Shattered Dreams

[Falikos]

(( OOC Note:
This is the veeery beginning of Fali's story back in 2002. This will be nearly entirely based on things that happened to her through interactions with others in-game, although there will be secrets that she keeps for herself of course. Many thanks to those that have been part of her story, and thanks to the advanced screening crew for my first few sections. Couldn't do it without ya.
-Fali ))




Burn Baby Burn


A soft billow of down blankets lay gently around me, each point where it contacts sending a raw throb of pain waving through me. I was burned, and badly. Ever brushed a tad too close to an open flame, the heat searing a small patch on your finger or wrist, forming a scaled and remarkably painful annoyance? Imagine for a moment instead of only an inch being bothered by such a burn, that only an inch here and there was spared it. I was laying in half consciousness wondering how to explain the very sensations to the shadow of a man that had been silently rotating my bandages for days. Between each trill of nausea creeping at the back of my throat I tried to force my mouth to form anything; a protest, one of a thousand questions… a thank you.

They gray tone of his skin reflected the low florescent light in the room, giving him an ethereal glow that was altogether unsettling. My savior seemed kind enough, but to look at him gave me the creeps. He moved smoothly, with deliberate movements his fingers worked at the bandages. Removing the spent cloth, smoothing on an antiseptic smelling gel that felt like it was regularly kept in a freezer, followed with a new bandage; rinse, repeat. He bent low over me, deliberately avoiding my tired gaze, the white platinum of his unruly hair just missing my face as he made adjustment to the monitor strapped awkwardly to my chest. A nod as he read over the display shook a faint woodsy smell from him that hovered in the air; it wasn’t familiar to me at all. Who was this stranger?

He was moving a new stack of bandages near me when a beeping on his wrist sounded hollowly in otherwise empty room. He turned his hand over glancing down at the small screen. My vision was too blurred to make out the glow of the LCD, but he didn’t look happy about it and it frightened me, reminding me of how vulnerable I was. Tossing the used bandages in a sack he turned a dial on the monitor before striding gracefully to the door. I could hear him grunt, and then speak with hushed tones before the pain and medication brought me back into the darkness.

[Nulion]

((This was a really neat segment of story! You're gonna need to tell me what all is happening here, heehee!))

[Falikos]

Several weeks had gone by me in a continued parade of confusion. I was healing nicely physically, but I couldn’t wrap my mind around what had happened to me. I had been told by Kojiyama that I had been pulled from a building that had gone up in such an inferno nothing was left but ashes. I was the only survivor out of an apartment complex that housed at least thirty, lucky me. I couldn’t remember any of it, just flashes of memory from the brief windows of time I was lucid in the first days of his care. He had brought me holo-photos of the other residents of the building, everyone registered an a few that weren’t; I didn’t recognize any of them. The images turned in my head, empty faces stared back at me with no feeling.

He had left me in the lab I was being treated in, locking the door behind him. “For your safety”, he had said. Yeah right, it was evident that something was up; the question of what was just one of the many that perplexed me. The room was stark in its furnishing and very surgical, white tile floors, white vinyl chairs, stainless steel tables and tools. Whoever had selected the décor was either very cheap or very boring, possibly both. If I wasn’t trapped in here the perfectly typical nature of the room would almost be amusing, as things were now it only left me to wonder what went on in here when there wasn’t a damsel in distress on the premises.

Several stacks of folders had been left for me to look over while Koji went wherever it was he went, and I dragged a stool over the tiles with a whining sound to the table. On top of the stack was a note with instructions. Man was he bossy. I drummed my fingers on the steel and skimmed over it pausing at the bottom. “Why aren’t you in any of the resident ID photos?” was scrawled across it in a hurried squiggle. I shrugged and commented allowed, “How the hell should I know?” and reached out for another folder when the scraping sound of shifting fabric startled me. Without thinking I dropped off the stool and was crouched under the table; armed with a small knife I hadn’t noticed taking, I stared out across the room along the floor.

From the doorway I could hear the rough sound of cloth on cloth before I could see the boots and cloak hem coming my way. Each step rang out solidly on the tiles in sure stride, stopping just a few feet in front of me the swirl of black fabric brushing the floor. “That’s an excellent question indeed,” the voice belonging to the heavy boots remarked. I am in no mood for this, and shifted my weight quietly to the balls of my feet ready to bolt. I opened my mouth to sass back when he folded his legs under him and sat Indian-style across from me. His hands were empty of a weapon and his body looked relaxed, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t hurt me.

I quickly assessed his wardrobe for places to hide a gun or blade. He was finely dressed; the details of the leather trench-skirt were intricate but didn’t appear to have any pockets. Satisfying my sense of self preservation I looked into his pale face and his hazel eyes stared right back at me with a look of complete amusement. Apparently this was just tremendously funny, and I could feel my eyes narrowing of their own accord; I was glaring at him. He continued to watch me huddle under the table, eventually erupting in laughter, ebony strands of hair shaking free of the band that held them he was laughing so hard. Just great.

