Chronicles of the Hecknoobs: The Nerfbat Anthology

[Docnamdkeeper]

So whats next?

The War for Eden: L00b's Attack?

Hmmmm, still debating if I should do the great pwning in the face of AI next, or the great pwning of the face of LE.

Don't expect either too soon though, school is now in full swing and they don't tolerate me having free time.

[Ciggie]

beautifully done
one note though. Im a he not a she no prob though
and as for 220, well that will be very soon in 219 now
just need time to play a bit inf missions in a chain team
good job cant wait for the next one

[Sillanto]

This really needs to be sticky'd

[Docnamdkeeper]

You feel the core of your being shift, as the source makes room for a divine presence. 'Mindkeeper' has reached enlightenment.

Random bump in celebration!

[Kylissa]

yay! Gr@z!!!!!!

Loved the story showed the chronicles to one of my friends and now we're bantering phrases and quips from the chronicles

[Docnamdkeeper]

Random bump in celebration of the impending n00b year!

And because I'm so nice... the short skit of the Mental Hospital Patients....

Snowkitten, Iamiko, Saetos, Prawnz, and Pronz all escaped the Asylum and are currently loose on the street, whereabouts unknown. Except for Pronz, who has been sending some very strange emails to a certain receptionist at the Omni-Med Butter Asylum.

Chapter 12.0.1

"Zomg zomg zomg!" Saetos shouted. "Only -5 shopping days left until Christmas!"
"Uhmmmm...." Iamiko said slowly. "You better run to the shop pretty fast then."
Snowkitten blinked a few times, then took out the big book of verb tenses that she had gotten from some resturaunt. "And what have-willened you gotted for me?" she asked.
"I have-willened probably gotted you a pet leet." he answered without missing a beat.
"I haven-willt always wantedwillen one!" Snowkitten squealed.
Pronz looked around. "But... I want to be your pet leet..."
Snowkitten smiled and hugged Pronz. "Awww, you can be my pet leet too, of course," she said.
"Pet leet with benefits?" Pronz asked hopefully.
"Ew!" Snowkitten burst, and threw Pronz away from her.
He sailed through the air and slammed limply into the sign over the Borealis shop named fair trade.
You know.... the sign that says "Fair Trade"?
"Uhm... I'm off to do some late-minute shopping," Saetos said, and ran quickly into the shop with the sign over it saying "Tools and Stuff"
That shop was probably named "Tools and Stuff"
Iamiko, Snowkitten, and Prawnz all shrugged.

A few minutes later, the receptionist of the Omni-Med Butter Asylum walked around the streets of Borealis, carrying two laptops, and then spotted Pronz. Wordlessly, she handed him a laptop and sat down in front of him.
They both unfolded their small computers, and then the receptionist typed something and smiled.
And then Pronz typed something and grinned.
And then the receptionist blushed, typed something, and then giggled.
Pronz raised his eyebrows, typed something, and grinned.
"Uhmmm... what are you two doing?" Iamiko asked finally.
"We're..." the receptionist said, and then began to grow red in the face. "Having an intimate time together, over the..."
Snowkitten walked over and looked at Pronz's screen, then walked back over to Iamiko and Prawnz with eyes as wide as dinner plates.
"They cybering?" Iamiko asked.
Snowkitten nodded.
"Uhm....." Iamiko said uneasily. "Why don't you two just get a nice hotel room.... you two are right there...."
"Well..." the receptionist replied, now as red as a santa hat. The red part, not the white fuzzy stuff. "There's some things that you just can't do in person... and there are some ways I'd like to imagine him differently."
Pronz blinked. "Wha? You dont like me the way I really am?"
"Well I.... I'd always thought that the person I'd be with would be a bit taller, and have long blonde hair..."
Pronz puffed himself out indignantly and his eyes went to the goldenrod stubble on top of his head. "WTF you talking about?"
"No, it's just that..."
"And I'll bet you couldn't really cast "Mighty (censored) of the immortal in person," Iamiko added as she looked at Pronz's screen.
"Yeah, that requires a LOT of stamina and agility, something few people can do without having lots of outside buffs and gear," Snowkitten added.
"Well you could probably do it if you had a Burden of Competence equipped, but those things are huge and pointy, and would probably be uncomfortable for..."
Pronz folded his laptop and stormed off furiously and the receptionist ran away crying.
Prawnz ran and took the two laptops, and then gave one to Snowkitten and one to Iamiko. "M3rry Christmas!!!"
Snowkitten and Iamiko both smiled warmly to Prawnz, who bowed, and then looked to each other, with the laptops. After a few seconds they both shook their heads an put the laptops away.

