion going.

    And here you thought neutrals did nothing all day long... glad we proved otherwise!

    Sponsor message: SpudMud facial cream, THE only cream that keeps you looking a decade younger!

  5. #5

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #003

    Help wanted!
    by Ty P. Writer

    It seems that even omni-pol these days has grown a sense of humor! That is, atleast Phatfix has...

    Recently he's been trying to recruit people from all sides to "smear pie all over the doorsteps of omni-pol" as a late easter joke towards his colleagues. He replied his intentions by saying "I'd like to see their faces when there is an invasion of ants in their apartments" and "I even have a suitable reward for everyone that would help".

    Whether this is a joke gone too far, or just a silly prank, not up to us to decide. Although i'm sure omni-pol will want to watch their step(s) for the next few days, not to mention their colleague, Phatfix!

    Sponsor message: Leet pie: the best of leets and pies, combined!

  6. #6

    Post ChitChat Magazine Edition #004

    Romeo & Julia
    by Ty P. Writer

    Spring arrived, love is in the air, and two people in particular will have known about that for sure! Who you might wonder now?

    Well, it's none other than Lawpuppy - one of Gunfytr's hench...Atroxes - and Playboyfixer - who most likely needs no introduction.

    Now in itself people fall in love all the time and it would take us all our time to list it up, but this is different. Different? Yes, as the title hints towards it too, while Playboyfixer is a clanner Lawpuppy is an omni-citizen. More than that though... Lawpuppy's known (like the rest of pathfinders) to relentlessly hunt playboyfixer for the hefty arrestation reward over his head.

    So it shows thus, that even the most impossible of situations can end up growing into a beautiful love story.

    Will Playboyfixer and Lawpuppy make a good couple? Will they somehow have children? Is love really stronger than a big boost to your bank account? Find it out in follow-ups on this event!

    Sponsor message: Virgin Chocolates: so delicious, it's like you're eating chocolate for the first time!

  7. #7

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #005

    Talkin' bout the birds and the bees
    by Miss. Demeanour

    Springtime sure is coming it seems... While earlier this week a fellow reporter noted out that Playboyfixer and Lawpuppy are in an inter-faction relation, no less between the 2 warring factions... It seems there's love all over Rubi-Ka.

    Just recenty we found out ourselves that none other than Leileena (Neutral) is having an eye on a certain solitus named Wingger, while also dating both notorious clanner Playboyfixer, and Tuxciedo, an omni. On top of that, she's even busy eyeing some unknown neutral Atrox she seems to fancy alot. How we know all this? Because she said so herself in a public radiochannel earlier! While telling her romantic life story, she even noted out "Playboyfixer's never gonna find out bout me and Tuxciedo, after all, if a trox is smarter than him, then my my... but shush!"

    Indeed loyal readers, it seems neutralism has more benefits than just being able to enter both clan and omni cities, it even allows you to romance half the citizens on both sides! Now it's only to wonder what Lawpuppy will think about his/her boytoy fooling around with Leileena...

    Will Lawpuppy take revenge on Playboyfixer for his infidelity? Will he/She take it out on Leileena instead? How many more lovers will leileena reveal to be having? Read it all in upcoming ChitChat magazines!

    Sponsor message: Roman-TICK: the tick-extract that enhances the romantic feelings of any candlelight dinner!

  8. #8
    Oh... really? *laughter*

    Flying like a leaf on the wind.

  9. #9

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #006

    Love equals Trouble
    by Ty P. Writer

    Well loyal readers! it seems like the birds and the bees surrounding Playboyfixer can take a crash course too, as we just intercepted the note that Playboyfixer used to have a serious relation with Omni employee Cratertina, yet nowadays said omni waves around a restraining order for Playboyfixer noting that he can't come within 10 feet of her.

    This must surely be a hard blow towards Playboyfixer to lose one of his loves, so shortly after finding out Leileena is fooling around with half of Rome and Newland too behind his back, as well as having a dubious relationship with an omni Pathfinder, the same grouping that hunts him down all the time.