“Pleased to be so entertaining for you,” I smirked, staying safely away under the table. He regained his composure with remarkable speed looking at me with solemn interest, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Koji didn’t tell me he had a woman locked up in the lab.” I tilted the blade in my hand relaxing a bit and he arched his eyebrows, “Let alone an armed one.” He knew Koji, looked harmless enough, and the bandages along my spine were pulling at the skin where it was stretched from my crouch, I couldn’t stay under the table forever. “I’m coming out from under here, don’t you move or else.” I threatened, weaving the blade back and forth in the air for emphasis.

He nodded watching me and I began to stiffly unfold from under the table, my right leg slightly numb. How did I manage to get under here without it hurting and now if felt as if someone beat the crap out of me? I sighed slightly and switched the knife to my other hand and pushed off the floor with the other in an effort to stand, unfortunately I did it too quickly and lost my balance as my blood felt like it was rushing to my head. I was falling in what felt like slow motion in an ungraceful face plant directly at the man on the floor in front of me. Landing with a thud against his chest he caught me and moved me into a sitting position gently. Heat was rushing up my face in embarrassment and I looked at him, his eyes held back laughter but his expression held genuine concern.

“Name’s Anthony, most call me Simehiri, and you are?” he looked at me waiting as he turned the knife and handed it to me handle first. I took it and wracked my brain for a reasonable answer when one was provided for me. “She’s Katelin Phare,” Koji said from the doorway, crossing over with another stack of folders in his grip. “You’re a difficult woman to research. I see you’ve met Sim?” he grinned down oozing charm and offering me a hand to stand. I took it and moved away from both of them while they exchanged one of those macho hugs, patting each other on the back. They parted from their embrace and turned to survey me, making me feel as if I was standing naked in front of them instead of in the plain robe and bandages.

“Yeah, we’ve met.” I said turning my back on both of them, if they were going to look at me like that they could watch my back. I could hear a small chuckle from Koji and he walked up close behind me reaching around my front and set the folders he’d been carrying in front of me on the table. The guy just had no sense of personal space. He turned back toward Simehiri, commenting over his shoulder “You have an interesting if strangely brief life there Kate. Sim and I have business matters to attend to, oh, and there is a pack in the wash room. Get dressed, time for you to see it.” It. I knew just with ‘it’ was going to be, but wasn’t sure how to prepare myself.

I caressed the folder with my finger tips and mumbled a weak, “thanks” in their direction. As they left I could hear them talking, “Bit of a spit fire isn’t she?”

“You have no idea, emphasis on fire.”

I glanced back at the door as it slid closed and opened the file, on the front page was a photo of me, but it seemed like a stranger looking back at me. I was swollen and covered in new scars, and my hair was brutally chopped short while the woman looking back at me was almost pretty in an exotic kind of way. I stared at it, trying to will myself back into that person; pale white skin, long dark hair and a coquettish smile. I tried to pull my mouth into the grin I saw and winced, my lip cracking I could taste the blood in my mouth. My tongue darted out to ebb the flow of blood and I closed the file and dropped it into the waste basket near me. “What good is a past you can’t remember?” I mused.

“Katelin… Kate… Hrm, well I’ll keep that at least. A rose by any other name and all that crapola.” I shrugged the robe off onto the floor and darted carefully into the wash room, today I was getting out of here.

[Falikos]

The air hung with the acrid smell of damp burnt wood. The scent crawled in through my nostrils forging the beginnings of a headache as I picked my way around the cinders. Koji had not exaggerated on the destruction; the entire contents of the three story complex had been reduced to a smoldering mass barely reaching waist high. As I stood surveying the mess, my mind stumbled whirling together the pictures I'd been shown of faces I just couldn’t remember. The physical agony of just standing in it made it all blur together in a tempest of violence with the charred stone and wood as a backdrop. If I hadn't been pulled out… no, better not to go there.

The men were giving me a respectful distance, but the heft of their gaze weighed on me. Like a cold shiver down my spine my body trembled with guilt, vibrating lightly trying to shake itself to pieces and join the ash hanging in the air. Eyes stinging, I clutched my clothes tightly to me and flopped onto my backside in the debris. I was freaking out; I could feel it rise like bile. Temple, cheeks, nose. Back and forth I rubbed my hands across my face. I will not cry in this place where I felt nothing but guilt for being alive. You're not the sort of person that weeps for themselves, Kate. Or maybe I am, or was. Hell I don't know.

Being diplomatic with myself I agreed to be a basket case later when I was alone, and gave the boys a half-wave over my shoulder my hand flopping apathetically at the wrist. Sim nodded to me, dark hair dipping into his face and Koji raised his hand hailing me as he moved toward me grinning with easy boyish charm. It was cute, but part of the charm was lost in the way he carried himself; he was a heart breaker, and he knew it. Lifting my chin, I drew my eyes tight and glared at him down my nose; unfortunately it only encouraged him, lips pulling into a 60 watt smile. Confidence; he oozed it, a hunters presence and everything was either prey or family. His body moved like liquid, flowing over piles of trash, stalking to where I was parked amongst it. My body tingled as the hair on my neck raised, I was definitely prey.

