Eng lft
Phew.. I mean I know it's hard to find a team nowadays but with the handicap of being an eng it's just impossible!
I awoke from suspended animation, smiling with joy that I wasn't sitting on anything this time (We've all had bad experiences with that), and looked around trying to remember where I was. Ahh yes, the Garden of Gilthar. Lovely.
I took a seat near a statue and started playing LFT wars with the other <Insert silly number> players also looking for a team. 2 hours passed and nothing happened, so I realised I would have to venture into the wilderness to find a team the hard way.
I stepped through the portal and materialised at The Outmost Yard. Taking advantage of the quiet area I scratched myself and let out a bit of gas (Better out than in) to be shocked to hear a group of giggles coming from behind a nearby tree.
"Who's there?" I shouted, "Come on, show yourselves, newbies!"
"Newbies?" A voice replied, "I hardly think so."
A group of 4 Meta-physicists stepped out from the tree and formed a circle around me, their grinning faces eyeing me and my slayer up and down. They were lower level than me, about 15 levels. I looked around nervously, feeling a little threatened by the demons who growled at me whenever I tried to move.
"What the heck are you guys doing? Get out of my way dudes, or I'll poke you with my screwdriver" I roared, taking no care to not spit on them as I shouted.
"Oh goodness no, we can't be doing that. We've noticed you shouting LFT on the chat interlink for a little while... We can't have you taking our spaces in teams can we?" The tallest, ugliest one replied. He was no doubt the leader
"Your teams? What the hell are you on about - I deserve to be in a team just as much as you."
"Oh no, that's where you are wrong. You see, you suck."
I looked around, shocked. Sure, I wasn't best thing to walk through Adonis but I knew I didn't suck! I narrowed my eyes and stared at the leader.
"What did you say?" I said through clenched teeth
"You suck. You've no place in teams. Why should they choose an eng when they can choose one of us. We can supply them with nanoskill increases, heals, mezzes, debuff enemies, and our demon kicks your robot's ass. What can you do?"
I clenched my fists. Not only were they plain mean, but the worst part was that I knew they were right. I couldn't think of a way to reply.
"Give me a hand guys," The leader called. "This atrox eng is taking a trip to see the bottom of Adonis pool."
I stepped back to the edge of the cliff, away from the approaching bloodthirsty meta-physicists. I looked behind me, down into the bottomless pool of water. Jeez, why me. I had nowhere to go.
Suddenly one of the meta-physicists screamed and ran at me full speed. Reacting as only an atrox can, I side-stepped his foolish charge and executed a spinning kick, cracking him in the back of the skull with my foot. He clutched his head in pain and moaned as he fell into the pool of water below.
"Master!" A demon shouted, jumping in after him.
"Stupid bloody pets..." I whispered under my breath. I looked at the other meta-physicists. They stood there, shocked, and a bit scared.
"Don't stand there you gimps, get him!" The leader shouted.
I chuckled to myself and pulled my master engineer pistol from my pocket.
"Slayerdroid, attack the one on the right. I got the one of the left" I commanded my slayer.
"Yes Halouk, I think I will take a detour to the south for 20 seconds before I attack him, ok? There's a nice looking tree down there, I wanna check it out." My slayer replied, before I could stop it. I sighed and took an aim at the left metaphysicist, shooting him straight between the eyes with a blast of charged solar power. He groaned and fell to the floor, holding a bleeding nose. His demon growled and charged at me, punching me in the gut before I had chance to think.
I was thrown back about 10 feet, clutching my winded torso, gasping for air. The demon approached me and kicked me, forcing me to roll to the edge of the cliff.
In the corner of my eye I saw the meta-physicist get back up, and I held my pistol in line with him. Praying lady luck was on my side, I took a pot shot in the meta-physicist's direction. It hit him right in the head, throwing him back and off the cliff. His demon of course, jolted around and sprinted after him. I stood back up just in time to see my slayer tackle the other meta-physicist and knock him flying off the cliff. Only the leader was left.
"Grrr... damned Shadowland noobs. They have no idea how to act in this world. I shoulda guessed you were more experienced."
"I've been here about a year, yes" I replied.
"A year? And you are level 182? Hah."
"It's not easy to find a team..."
"Of course it's not! Engineers are bad for teams. Their pets are unpredictable, and at higher levels your gimpy pets cannot be recast without help from one of us and a trader when they die. Which they always do. You guys are messed up. There's no place for you in Anarchy Online."
I grinned to myself and agreed. He was right. Over the last month or so, I had witnessed so many of my engineering friends retire. But there was hope at the end of the line.
"Maybe so, but engineers have had a beacon of hope. The god of this land has told us we will get our problems sorted out soon, hopefully after the first alien invasion hits Rubi-ka."
"That's too long. You will all be gone by then... I will personally make sure of it. There's not room enough for 3 pet classes."
The meta-physicist focused his mind and I looked around shocked as I was lifted off the floor, and found myself floating.
"Slayerdroid! Get him!"
"Yes Halouk! In 5 minutes!" I sighed as my slayerdroid ran south. It looked like this was it. The meta-physicist chanted to himself and I started to move towards the edge of the cliff. I closed my eyes and waited to feel the water consume me. Instead I heard a small cry of pain, and felt a thud as I fell to the floor. I opened my eyes to see the meta-physicist stood there, his eyes wide open in shock. I stood up, brushing myself off and aproched him.
As I got closer, he fell to the floor and I could see my Predator, which had given him one hell of a bite on the ass.
"Predator! I thought I lost you in Wailing Wastes when I stepped over that pebble! Jeez, its damn nice to see you boy."
I petted my pet in joy, only to then hear a small hissing sound. I looked around in confusion to see that it was coming from the meta-physicist on the floor. A flume of steam rose out of him, and he split in two, and a small leet emerged. It was a robot!
"Ooo... joo dead now foo. I get mah ofah leety meta-physy friendlings to come own joo! Engineers will be all DEAD by the time of teh alien invasion!" It squeeked. "Joo die! hahahaha-"
I looked in disgust as my slayer arrived from his detour and had foolishly stepped on the rodent.
"Did I just hear something crunch?" The slayer asked.
"Nah." I replied. "Let's go find a team."
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