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Thread: Making ends meet.

  1. #21
    "I think I have something!" Clifford announces triumphantly to his yuttos clients.

    "Ergo be praised!" responds 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt In Soup', hands raised to the heavens.

    "RUR's management are still stalling over our request to visit the Yuttos Energy Drink plant claiming health and safety reasons. So I started going through the financial accounts. And that is when I discovered a very large payment to one PuppyZee." Clifford pauses for effect only to realise that the name PuppyZee does not mean much to the yuttos.

    "PupyZee is a famous film director." continues Clifford. "He mostly does music videos and flashy adverts. I'd seen the RUR billboards of course and the GSP advert, but was I sure I'd never seen video adverts, let a lone a PuppyZee ad, for RUR on Rubi-Ka before so I got curious. I contacted PuppyZee production company and had them send me a copy."

    'One Who Knows Much Trivia' shakes his head. "Human customs are complex. Financial accounts? video adverts. We do not have these things. I am ashamed to ask, but can you explain this again to me?"

    "I can do better than that my dear fellow, I can show you!"

    The lights dim in Clifford's office and a large video screen smoothly descends for the ceiling. "Here it goes." says Clifford.

    >> Click here to see the video!<<

    As the video ends, the lights come back on.

    "Very nice tune and good singing voice." says 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt In Soup'.

    "I like this Wee Fit. Where do I get one?" asks 'One Who Knows Much Trivia'.

    "As you are the owners of the company that makes the Wee, that shouldn't b a problem, but don't you see, that's not the blinking point!" replies Clifford, louder than he had intended.

    "I am sorry." says 'One Who Knows Much Trivia'. "What is the point?"

    "This video was commissioned by RUR months ago, long before the Yuttos Energy Drink or the Wee was put on the market. And what's more, it's was not really made for human audiences. It is designed specifically to appeal to the yuttos demographic."

    "What? We have a demographic now? Why wasn't I informed?" complains 'One Who Knows Much Trivia'.

    "No one tell us anything anymore my friend. It's a sign of the times." replies 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt In Soup' saddly.

    Clifford clears his throat.

    "Please continue." says 'One Who Knows Much Trivia' contritely.

    "So let us examine the evidence." says the lawyer, pacing uback and forth excitedly. "RUR, a company always short on cash, pay a bundle to make a video promoting the Wee Fit among yuttos. However the accounts show no sales to yuttos, just a large number of Wee Fit consoles being written off under various promotional categories. Logically, if this video is not being used to sell the Wee to yuttos, it must serve some other purpose."

    "Like what?" asks 'One Who Knows Much Trivia'.

    "Like bait."


    /ooc
    This is not the end of this story, but I do feel I need to take a moment to thank PuppyZwolle for creating this amazing, insane video clip. He is not connected to RUR or AO but somehow Eeod managed to persuade him to make this short film for us. You can see more of PuppyZwolle work here http://nl.youtube.com/user/PuppyZwolle
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  2. #22
    (( dutchies.... hilarious with the yutto though XD ))

  3. #23
    ((Aaaaah, that clip was too funny! Actual gameplay footage! ))
    Last edited by Virta; Jan 12th, 2009 at 11:01:39.
    Engineer General Virta, Omni-Pol. Not in active service.

    Roleplaying Profile of Jimi "Virta" Hendrix

  4. #24
    ((Do I get a prize for knowing what movie Eeods post came from? Great video!))

  5. #25
    "I don't understand.. The Nanomage engineer did what?" said 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt In Soup'.
    "Erm.. He freaked out a little and went 'Rambo' " replied Mrgerrit.
    "Went Rambo.. what an unusual expression.. Does it involve singing?"
    "No, It involves going mad and heading out on a murderous rampage. Luckily it was only Eeod. He didn't get much further than Southern Fouls hills. There we tracked him. When we got him we gave him a good hose down."