He slipped his arm around me without asking, and tucked me into his body guiding my head into his shoulder and away from the bulk of the pile; shielding me from it in a calculated move. I looked up into his face to scold him, the silhouette of my reflection shining back to me in his gray eyes. I felt like I could see through the swagger that seemed to be his modus operandi. He was helping me for reasons that were to his own benefit without a doubt, but something else seemed hidden there. A kindness and well meaning intentions hid well below the surface; at least I wanted to believe it.

"Do you find any of this familiar?" he asked, sweeping his hand out over the field of debris, lording over it.

The gesture made light of all the crap floating around in my mind, and I could feel my shoulders tighten with irritation. Cheeky, very cheeky, if he wants that he can have it. "Nothing. It's nothing to me but a mess, and it makes me tired to look at it." I tried to pull away from him to get the hell out of here, but his hand tightened around my shoulder. Ah hell, now was not the time for him to be puttin’ the moves on me, and I could feel my forehead crease in annoyance at just the idea of it. As if he could see the impending commentary he raised a finger pointing up and just in front of us. I followed the line with my eyes and nearly shrieked. Hovering in the air like a specter was Simehiri, the amused expression he had earlier in the lab clinging to the edges of his mouth as he looked at me.

"Guess I have that effect on women" he stated, landing gingerly. Koji nodded to him unfazed. Oookay, floating is normal. Good to know. "It would appear we have some company coming our way." Ah, guess floating isn't just a matter of style, he'd been the lookout for our expedition. I knew that.

"Omni Pol? Or ICC?" Koji asked; unsnapping the clasps of his ancient looking leather holsters around his hips. His hands rode the grip of each gun comfortably, like a modern gunslinger. I smiled to myself, and started to ask where his ten gallon hat was, but thought better of it.

"ICC from the looks of it, one guard and two scientists. Harmless I'm sure, but they will ask questions about the delicate condition of our guest and why we are here snooping around."

"Then they'll just have to not find us." Koji said, leaving that open to interpretation as he closed his eyes and began to weave his hands in the air in an elaborate pattern. Nanobots began glowing a honey yellow, growing brighter with each pass. I watched transfixed, hearing them hum like bees performing a simple melody. I closed my eyes briefly, focusing on the sound of tiny ticks and hums as they interacted; it was beautiful. In my dazed fascination I hadn't been paying much attention to Koji and hadn’t noticed his gray eyes were slipping into a similar shade of yellow as the bots swirling around him.

Slowly things were changing, the tip of his nose elongated and silver fur formed on his cheeks as his ears pulled up into points, growing soft and fur lined. What in the hell? I blinked trying to force my mind to wrap itself around what it was seeing without much luck. I'd just manage rationalize one change when four more would take place. His platinum hair was flowing down his neck now like a mane, flecks of gray merging with the white of it. His hands stretched into claws and he threw his hands into the air stretching his body showing me a full view of bone sliding into places no man should have them. Shocking was an understatement, and I exhaled slowly as I watched. He landed on his hands, err... paws, and looked up at me winking one of four golden globes of eyes he now had at me while his legs grew and bowed into haunches. The display was disturbing but mercifully quick. Within seconds I was standing nose to nose with a silvery wolf with two great heads; both grinning at me.

My mouth hung open of its own accord, and I let it. This was avalanching into way more weird than I could handle, the stale surroundings of the lab were starting to look pretty damn good. It felt like my brain was going to overload and melt; I started the soothing pattern again with my hands on my face trying to make sense of it. I looked at Simehiri with all the bewilderment I could muster in my expression, he only shrugged. This was turning out to just be one of those days. I sighed and looked again at the wolf in front of me and did what anyone of sound mind would do; spun around on my heel and bolted.

[kranden]

This was something to reminisce about. TY fali

[Nuhmudiira]

(( Saw you ingame after, I guess, five years of being in and out of AO (just recently returned if you've perused Reet's) and decided to check here for something you may have posted. Looks like I found what I was looking for!

Going to make some time to read this and, what! Is that Kranden!?

P.S. @Kranden, I used to play an Agent named Zerufactur (or something along those lines). Alas, he's gone into cryostasis indefinitely.

Edit: Also, this is a bit inspiring. After having finished a novel I had been working on for a few years, I've been kind of slacking on the writing. I'm a little motivated to write something for this character, like a backstory of everything for the past 8 years leading up to now. Might get my juices flowing again. Hmm. ))

[Nuhmudiira]

(( Good read! And I look forward to digging up more things from the past! ))

[Gunfytr]

((Ok, I'm impressed.))