Another fine mess

[Eeod]

There they were, hanging upside down from the chains attached to their ankles in a damp cellar. Eeod looked at COSbot hanging next to him. COSbot just stared blankly at the opposite wall.

This was not exactly what Eeod had in mind when he left his apartment in Rome this morning.

“Ehm COSbot?”
“Yes?”
“I think we have to fine-tune some of your settings later. When… íf we get the chance.”
“Understood”

[Nyadach]

*looks at the delivery note for the bot he got on Wednesday*

Phew! not one of these.

[Eeod]

“.. and then you guess what I am thinking off.”
“Understood.”
“Ok, here we go. I spy something with my eye, and it’s… green.”
“Sc-anning…. Scanning complete. Processing results. Sixteen patches of moss on north wall, Fiber in your gloves, paint residue on the door hinges, mould on your drinking cup, and there’s something stuck between your teeth, but technically it doesn’t count because you can’t see it with your eyes”
“never mind…”

[Nevver]

((Hee hee! This is great! ))

[macduff]

Macduff stopped and looked at Eeod's lunchbox, sitting on a counter in the RUR HQ, shimmering under the protection of a reflect shield.

"Perhaps there is some important information in there that might lead to finding Eeod," he thought.

[Redtricks]

((Hahahaha!))

[Eeod]

"Ok COSbot,

I wrote a letter to my friends home at R.U.R.'s headquarters.
there's a secret message in the letter with an instruction to my colleagues.
Let's hope the censors don't notice it."

To my colleagues,

First of all I want to tell you that I'm fine.
Everybody should know I am treated well.
Even COSbot is in good shape.
Did some exercises this morning.
Dampness of the cellar is getting on my nerves though.
On the other hand it gives me an opportunity to study different kinds of moss.
Good, back to the point.
We don't want you to take special action.
All attempts to free us will be countered with brute force.
The Atroxes around here are very big and very nasty.
Even Opifexes look ferocious.
Really, don't get into trouble for me.
Probably the best course of action is to wait what happens.
Later this day I get the opportunity to talk to my "host".
A perfect chance to explain that my stay here is based on a horrible misunderstanding.
Now I have to finish this letter.
The way thing are going I think there still is a chance for me to get home.
See you soon my good friends!

Eeod

[moonfry2005]

Spooni enters the RUR lab, stretches and pours a cup of coffee. She looks around to see if anyone is watching then empties the rest of her martini into her coffee and drops in an olive. "Vhats zis? A letter from Eeod!"

Spooni sits down at the desk, sips at the coffee. Needs more olives. She sends Eeod a reply.

re: to my colleagues

Dear Eeod,
I am pleased to hear you are having a good time in captivity. We have all been worried sick about you. I will make sue the rest of R&D gets the message to not try any heroic rescue attempts. Dabblez may want to know when you are planning to come back to work. I will make sure to let her know you are keeping busy with field research. Keep in touch. Oh and I think McDuff ate your lunch. He said he was checking to see if it was poisoned. Be Well-Spooni

[Astera]

((haha!!!))

[Redtricks]

(( We demand more! ))

[Eeod]

Flashback from the day when everything went wrong.

“Ok COSbot, today you will have to scan different areas for Old people. Cant have community service tests without old people. If you find some, you’ll execute the service routine and help them make their life a little more comfortable.”
“Understood”
“Okeejj, let me just push this button here. There. Your new scanning device is now activated.”
“S-canning……S-canning.”
A pause.
“Negative result. No old people in Mutant Domain.”
“Hmm. This is not working quite like planned. If I just remove this zone restriction here, make a short-circuit from the power cells thru the QPT to the scanner.. there! Scan again.”
“S-canning…... S-canning. Tilt! Overload. Execute service program. Overheating.”
With a speed that was a fixer worthy COSbot disappeared in the distance.
“Oh bugger.”
Eeod reached in his pocket for his COM device. “Eh, Eeod to R.U.R. security, anyone home?”
“zgkzkgkzzkk security here, kzxgkzgxz we do for you?”
“Yes, ehmm, It seemes that I have lost my COSbot. Can you do a trace on him?

[Eeod]

“COSbot?”
“Yes?”
“Have the guards found out about your Service Compartment?”
“Negative”
“Ok, make a list of your inventory please.”
“Four tins of RUR-cola.”
“We might have a chance to escape here.”
“Two vacuum sealed pillows.”
“We could look at the possibilities to combine a few things.”
“Sparklers and matches”
“Maybe make some sort of explosive device.”
“Fertilizer.”
“I already see the headlines;”
“A spoon.”
“Nanomage engineer makes heroic escape from clan dungeon.”
“Motor oil.”
“I once heard a legend of a team of ex-soldiers.”
“The remains of a backgammon game.”
“They were three solitus and an Atrox. I believe they were called the Alpha-team.”
“Checking what’s left of backgammon set….”
“They could make a Tier armor with nothing but an welder, a roll of tinfoil and two popsicle sticks.”
“Half a board and 16 checkers,”
‘I wonder if we stand a chance of creating something with all those things you sum up to make an escape.”
“No dice.”
“Oh? Do you think so?”
“Not a matter of opinion. 100% sure. No dice.”
“Oh. Well then. At least we have given it a thought....”