A few minutes later Saetos came running back from the shop with a wrapped gift in a leet shape in his hands.
"Merry willen-haven-are-having-will-haven..."
And then he stopped when he saw Snowkitten pointing her gun to her head.
"I got you something Iamiko!"
Iamiko tore away the paper and there was a leet doll.
"Awww! It's soo cute!"
She put down her wrench, equipped the leet doll, and whacked Prawnz over the head to test it.
"And very practical!"
Prawnz staggered around dizzily. "Zomg, GAWD BL355 US! EVERY 1!"

We wish j00 all a Merry (willen-haven belated) Christmas and a happy Noob Year!!

[Kylissa]

Yay! Leet-doll special attack!

[Xombified]

wtb moar

[Xaun]

Hahaha.. <3 it..

[Xaun]

Chapter 10

-POP!-POP!-POPPITY!-POP!-POP!-
"Wasn't me that time," Ruffix coughed as he, Windam, Cyriann, Xaun, and Quieromorir appeared in the garden of Shere.
"Just confused is all, right," Cyriann commented.
Windam sighed. "You guys, we gotta find Sillanto...."
Everyone looked around.
"You there!" Windam called out to another player who happened to be in the garden at that time. "Old woman!"
The player looked up. "Man!"
"Old man?" Windam ventured.
"I'm not old."
"Well I can't just call you man."
"I'm Denis."
"I didn't know you were called Denis."
"The name is floating above my head if you left click me, dumb(censored)" and Denis ran off.
"Excelent people skills," Xaun whispered. "Now watch this..."
Xaun walked slowly over to another player who happened to be sorting through the bank, occasionally looking up from his overflowing inventory toward the depiction of Ergo in front of the spinning pointy thing.
"Excuse me," Xaun said politely, and then cloncked the guy over the head with the bottle that Windam had been hit with.
Somewhere in a far off place, someone with a click counter labelled "Died of Bottle Damage" clicked, sending the count to three.

OMFG I about died laughing over this one.. HAHAHA.. *clonk*

PS I am a she not a he.. but still loved it.. hahaha

[Docnamdkeeper]

Rumor has it that there will be a sequel in the future.

We will -NOT- tell wether or not the rumors are true. We will only spread them.

[Sillanto]

Woot!!! Best news ive had all week.

On another note i spotted Mindkeeper lurking around Bor last night.

[Docnamdkeeper]

On another note i spotted Mindkeeper lurking around Bor last night.

GET HIM!!!!

yes, you may notice that escaped mental patient hanging around bor or loitering on lft. he should be stopped and /nerfbat attacked immediately.

[Docnamdkeeper]

ATTENTION PEOPE WHO ARE WAITING FOR THE SEQUEL

The next series has been delayed without notice due to the feigned death of the author, who is currently in a coma at the morgue after playing dead to avoid being mauled by a bear. The bear happened to be smoky, who then dropped him off at the morgue. He was pronounced retarded and then placed in one of those funny lockers with the dogtags on his feet.

Currently, a court is suing for the right to burn him alive based on the doctrine of public policy. The jury has not yet voted in favor of either party, but is weighing heavily on doing it "for the common good" and simply because "there hasn't been a good burning in a long time" and "I like smores".

Meanwhile the library of congress is searching for a means to add the late Docnamdkeeper's works to their collection. Sadly though, they can't find a scribe who's handwriting is sufficiently horrible so that nobody can actually READ this (censored). Also, the motion is being delayed while they figure out if they should replace the "(censored)"'s with the appropriate swear, and then wether or not to draw a black box over said word or not.

Meanwhile, a government study, done by randomly stopping people in the area of the examinee's back yard, found the startling consensus that 100% of people in the world don't really care about this. It also recorded that 100% of people like watching Dr. Phil, and have dogs named sparky who they are currently playing frisbee with.

April Fools btw

[Docnamdkeeper]

We interrupt the movement of this thread into page 50 of the thread listing to announce the sequel will begin....

Next Tuesday.

Which, by a startling coincidence, just so happens to be the day before one week from the day following the day two days after the day before yesterday.

Except we're all going to die the day after tomorrow.

[Xaun]

We interrupt the movement of this thread into page 50 of the thread listing to announce the sequel will begin....

Next Tuesday.

Which, by a startling coincidence, just so happens to be the day before one week from the day following the day two days after the day before yesterday.

Except we're all going to die the day after tomorrow.

*head hurts*

[Docnamdkeeper]

*head hurts*

which coincidentally happens to be one week from now right now.

Which also must mean we're all going to die tomorrow because of global warming.

[Ciggie]

w00t omg i cant wait for it
make me a part of it will ya? i was one of the originals heroes, or was it the sequels hmm... ^^

[Ciggie]

shameless bump ^^