    "Hose down.. all those expressions.. this language.. so much potential for new lyrics.. What does 'Hose down' mean?"
    "We made him clean again, using a water hose."
    "Ah! Outstanding."
    "He wont be such a big problem anymore, since you've already seen where the secret ingredient comes from. He is much more relaxed now."
    "We have seen? I don't understand. What do you mean? We already know what it is?"
    Mrgerrit stared at the Yuttos. "you still don't get it?"
    "It is so technical..Do we employ someone who can explain it to us?"
    "I'll ask around sir."
    "Fine. now let me find out how this Wee thing works... That'l be all."



    /OOC
    ((and the Yuttos Energy Six pack goes to... Astera! Thanks. I was afraid no-one would recognise the scene. ))
    Last edited by Eeod; Jan 15th, 2009 at 20:58:07.
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  6. #26
    Quote Originally Posted by Eeod View Post
    ((and the Yuttos Energy Six pack goes to... Astera! Thanks. I was afraid no-one would recognise the scene. ))
    ((I didn't even recognize it until I read it a second time. Woot! Yuttos energy drink!))

  7. #27
    Quote Originally Posted by Astera View Post
    (( Yuttos energy drink!))
    (( Yes, but are you sure you want to drink it? ))
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Dabblez View Post
    (( Yes, but are you sure you want to drink it? ))
    More OOC, sorry! (( No, I have weeds in the backyard that need killing and mice to poison.))

  9. #29
    "Lunch break!"

    Nikaia leans back on her chair setting her document shredder on automatic for a while.

    Opening her lunch box she grabs her bill cake maison and an ice cold Yutto Energy Drink©, Founding Glacier.

    With delight she slowly open the can and drinks slowly. She loves the flavor, and that cold feeling going down the throat. That is her twentieth drink today. In fact, she's completely addicted.
    Server first !!! Neutral Solitus Male Soldier named Boltgun to wear a short with pink spots on RK1 !!!
    N E U T R A L I Z E R S

  10. #30
    Arms crossed, leaning back in his chair, the judge regards Clifford with amusement. "You are asking me for a court order so that your clients are given access to a factory they already own. So how exactly did you think that would work, I am curious."

    Clifford mops his brow. "Your Honour, Ever since my clients-"

    "Your clients being these two yutto?" interrupts the judge.

    "Yes sir. Anyway ever since they purchased RUR my clients have expressed a keen interest in learning more about the Yuttos Energy Drink RUR produces and in particular about an ingredient listed on the label as 'yuttos juice'."

    "And what exactly is yuttos juice?"

    "That is exactly the point your Honour, we don't know and we just can't seem to get a straight answer. We asked to inspect the factory in which the Yuttos Energy Drink is made, as would be our right, but these RUR people are a slippery bunch, your honour, slippery as eels. They stalled, made excuses, quoted a bunch of bogus health and safety regulations and even made up a religious holiday in order to gain time.

    "Having run out of patience my clients fired RUR's director , Deagnor, and appointed Dabblez in his place in the hope she would prove more reasonable. She told us she would be more than happy to take us on a tour of the Yuttos Energy Drink factory but unfortunately they had just lost the keys to the place. The keys, your Honour, the keys!"

    The judge tries to suppress a grin. "Very well sir, you will have your court order. And do let me know how it goes."
    Last edited by Dabblez; Feb 5th, 2009 at 01:25:45.
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  11. #31

    In the Yuttos juice plant.

    - They're coming! they're coming! Oh no!
    - Quick! over here! through this door! You too!
    - We're so screwed! We're so screwed!
    - Shut up. Open that hatch and go down! Is everybody here?
    - Eeod! Eeod is in the cooling chamber!
    - Alright. You!
    - Yes Meester?
    - Go and get the SLAC engineer!
    - Yes sir... Meester Eeod! over heere pleese!
    - Oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my oh my. I don't wanna go to jail!
    - SHUT UP NOW! Everybody calm down. And be quiet. We are going down this hatch and from now on I dont want to hear a sound from you!
    -What about the Yuttos? The factory is stil running!
    -SHUT UP will you? What's that smell?
    - I'm sorry. I've had a bronto burger with onions earlier.
    - *sigh*.
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  12. #32
    Record from an Omni-Pol debriefing session.