[Yarko]

((hehe, can't wait for the rest))

[Eeod]

Eeod sighed.
“Something must have gone terrible wrong at R.U.R., COSbot.”
“What makes you think that Eeod?”
“Isn’t is obvious? I have put the time and place of our transport to our interrogators in my letter to R.U.R., and nobody showed up!”
“time and place?”
Eeod sighed again.
“COSbot? What is my personal-easy-to-remember-R.U.R.-membership-identification-number that Miremeld issued to make communications with the accountants easier?
“4537382222661783364232055321565364231638495002513 536878392116601?”
“No that’s last month’s number.”
“2911211116172830010804120302125381058802040707082 01525060637152390?”
‘Yes that’s the one. Just divide it in 2 digit numbers and project those numbers on the letters in my message.’
Scanning….. T-h-u-r-s-d-a-y-n-o-o-n-t-i-r-w-h-o-m-p-a-b-r-i-n-g-m-a-c-d-u-f-f…”
“Maybe their brave rescue attempt has been countered before they reached Tir.”
“I don’t know…”, said COSbot.
“What do you mean? How on Rubi-Ka could they have NOT gotten my message? What do you think they are doing?”
“Well, if you take every first letter of each sentence…….”

[macduff]

Macduff poured yet another can of RUR cola into the plant on Eeod's desk, while slowly munching from a fresh box of OT Notum-Infused Pet Chow. He watched the cola soak into the soil and wondered how this was helping to find Eeod.

[Eeod]

Eeod sat at a table in the corridor of the Dungeon. Opposite of him was his guard.
“By ‘Everything is going to be fine’, you mean I can leave soon? “
“Yes, we are not the worse people around you know.”
COSbot was in the pantry around the corner making two cups of tea.
“I think taking an Omni-Tek employee captive is not a sing of friendliness.”
“We have been through this a few times. It was for your own protection.”
“I was conducting tests!”
“In Clan territory? Are you out of your mind?”
“I admit COSbot has a little flaw. But that’s no reason to lock me up!”
“There’s nothing I like more than to see you go but you have to be patient!”
“Bwah. I have had it with patience.”
COSbot came to the table and served the tea.
“COSbot, These clanners really are thick as maple syrup in Antarctica.”

[Eeod]

There they were, hanging upside down from the chains attached to their ankles in a damp cellar. Eeod looked at COSbot hanging next to him. COSbot just stared blankly at the opposite wall.

This was not exactly what Eeod had in mind when he decided to sweet-talk himself out of his situation.

“Ehm COSbot?”
“Yes?”
“I think we have to fine-tune some of my social skills later. When… íf we get the chance.”
“Understood”

[macduff]

Heavily disguised, Macduff stepped out of the Tir wompah. He roamed the city looking for clues to Eeod's disappearance. An abrupt turn to avoid a guard led him directly to the local 'Mongol Meat.'

Perusing the vendor's sizzling offerings Macduff could only think that this was not a coincidence. He sat down at a nearby bench, prepared to eat all the tangy treats if necessary to find Eeod.

[macduff]

"Don't you know where Mongol Meat comes from?" asked the irritated Omni-Med bot. Macduff lay on his back on the exam table following the stomach-pumping while the bot prepared his bill and discharge papers.
"A bot couldn't understand sacrifice in the name of protecting one's friends," Macduff said. He sat up, waited a moment for his stomach to catch up with him.
The bot just shook its head.
"This has to be a record for the recovery of the most items that are not actually food. You should take it easy for a while."
Macduff laughed and slapped the irritable machine on the back. He grabbed his chair-bot and turned to leave.
"I have several more highly su****ious fridges to examine. I can't relax while an RUR compatriot is in jeopardy." He took hold of his chair-bot and headed out onto the streets of Rome Blue.

[Eeod]

“WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SINGING?”
Eeods face turned red. “I don’t like that song, you’re singing it out of tune, I’m cold and I want to go home!”
“Understood.”
“Understood! Understood! For a piece of junk you understand quite well don’t you? Why don’t you do something about our situation?”
“Input error.”
Eeod sighed. “You are giving me gray hair, you know.”
“Automatic scanning device activated. Scanning. Processing results…… Processing complete. Target locked on senior Citizen. Execute service program.”
COSbot’s voice suddenly changed pitch, and it’s face turned into a big smile.
“Weeel dear sir, can I help you with anything?”
A twinkle appeared in Eeods eye.
“Take me home.”




The head of the guards stood over the passed out Atrox.
“There are no other witnesses?”
“No sir!”
“Listen up. This is what I want you to do. Repair those doors, and erase all files about that maniac with his Monsterdroid, and never speak of what happened here again.”
He pointed at the Atrox. “Take this fool to a hospital, and when he regains consciousness let him know we do no longer require his services.
“Yessir!”
While the Atrox was carried away the head of the guard stared at the series of doors with COSbot-shaped holes in them.
“Computer, create personal backup-file on all data on Eeod and COSbot. After saving the files in my personal log erase the last two commands.”
He stepped through the hole in the outer wall of the keep and was temporarily blinded by the light.”
“Interesting piece of hardware. Very interesting….”