ToTW what you should know:

[atlasdreamer]

IMO TOTW is also THE place for certain proffesions to learn what they can and cannot do.

MP's learn:
1. that their pets can and will train them
2. That their pets are retarded and have a fetish for doorways.
3. That their Nukes are perfectly designed to get them killed.
4. They are expected to have all composite nanos.
5. including the 8hr cm at level 25.
6. They are expected to have infinite Nano.

Engi's learn:
1. that their aura's can cause issues and that their pets will train them.
2. That their Bots can be expensive as hell.
3. That everyone thinks they are substituit tanks.
4. That their pet has an unholy fetish for Aztur.

Crats learn:
1. that not all charms are created equal.
2. That they will be expected to XP buff everyone 50% or more at level 20
3. That their pets have an strange desire to get them killed.

Advies learn:
1. they are not immortal.
2. They can be OD'd
3. They are expected to subsituit tank for Aztur.
4. They are expected to substiut Doc at the same time as number 3

Enfies learn:
1. how much they rely on Doctors.
2. How to Die spectacularly.
3. Mongo actually stands for Many Other Nasty Gits On me.
4. to Develope a fear of the Taunt.

Doctors learn:
1. that when folks Die they will be blamed even if they arent in the team.
2. That they are expected to substituit tank everything.
3. that the words "lets train to DOT" will mean the death of someone.
4. and that Number 3 is their fault even though they said No.
5. How to deal with Tell hell.
6. How to deal with Ninja team invites, 500 of them, all at once.

Keepers learn:
1. that everyone and their mother thinks they are Enfo's
2. How to deal with 500+ demands for Essence.
3. That since everyone else carries guns they should too.
4. that there is little to nothing there for them.
5. Every team will expect them to tank Aztur for them. with no compensation.

Shades learn:
1. that absolutely no one under level 100 thinks they are worth teaming.
2. That they are supposed to be able to kill Azture in two hits.
3. That they are selfish jerks because you wont buff anyone.
5. That you just wasted alot of time in ToTW for Dark Memmories and thats it.
6. How to count adds.

MA's learn:
1. the power of the grind
2. That everyone expects you to tank, including the enfo.
3. That everyone expects you to Doc, including the Doctor.
4. That you are gimp because you dont have a weapon equiped.

[atlasdreamer]

NT's Learn:

1. You will Die, quickly.
2. What "glass cannon" means.
3. AOE effects are not nessesarily a good Idea.
4. How to run away....
5. That Single Nukes are expected to kill everything at once.
6. AOE nukes should be used in Azturs room.

Agents Learn:

1. How to deal with 500+ tells demanding CM/CI/GSF/HOT/Essence/FG/XP at the same time.
2. How to deal with no one wanting to help them get armour.
3. How to deal with sudden agro after that AS just attracted the attention of the one mob in the room that will kill you in one shot.
4. How to deal with Everyone and their mother thinking you are a Dmg god.

Traders Learn:
1. Just how much use your heals are.
2. that you are expected to tank.
3. How much worth those team wrangles are.
4. Just how cool a slow shotgun is.
5. how to deal with 50000+ tells demanding a wrangle.
6. How to deal with Ninja invites, followed by 500+ demands for wrangle followed by "you have been kicked from team"

Fixers learn:
1. How to deal with 50000+ demands for GSF (even if you are only level 25)
2. How to tank as you will be informed that you are going to tank.
3. How lovely it is when GA runs out while you are tanking.
4. How its your fault no one can run away from GOT fast enough.
5. That you can in fact keep the Enfo alive, along with the shade, the agent and the Doctor all at once.

[atlasdreamer]

Soldiers learn:
1. Everyone Forgets about them but thats okay its time to learn that right?
2. Your Reflects and stuff will keep the entire team safe, if they dont you are a noob.
3. Everyone knows that the best weapon for a Soldier is whatever you happened to pick up out of the weapons machine the in basic shop.
4. By the way you are going to be the Tank didnt you know that?
5. how to deal with 500+ demands for RRFE, and Essense of behemouth.
6. Soldiers are expected to take orders from the team leader, you are soldiers arent you? So SHUT UP AND SOLDIER!\
7. That FA will in fact bring a largish number of heavily armed men to speak with you about the noise.