    This is how it went down, sir.

    At exactly 9:00 AM on February 14th, Valentine's day, my squad accompanied the one Clifford Whittard, a lawyer, and his clients from Yuttos Invest, namely 'One Who Knows Much Trivia' and 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt In Soup' to RUR's Yuttos Energy Drink Factory in the Melting Pot, Elysium in the Shadowlands. Mr Whittard bangs on the door, waves a court order and demands to be let in but there is no response.

    At 9:10 my officers are ordered to break down the door which they do coolly and efficiently. We all enter the facility and are greeted by oppressive heat and a loud, rhythmic pounding sound which on closer inspection turns out to be a form of dance music. 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt in Soup' starts singing along.

    Inside the facility we discover 200 RUR Wee Fit stations arranged neatly in 8 rows 25 deep. On each Wee Fit station is a young yuttos, huffing and puffing as it engages in strenuous exercise. There are no RUR personnel present or bottling facilities. We begin to suspect we may have got the wrong address.

    At 9:22 on officer Powalski makes an interesting discovery regarding the air conditioning. They'd installed a RUR SLAC system (patent pending) which is designed to achieve climate control through the careful manipulation of micro-portals into the Shadowland's hotter and colder regions. The SLAC system had been customised with a massive filter attached to the parts set up to suck out the hot humid air into the Penumbra. A thick tube originates from the filter on the cooling SLAC and disappears under the floor. There is also a second SLAC unit is there to pump hot air from Inferno into the facility which might account for the heat.

    At 9:46 officer Mancini discovers a trapdoor that leads to a basement. A small group of frightened RUR employees and robots come out with their arms up in surrender.

    At 10:08 having removed the yutto fitness enthusiasts and RUR personnel from the premises, we venture into the basement. There we find a fully equipped, largely automated bottling plant. The whole basement has a pungent, acrid smell.

    At 10:22 Powalski traces the tube from the ceiling to a large vat filled with sweat extracted form the air condensation on the floor above. The vat is labelled "Yuttos Juice". Mancini drops the can of Yuttos Energy Drink he was sipping on and runs out to be sick.

    At 10:48 The forensic team arrives. My team vacates the facility and take statements from the yuttos and RUR employees. Eventually the RUR employees are released pending further investigation.


    (( OOC - The details of this report can be considered in the public domain. ))
    Last edited by Dabblez; Feb 15th, 2009 at 11:00:14.
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  13. #33
    After the dust had settled, RUR's Yuttos Energy Drink bottling plant was allowed to re-open. The judge ruled that, however disgusting, it was not technically illegal to use yuttos sweat in soft drinks as long as it was properly treated. RUR's new yuttos owners also seemed to have no objections once they established their fellow yuttos were not being harmed or coerced.

    Sales of Yuttos Energy Drink however fell by some 60%. Even so, Yuttos Energy Drink still sells significantly better than RUR.cola.

    Meanwhile, back in Rome in the office of one Clifford Whittard, attorney at law, a small celebration is in progress. Clifford uncorks a bottle of Omni Champagne and says "A toast to my two favourite clients!"

    "To Clifford's favourite clients!" joins in 'One Who Knows Much Trivia'.

    "You do of course realise I meant you and 'One Who Puts Too Much Salt In Soup'?" asks Clifford guardedly.

    "You did? Why thank you. You are our favourite keeper of human laws too."

    Clifford smiles faintly. "I guess now that you got your answers you will be looking at selling RUR back?"

    "Actually no, not yet. 'One Who Knows Much Trivia' and I have been discussing this matter. We have observed RUR in the past few months, with all scientists and engineers. We think we have new project for RUR, something rather special they can build for us.”

    “May I ask what?”

    “We wish RUR to build us a bride for Ergo.”



    The End
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

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