    On a positive note though, it seems that Cratertina and Gunfytr seem to have strong feelings for one another, and even share similar intrests, among which hating the need for sleep.

    Will Playboyfixer break down under all the love problems? Will Leileena, Lawpuppy and maybe other lovers show up with restraining orders too? How many other omnis has Playboyfixer been dating? See it all in future News Reports!

    Sponsor message: Desperation: a new scent to drive the ladies wild!

  10. #10

    Post ChitChat Magazine Edition #006

    Strange encounters of the first kind...
    By Dannir "Fenken" Strain

    Greetings my little mind-trainers! Nice to see the magazine selling in such large quantities!

    Fresh news from omni-land... seems like Keanne's found love, with none other than the scorned, lovelorn, restraining order-enhanced clan fixer Playboyfixer...

    Earlier today you could watch them publicly make a huge display about some disturbing facts like Keanne loving to be called a cheater by her lovebird, as well as getting Playboyfixer all flushed and confused. To say we thought someone with his history in love would be impervious to such things...
    Not in the least on top of that all, they've even planned multiple candlelight dinners, and some other things our young readers may not hear about!

    Well there you have it my dear readers and readerettes, love's all around, be it in peculiar variations... Wonder what Silverstone would say bout Playboyfixer fooling around with his enemies though!

    Sponsor message: Desperation: a new scent to drive the ladies wild!

    (( ps: thanks lone for posting the previous msgs for me ;D ))
    Last edited by playboyfixer; Apr 28th, 2011 at 18:23:10. Reason: ps msg
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  11. #11
    Simon would probably say something like "hurr".

  12. #12
    (( forgot to mention that any ChitChat magazine posted by me IS NOT posted ICly by me, but by some "anynymous ChitChat bot" ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  13. #13

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #007

    Bombs away!
    By Miss Demeanor

    Grave news for Omni-Tek! Seems like a band of Neutral terrorists have planted bombs in every major city of Omni-Tek here in Rubi-Ka, but worst of all is, that all those bombs are placed in locations where loads of citizens group up or pass by on a daily base!

    The terrorists made their demands saying "We want omni-tek off the planet, and that they repaint all the buildings in Borealis before leaving. You have 1 week type to comply with our demands or BOOM".

    And now you might say "what was omni-pol doing?". Well! Apparently they were having super-fun-happy slides with small boats through Omni-Ent's sewer system, while they kept mass-flushing the toilets in the barracks!

    Read on more as we keep you updated on this grave event! And don't worry loyal readers, if the omni cities are blown away, we'll still be there with a small news-stand to keep you updated on the daily news!

    Sponsor Message: Stink-Away: the spray that can even make a clanner smell nice!
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  14. #14
    Quote Originally Posted by playboyfixer View Post
    Neutrals have too much dignity to spend such time in Omni 1 sewers.
    Last edited by boltgun; Apr 29th, 2011 at 22:39:52.
    Server first !!! Neutral Solitus Male Soldier named Boltgun to wear a short with pink spots on RK1 !!!
    N E U T R A L I Z E R S

  15. #15

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #008

    Omni-Pol Protects!
    By O. M. Nylover

    As the title says loyal readers, Omni-Pol protects! They have always been a beacon of light in these dark days of war, and never cease to valiantly help those in need, as well as protect citizens all over the world and hold order where needed!

    Earlier today even, we as an omni-pol giving warm greetings to clanners of a dubious standing, and even hoping they have a nice day and feel safe!
    Surely that shows how valiant Omni-Tek treats everyone, no matter what their faction might be. Borealis can only be overjoyed that they are now part of Omni-Tek's grand designs.

    I am sure of it that if Omni-Pol keeps being a prime example of omni-tek's wish for everyone's wellbeing, that the Clans will see no better choice than to return under Omni's caring wings!