Now on to the proper method of actually getting what you need from ToTW.

First stand outside of ToTW demanding essense buffs from Keepers etc, dont let them fool you as we all know that Essense of Behemoth is given to all atrox's in the backyard.
Follow this up by immediatly ninja inviting every worthwhile proffesion in sight, dont bother asking because that shows weakness and noobishness. Remember you have been playing for a whole week now and thus Know all there is to know about making teams and how other folks should play their toons. As a side note, if some Noob actually offers you advice immediatly kick them from team as they had the audacity to question your authority. Follow this up by then demanding that your team of 6 level 25 folks train to DOT as thats what all the really experianced teams do. Dont forget to complain bitterly if they are slow reaching the designated meeting place or die on the way. Perhaps a kcik is in order?
Now at DOT comes the most important part, Dealing with your trains. oh, just a sec I forgot only Noobs Have trains at this point so just leave them to deal with it. Now where are you gonna go? Immediatly tell the team that since you know so much that you and another team of level 80's killed azture easily the other day so this team should have no problem. Demand that you go an kill azture. Here even break it down for the team:
1. We have an Advy who is immortal as everyone knows.
2. We have a Fixer who can Keep everyone alive.
3. We have a shade that can ubah spank GOT and Azture
4. of course there is you who could probably solo stuff but were nice enough to invite everyone else.
5. The Pistol enfo can tank for ya, never mind his aversion to Mongo as we have already seen that its a useless nano.
6. we have an NT that we picked up after kicking the Trader, the NT can kill everything else while we concentrate on Azture.

Now comes the important parts:
Everyone in your team is a ninja looter, it says so right at the temple entrance so make sure as team leader that you set team loot to leader. Now you can ninja loot in peace
Your job as team leader is to stay alive, so everyone else goes in first while you are busy looting for everyone. No worries you can divide up the DM's later along with the shadowfade armour.
If you forgot to set the team loot to leader no worries. You can always loot when everyone else is fighting, just make sure that damn soldier doesnt loot the Frosty or the Styg.

TO BE CONTINUED

[multi2thecore]

awesome!

what about soldiers?

[Stick]

and everyone should learn how to train or get trained

[atlasdreamer]

CONTINUED FROM A PREVIOUS POST:

Now that everyone is healed up and given a chance to rebuff, (about 30seconds) lead everyone down to GOT on the left. or head straight up the middle to Lien. The easiest way to do this is to tell everyone to head to GOT and go left this will make sure that the team arrives at the proper places in an orderly fashion. 2 at GOT, 1 at Lien, 3 at Nematet and one at reclaim. This is the best possible tactical arrangement of resources. Now make sure to complain about noobs when everyone doesnt get to their assigned places properly (cant let them see weakness). another way to ensure this orderly arrangement is to give Directions such as the following:
"r u stopid? 1s aidg o t0 GT!1!! rite psst teh Lion."

Now that the NT is back from reclaim (for the second time) , Since some kind soul properly draged a gaurd down to make sure everyone outside had a nice flag to pretty up their names. Its time to get down to buisness. First Kick the NT for being a N00b and recruit that level 60 Engi that is soloing down by Lien. To recruit him just keep sending team invites till he agree's. If he doesnt then he is obviously a sploiter because no one can solo ToTW (except you) and make sure to let him know you are /petitioning his exploiting ass. Especially when He OD's your entire team of 5 Ubah level 25 twinks, You know they are twinks because of the amazing amount of damage they are doing. alright Ya'll have finally gotten to Lien which was the plan the whole time, Wait for 5 minutes before you start complaining about her not spawning. You can take this time to start telling the team how your Main, a level 90 Enforcer just equiped an EOT dual weilded with a ql 300 AI pistol. You can also tell your team about how only beginners use proffesion specific weapons and how your Main has a <insert item that has only ever dropped twice on both realms combined in the last 7 years>. Ahh lien has finally spawned along with 3 legos, have everyone Attack...Except the shade who will tank all the adds.
Whoopsy that exploiting jerk of an Engi is back! and even worse he is killing the adds! Better petition him again especially as he is ODing the level 20 Shade who just died because of that dirty exploiting engi!.
Time to pull out the big guns! Time to cast your PETS! duh everyone knows MP's only cast their pets when the team is in serious trouble.
Once the team has reassembled outside of ToTW from Reclaim (with appropriate time spent buying new weapons/implants/nano's) better recruit a 6th team member.

