Strategy Guide humor

Printable View

Jan 6th, 2003, 10:02:24
Cyprux

Strategy Guide humor

My friend go me hooked on AO when he quit so when I started playing he gave me his strategy guide... I used it a little bit i learned how to master scripts and macros thanks to it and it had some decent maps... no for about a year atleast its been sitting in my box labeled crap until one day I decided to look at it for some strange reason... and reading it turned out to be nearly one of the funniest things I have been through with AO... the following quotes are exact quotes from this "strategy guide"

Profession quotes:

Adventurer: Bottom Line - A profession for those who like morphs and for newbies.

Enforcer: Weapons- Your the king of Melee weapons: get the best ones you can. For backup carry a shotgun or an SMG.

Engineer: Bottomline A good, well rounded, nano-based profession

Trader: Intro- Traders really know how to stretch a buck. parties love them for thei ability to finagle the very best weapons and equiptment for rock-bottom prices.

Weaknesses- No real offensive capabilities.

Weapon- Shotgun is a good choice for a trader. Weapons are strictly for emergencies only for this profession

"The Arena"

Arenas are excellent places to go to practice pvp combat. You and a friend can check into the arena and pound on each other to your heart's content, healing up ever so often and starting again. Of course. arenas are also good places to settle quarrels and questions of precendence.

But they are also good places to get yourself kille. If you and a friend go to the arena for practice, and some tougher guys kill you both... hey, rough day. if another player invites you into the arena for practice and then kills you...shame on YOU for being so gullible
Jan 6th, 2003, 11:23:23
Wobble

Re: Strategy Guide humor

Quote:

Originally posted by Cyprux
Trader: Intro- Traders really know how to stretch a buck. parties love them for thei ability to finagle the very best weapons and equiptment for rock-bottom prices.

Weaknesses- No real offensive capabilities.

Weapon- Shotgun is a good choice for a trader. Weapons are strictly for emergencies only for this profession

See!!

We have no offensive capabilities!! Traders need love!
:D
Jan 6th, 2003, 15:24:27
Mharc

Man... I need to get that thing off the shelf again one of these days. There's bound to be more hilariously outdated stuff in there :D
Jan 6th, 2003, 16:30:52
Rubirango

Re: Strategy Guide humor

Quote:

Originally posted by Cyprux

Enforcer: Weapons- Your the king of Melee weapons: get the best ones you can. For backup carry a shotgun or an SMG.

Backup Shotgun or Smg lol, I wonder how many newbs gimped themselves maxing shotgun or SMG aswell as 2hb or whatever, after reading that "guide"
Jan 6th, 2003, 17:43:05
Darkbane

Re: Re: Strategy Guide humor

Quote:

Originally posted by Rußirango

Backup Shotgun or Smg lol, I wonder how many newbs gimped themselves maxing shotgun or SMG aswell as 2hb or whatever, after reading that "guide"

Hmm... would only be needed for PvP as an emergency backup when rooted, and it does imply you can get your weapons on and off easilly.... Would be possible for single-skill weapons I'd guess, I could have near 500 in shotgun if I wasn't blighted with HW requirements... But I suspect its not common, at least at low-mid levels...
Jan 6th, 2003, 20:14:12
__________THEDEACON!

LOL man, those exact words were in the strategy guide? Jesus wept, who wrote that thing?
Jan 6th, 2003, 21:42:33
____________Twidgett

I just re-read the guide, I'm still crying.

Too d*** funny!
Jan 8th, 2003, 05:39:22
Cyprux

Quote:

Originally posted by THEDEACON!
LOL man, those exact words were in the strategy guide? Jesus wept, who wrote that thing?

yep =)
Jan 8th, 2003, 08:48:37
skybert

Re: Re: Strategy Guide humor

Quote:

Originally posted by Rußirango

Backup Shotgun or Smg lol, I wonder how many newbs gimped themselves maxing shotgun or SMG aswell as 2hb or whatever, after reading that "guide"

*raises his hand*

well, I didn't read that then, but I once used a gun of some sort. I've forgotten what it was, but I swear it had assault rifle, shotgun and flingshot as req :D

HEY! I was new to AO back then, and was told I needed to get a new weapon (I was using my startup-bat at lvl 6, dammit):D
Jan 8th, 2003, 22:55:15
Zio

lol nerf those well rounded engies :D
Jan 8th, 2003, 23:27:43
Lyricia

Re: Strategy Guide humor

Quote:

Originally posted by Cyprux

Engineer: Bottomline A good, well rounded, nano-based profession

The only "well rounded" Engies are the ones that pick the obese model
Jan 9th, 2003, 20:14:50
kymaene

It also says we NTs are the masters of damage :)

Kymmie :)