    Sponsor message: Protect your friends, join omni-pol!
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  16. #16

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #009

    Recipe for disaster!
    By Ty P. Writer

    Most of you probably remember Lawpuppy, the Omni-Tek Atrox under order of Gunfytr and his Pathfinders, having a relationship with Playboyfixer...

    Well, there seems to be more going on with Lawpuppy, and more especially with his boss, Gunfytr!
    Recently Gunfytr sent Lawpuppy to "exile" in sector 10, a rough alien zone the Unicorns struggle to keep, to repent over his aggressive outbursts. But those knowing Gunfytr, know that he himself loves acts of violence, so it seems somewhat weird to see him banish his own troops for such acts. Or is it........

    You see, while snooping around a bit around sector 10, it seems Gunfytr had his reasons to send Lawpuppy there, this being his way of trying to hide a secret relationship he has with Lawpuppy (and Lawpuppy most surely abusing his boss's love for him to climb up in rank). My own eyes saw them do acts that implicit more than just military saluting, and more intimate than trading goods.

    Wonder how the other soldiers of Pathfinders will take this news seeing one of their own abuse their boss's warmheartedness to climb in ranks, not to mention what other Pathfinders with a boon for Gunfytr might do to Lawpuppy to take out the competition!

    Want to find out how this recipe for disaster cooks out? Keep reading ChitChat magazines!

    Sponsor message: Odor-stop: the ONLY spray that eliminates your lover's scents from your jackets!

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    Last edited by playboyfixer; May 17th, 2011 at 21:53:31. Reason: ooc disclaimer added
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by playboyfixer View Post

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    ((And its a very VERY good thing that I remember this, too.))
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  18. #18

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #010

    Don't drop the .....!
    by Ty P. Writer

    Thanks to a very skilled agent infiltrating in omni-tek barracks, Clan scientists have been researching a rectangular item the omnis seem to call "soap", and have come to astonishing conclusions.
    After multiple tests, both chemical, airborne, ballistic and explosive, they have discovered that the object referred to by omni-tek as "soap", is nothing more than an ordinary stone brick, covered in moss!

    Even as you read this intriguing newsflash, the diligent scientists are trying to figure out why omni-tek employees think they get clean washing themselves with moss-covered bricks...

    Will omni-tek learn the differences between building materials and washing materials? Is the moss natural, or added on the brick by omni-tek? What happens when an omni drops the soap on their toes? Read it all in upcoming chitchat magazines!

    Sponsor message: Bubble-Glo: The natural-resource soap that glows in the dark!
    (disclaimer: frequent use may cause skin burns, loss of teeth and hair, nausea, vomiting, blindness, sweaty feet, chronic coughing up of blood, nosebleeds and webbed hands)

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  19. #19

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #011

    Happy days are here again!
    by Miss Demeanor

    Believe it or not, but it's finally happening!

    Just moments ago we heard from none other than Omni-Tek Employee Termin Zawar that Omni-Tek is making preparations to depart from Rubi-Ka.

    He stated that Omni-Tek acknowledges taking over Borealis on false grounds was a bad move to do, and even Zora Tarkhon himself has been feeling bad about the whole dilemma.
    Insider sources close to Tarkhon claim that in all the sorrow he hasn't even worn his pink tutu (cfr. common knowledge) in over a year, nor has he been playing pin the leet-tail on the Unicorn either.

    Zawar said he will be among one of the first to leave this planet, as he is already fully busy packing his belongings, and others will soon follow.

    So you see my dear Neutrals and Clanners, sometimes wishing for something to happen can make it come true!

    Sponsor message: dirt-awai: removes even the dirtiest stains!

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  20. #20
    This only goes to prove the only comments I can make about this so called publication. Ridiculous, ludicrous, and absurd. I will not go so far as to say slanderous and libelous, simply because your articles are so fictitious, they can only be taken as comic relief.

    Oh and for the record, our CEO's name is Tarkhan Zora. You couldn't even get that simple fact right.
    Last edited by Termin Zawar; Aug 4th, 2011 at 23:57:50.
    Termin Zawar
    "we are here to serve"

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