[Dummy]

Thank you very much for the laugh.

And most of it are actually true.

Omg I start laughing again..

Thank you!

[Clamdigger]

You forgot to talk about agents...

It's a known requirement that anytime AS damage totals comes up in conversation, you need to let 'em know who's boss, even if you've never been an agent. If you say a high enough number, people will respect you. Tell them about the time you crit'd for 14K in totw (on your alt agent, of course), and laugh at the measly hits of lesser agents. "Wow, GZ on that 2K hit... what gun are you using? Yeah, nice. Ha, I was using (insert 1001 req rifle here) around your level."

It's best to do this on Team chat, while the agent's rezzing in Rome Green after he stole aggro from you and you figured, "Why mongo? He can probably tank it. Jeez, can't he False Profession a decent heal pet?"

[atlasdreamer]

You forgot to talk about agents...

It's a known requirement that anytime AS damage totals comes up in conversation, you need to let 'em know who's boss, even if you've never been an agent. If you say a high enough number, people will respect you. Tell them about the time you crit'd for 14K in totw (on your alt agent, of course), and laugh at the measly hits of lesser agents. "Wow, GZ on that 2K hit... what gun are you using? Yeah, nice. Ha, I was using (insert 1001 req rifle here) around your level."

It's best to do this on Team chat, while the agent's rezzing in Rome Green after he stole aggro from you and you figured, "Why mongo? He can probably tank it. Jeez, can't he False Profession a decent heal pet?"

Things of this nature may come up in the next section if I can get time to write it. I am currently at work so it may be a bit

[Norbal]

The best part of the previous part of the story (and made me lol outloud):

"2 at GOT, 1 at Lien, 3 at Nematet and one at reclaim. This is the best possible tactical arrangement of resources."

[Ciggie]

omg so sad yet so true
dont forget to add the uber loot u can get in ToTW - crumbling urns, MA books (maybe u can translate them to be used by a NT), omg rings - :P great work keep it up

[jjones2666]

"2 at GOT, 1 at Lien, 3 at Nematet and one at reclaim. This is the best possible tactical arrangement of resources."

makes 7 but that just adds to the amusement, awesome work

[atlasdreamer]

REGARDING TOTW LOOT:

There are a huge number of Items in TOTW. There are items for every proffesion, well except for Soldiers, shades, Keepers, NT's, Fixers, or Crats, or Engineers but no one cares about those proffesions anyway, they are just there to get you Ph@t L007. Some of those Items are so ridiculously over powered that you should make a point of forgetting all semblence of civilization and do anything in your power to get them. Now here I must give you a word of Caution. Some of the Items in ToTW are NODROP what this means is that it is in fact illegal and possibly immoral to leave them laying on a corpse. You should immediatly loot everything possible so that your teammates dont run the risk of the FBI or even worse, The ARK's comeing to your house and arresting you for leaving them on a corpse more than 2 seconds.

Which Items should you be interested in? Silly Noob, The only answer is All of them!
But in all fairness some items may may be harder to get than others because of how weak and stingy your teammates are. The ones you should get are as follows:

GTA: Guardian Tank Armore- that has been rumored to drop off of the big Robot called GOT but no ones really sure given that it has only ever dropped 50000 times in the history of RK2. This is a NODROP item

GCB: Guardian Circuit Board - this Item will carry you well into level 90, you know that because of how Ubah your main is. This is a Five Slot belt and the second most powerfull item to go in your belt slot in the game. This is a NODROP item

Stygian Desolator: This is the favored weapon of Soldiers and Fixers. but since those proffesions are so gimp they use guns you should grab it first. This drops off of Azture which anyone can solo. Make sure your team understands that it is their job to kill Azture for you. This is a NODROP item

Rings : Several, all of them have the NODROP tag so make sure you dont leave any lying around. I would list them all but they are too powerfull and your head might explode from just reading the names

Exarchs Robe : This backslot item is not NODROP but is in fact so important in the game that allowing anyone else to get it means you suck and should just start over. These drop in any room that has Mobs named BOB or Exarch. The reason this item is so important is that it will take up a slot in your bank for the next 150 levels. at that point you will be able to trade it in to get into the secret Club house of the Ubah. This secret clubhouse is sometimes refered to as IS or Inner Sanctum.

