We are firm because we need to be. We let one person "get away" with a mistake, we have to let everyone, And at that point, whats the point of even have mods? Everyone could just claim their post was a mistake and never have to read the rules or risk a ban. Generally the standard "first ban" time is 3 days. Sometimes we feel it necessary due to the post or past bans to raise that up to and including a permanent ban from neutnet.
And also, the reason neutnet mods seem to have an attitude is when we ban someone we usually take 10 minutes of flack from the person on "how stupid we are" or "how childish we are for banning someone over something so stupid" or the like. People need to understand we are just doing our job, in the way we are told to. Our attitudes with people stem from that constant abuse that puts us in a defensive point of view when people reply to our ban.