just some fun

[forney]

The fights these days that mothers have with their children arent fights at home anymore. Ever tried to go shopping with kids. If so, the following story will be familiar to you. If not there will be a chance you dont want to have children anymore, or worse you never will get out to go shopping.
When kids come out of school these days they want to sind behind their comp and play counterstrike. Oh lord, where are the days that they would play outside? But when they come home their mother has a big suprise. Instead of killing people on their comps they are going into the shoppingmall . Ever seen a sale in a mall, looks almost like counterstrike. But son will think different and becomes angry.
So the fight begins at home. Son comes home says hi and runs upstairs. Mom runs after him and turns the comp off just after it had started. Son angry. This probably means a new install of a certain program which name i will not say, just look out of the window and you know which program it is. Son goes with mom downstairs yelling to eachother until they are at the place where dad parked the car. Mom finds out that she doesnt have the carkeys and goes back into the house. Son thinks hurray and sprints upstairs. Mom finds the keys and walks to the car only to see that her son isnt there. Mom goes back into the house runs upstairs turns of the comp, which lucky didnt need a new install the first time. Mom and son are going downstairs and walk to the car. Mom finds out she forgot to pick the shoppingbag and goes back into the house but this time she drops her son into the car and walks back. Son thinks hurray again and steps out of the car. Lucky for mom this time is that she is quicker then her son, so he cant reach the stairs this time. Mom and son walk to the car and yes, off they go.
Son sits in the backseat and looks angry at mom, and mom only says Shut up. Son is still angry but behaves himself knowing that when his mom needs to say a second time Shut up, that his comp will need more then just a new install of the program which name i wont mend, but look threw the window and you know which program i mean.
Mom and son arrive at the carpark and get out of the car. No suprise is that a lot of moms and sons are doing the same thing at this time of the day. You almost would begin to wonder why counterstrike is almost empty around 17:00, but i guess this is the reason of it. So we have yelling moms, angry sons and a manager of the mall who thinks why he didnt become a monkey in a zoo instead of the manager of this mall.
Mom and son look for a trolly to put the stuff in and oh boy that means the first fight around the mall. Ever tried to get a trolly? You need to put a dollar in to take it with you. Only one dollar you say. Arent those thing worth more? Yes they are, but only when they are delivered to the mall. After the first time use, the thing is worthless because everybody wants to run into the mall, run with it threw narrow spaces between the shelves, while avoiding people and special sales corners With luck they wont run into one of those. If so, they will see the shopping manager running to them and hear him say sorry ma’am are you ok?. Wondering why he is so nice you turn around and you walk away. Within 5 seconds the mood of the manager has changed and some young kid, who likes to play counterstrike but doesnt have the money to play it, needs to build up the sales corner again which means just waiting after it until another mom drives their trolly into it again.
Mom and son have survived the first battle and got there trolly. While going inside mom finds out that the manager thought that redecorating the whole place would be fun for the people who come in. Mom thinks different when she finds out that the place where the bread was sold, now has fish. Walking to the former fish corner you notice that there isnt bread but all sort of refreshments. So mom runs to the former refreshement shell hoping the bread is there and no its isnt their. On that shelve a certain computor program is sold which name i wont mend, but… Yes look out of the window and you know what i mean. My guess is that moms ruin a lot of computers for there sons and that almost everytime when mom and son go out shopping, son needs a new box which name i wount ment…..well you know what i mean.
Finally mom finds the bread only to notice that the one she needs isnt there so she picks up another one. Son sees bread and begins with:i dont like that bread mom! Mom looks at soon and thats enough for son to keep his mouth shut before that mom comes home and put a slice of bread into his comp which means that he needs more then just the program which name i wont mention etc. Btw, looking all the time threw your window will probably mean that the neighbour on the other side of the street begins to wave to you thinking that you like him very much.
So mom has the bread. Vegetables is another crime to get. You need to pick up a special bag out of some strange alien made thing. You only need one bag, put it is almost certain that when you pull your bag out of it, the rest of the bags will follow. So now you have about hundred bags to put the vegetables in, but you you only need one because putting one bean in every bag will make the person who says how much you need to pay has to scan hundred bags with one bean in it. And no, she will not smile towards you. So you empty your trolly and put all the bags more or less back into the alien made thing. As soon you turn around someone else also tries to get a bag, which means he has the same problem now as you had before. And he also doesnt need those 100 bags, because the same lady who will smile towards you now, will become angry at him because she has to scan hundred bags with one carrot packed in each of them.
Ok, vegetables done and slowly mom finds all the stuff she needs. Oh my, a dangerous shelve. Candy, comic books and some toys on it. Son will begin to ask if he can get one of those. Mom will say no and son begins to cry. Mom asks if son can stop crying which means he will cry even harder. Mom begins to look around and sees to her relief that a lot of sons are crying because mom doesnt want to buy that comic book. The manager will look to the sky and wondered what he is doing wrong.
Finnaly she is standing in the row to pay her goods. But yes, the lady behind the desks recognises a friend in the row and begins to talk to her. 10 minutes later they are still talking. Mom looks at son, son looks back. Both arent happy. Another 10 minutes later mom comes back with comic book to keep son quiet. The manager looks at it and he knows that it was a good move to put those comic books close to the till. Friend of women is ready and walks away.
But yes, there is someone who forgot their wallet. The seach begins and all pockets are searched but no wallet. Manager begins to smile evil and takes person with him to his office. An old lady then. After seeing what she needs to pay she opens her wallet. She tries to look at the amount she has to pay, only to find out she cant read it. She opens her purse and gets her glasses. She puts them on, only to find out that there is suddenly a lot of fog in the shop. Glasses go of and the fog is gone, but she cant read the amount she has to pay. So she asks the women first where the fog has gone and then the amount she has to pay. Glasses go back in the purse and then she begins to put one coin at the time on the desk until she gets to the amount she needs to pay. Old lady ready but needs her glasses to get out of the shop, only to find out that the fog has returned and so she walks into another special sales corner thinking that the exits of shops these days are totally different then she is used to.
Yay, mom can pay. She looks at the amount she has to pay, only to find out that there are more candybags on it then she wanted to buy and looks angry to her son. She removes the candy and the lady behind the counter begins to look angry because she can start scanning again. Mom pays the amount and walks with the paperbags towards the car. But then there is a problem again. Where did she dropped her car? The place is packed with moms and sons but she doesnt see the car. But after a ten minutes earch she finds it. And when she arrives at the car, the paperbags fall apart and all the stuff rolls all over the place. She opens the trunk and throws the stuff in it and almost all stuff makes it into the trunk, besides some apples which were pressed into the pavement by a passing car.
Mom and son go back home. Son says bye and runs upstairs. Lucky for him his computer is still working, but noone is playing counterstrike. Mom drops on the couch and tries to relax after the war she has been to. And at the end of the day the manager of the mall locks the door, walks back home only to find out that his wife is waiting for him so they can do some shopping.

[forney]

Above story i wrote a couple of years ago. I translated it for a friend of mine and while doing that some little voice said to me to put it here also.

[skybert]

One word: Thumbs up!




wait. that wzs more than one word. It was two, wasn't it?
eh.. with that explenation, it became a lot more. Nevermind, then.

Good read anyhow. thanks for putting it up here!