Frostbound Scyth: This item is a truely AWESOME weapon in the hands of a master such as an engineer. This commonly drops off of legomen. this item is NODROP.

Tears of Ukelesh : This is a peircing weapon and you can in fact wear two of them. Though why you would want to is anyones guess. Rumor has it that if you trade this item to an Ubah Fellow named "best in brass" while he is talking with the guards outside of Rome that he will in fact give you five levels immediatly. this item is NODROP

Dark Mammories errr Memories : This drops off the boss mob named Lien. Lien is a selfish thing and will only drop 1 or 2 of the Five that you must have in order to be Ubah later on. In fact these Items are so powerfull that you will probably still be wearing them at level 220. These are NODROP.

Liens Crystalizer : This is a special PET summon nano. This item was stolen from Lien by a Mob that is hidden somewhere. You will have to kill a Wyndam or Find a Sefus bomb and use that to summon the Mob Silrillion and have him kill it.

There are a number of Items I have not mentioned here but thats okay there is an exploit you can use by going to aomainframe.info to find out what every item in the game is along with several Items that only drop off of ARK's and GM's.

[atlasdreamer]

If anyone is interested in me trying to continue this epic saga
Please feel free. and I will try to enlighten everyone on the various specifics of dealing with each ToTW Boss

[Blackbird933]

please do continue, the truth must be known.


...that and its incommunicatably funny!

[Ciggie]

hell ye ure gonna continue writing this saga and sagas about all ubah locations such as reets retreat and the mini cuty.
i hear you can get mini aliens attack ure mini city then squash them with the ubah boots u found in that ubah subway area. what was its name again?

[atlasdreamer]

ToTW boss Mobs: or "critters that will Keel J00"

The following are presented in no particular order. Remember this is Anarchy Online which of course means that its against the EULA to actually present information in a usefull fashion too often.

1. DoT: Defender of Time
This Boss Mob is a favored Meeting place of all teams. The common battlecry of "Train to DOT!" can be heard all around the entranceway of ToTW, shortly followed by the bellowing of angry IRS agents hunting down Teams that forgot to pay their Reclaim tax. This mob Floats in a central location that puts him right in the way of you getting what you, and only you, rightly deserve. DoT hovers there to point the way to new and old travelers to ToTW alike, unfortunatly the rude beggers normally wax him before he can properly say hello but thats not important right now. DoT does carry some rather Ubah Equipment for your up and coming Soldier's namely a skull on a stick, an implant only usefull to NT's and a sharp pointy thingy, all of which are NODROP so dont forget to make sure to loot them immediatly.

2. GoT: Guardian of Time
This mob can be found in a large room perfect for holding campfire sing-a-longs and meeting that special train. Here is a Giant robot that looks something like Snoopy on acid that carries the VITALLY important loot mentioned earlier of the GCB and of course the fabled GTA. These Items are so important that some people will actually take up residence to kill GoT repeatedly over a period of months. While you are visiting GoT you may wish to avoid conversations with him as they tend to get interrupted frequently by him dying, you dying, or Azture coming in to tell you to keep the damn noise down. The best tactics in dealing with this giant dog is to make sure that another team is there at the time you reach him so that you can show off just how important and Ubah you are by Killing him out from under the other team. If , by some wild mischance, the other team actually manages to Outdamage you then it is within your right to immediatly petition them for being exploiters.

3. Lien: Crossdresser extraordinaire
Sadly this poor mixed up boss has forgotten what gender she is and subsequently has confused many an Atrox by asking him out to dinner and a quick fling. I would suggest turning down the offer. Lien is accompanied by a number of dimunitive Fanboys as well as several legomen (generally called Legos for short). The has a nasty area root and nuke that is similar to watching a superbowl half-time special featuring Janet Jackson. She loves long walks on the beach, Flowers, and eating souls. Lien also is another Boss that carries VITALLY important Ph@tz called Dark Mammaries. These NCU items are so important that you should in fact Ninja-loot them immediatly as she only drops 1 or 2 at a time. Added to this it can take as long as 2 minutes to kill her!! She does not how ever carry the legendary Liens Crystalizer Nano.

4. Azture: LAPD
Sadly Azture has an undeservedly violent reputation as he is actually quite nice and a loyal freind to demons everywhere. Azture is however a bit of brat in that if he loses at anything he will call his big brothers in to stomp you into something vaguely appetizing to Lien. No one is entirely sure exactly what loot Azture and his brothers have but rumors suggest that if you manage to kill him with a chocolate cake he will drop either a pair of MA gloves or even a Stygian Desolator. The proper method to killing him is to bribe an ARK, or summon the Mighty Silrillion! that is if you happen to have a Sefus bomb!

5. The Reanimator:
This is another frighteningly important Boss mob. She carries The SKULL on a STICK thingy! With this club no one is safe! Unfortunatly for many the Reanimator is currently one of those poor souls that the folks of Rubi-Ka have forgotten. She works tirelessly to Reanimate the bodies of IRS tax collector and Forum Trolls. She also weilds the dreaded JennyCraig Nano. This nano can make even Atroxs suffering from Overeating Bone thin in an instant. The Reanimator also carries a rather nasty Chunk of meat around that you can throw over your shoulder and PROVE just what an ubahl337 ToTW twINK you are.

[Russm1]

She also weilds the dreaded JennyCraig Nano. This nano can make even Atroxs suffering from Overeating Bone thin in an instant.

lmao thats the best line in the entire thread

[Upupa]

Thank you for fun reading Atlasdreamer

[atlasdreamer]

6. Nematet: lonely S/W/?
This fellow is a party animal. So much so that he carries around several PimpCups Filled with the nectar of the gods, namely MD 20/20. This fly guy is always found rollin with his posse. This goblet he carries is so important that allowing a doctor to loot this item will eventually end in you dying in PvP against that same doctor. It gives so much NanoCinit that it will actually prolong the Doctors life by .0001% , which as we all know is an unacceptable amount.

7. Gargantua Teh GateKeeper: The Bouncer
This fellow is large and in charge. He will do his best to prevent you from reaching your goal of making Aztur cry like a baby by repeatedly Mogoing. He will beat you into senselessness with his trox e-p33n. For the record though he does rarely carry the amazing implant of the Keepers wasted. The Keepers Wasted implant will impart so many buffs you will feel like a Trox after a three day Methamphetamine bender. Good luck though he tends to hid it with the Efus bomb thats used to summon Silrillion.

Other Mobs of Note

There are none of note, except you of course. But just in case you want to keep a good record of the massive number of mobs you have slaughtered on your way to the top...

1. Cultists
These mobs are more common than Tax collectors, and more annoying than Fanboys at a Pr0n convention. You will find them anywhere in the Temple of three trains, in bathrooms, in closets, in bed...err never mind that last one. Cultists are not a very smart bunch luckily.

2. Cultist of the sacred order of OCD
These mobs may seem indistinguishable from normal cultists at first but the truely enlightened Temple goer can spot them on sight. First of all they all have blue eyes for some reason. They will immediatly attack anyone that tracks mud on the floor. They will immediatly attack anyone that leaves bloody footprints anywhere. They will also attack at the first sign of a Christina Aguilerra CD from the 20th century.

3. Did I mention More cultists than you can shake a slice of pie at?

4. Windcallers
This higher order of OCD cultist apparently have an obssesion with Methane gas and will immediatly point out anyone that dares to bring any into the temple by attacking them. Atrox NT's should be especially carefull here. For some reason they really hate you guys.

5. Acolytes of the OCD
These fellows hate dirt so much they wear white. The moment they find a speck of dust on their robes they are driven into a fanatical rage attacking anyone in sight.

6. Exarch <insert name here>
No one is really certain why these fellows have reached such heights but you can bet the secret is to be found in the mysterious Chests locked away in the hellhole that is.......The Crypt of Home.