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Thread: A little piece of jobe

  1. #1

    A little piece of jobe

    The room is dark, only lit by the light of a monitor. Destractor liked the darkness, something in his Opifex genes told him it was safer where eyes could not seen him. The glint of white metal can just be made out in the corner where the shadow of a slayerdroid could have been seen if there had been light to cast a shadow.

    A small figure dressed in a white medical overall can be made out on the screen.

    “.. so this plastic surgeon is just going to stand in our HQ and wait for business?”

    “Yes Dr Keppler, he is highly qualified”

    “But surely he has better things to do than stand around?”

    “No no, he is quite happy there”

    “He’s a doctor right? He has heal our wounds can’t he?”

    “How many times do I have to tell you, he’s a plastic surgeon he doesn’t do that type of work”

    A comms relay crackles into life.

    “Sir we have a bit of a problem”

    The military tones of the voice could only come from Field Marshal Deyo primarily in charge of alien defence of the city and town co-ordinator.

    “Sorry I’ll have to get back to you later, the guy just freaks me out” Destractor flicks off the screen and turns his attention to the relay.

    “Yes, I agree. Aliens on the planet, Unicorns leading clans, neutrals and omni alike to their dooms. I think we have a problem.”

    “No, a problem with our building work”

    Destractor sighs.

    “What is it now? We have enough land to build one of these new markets. I am pretty sure Bazzits blueprints are the same as our other buildings. How hard can it be?”

    “Well the market is built. Shops and all, but ....”

    Moving to the windows Destractor and pulls back the shutters.

    That can’t be right. A large shadow falls across the city controller. At first sight it could be mistaken for an impending alien assault but the shapes are all wrong.

    Destractor looks up. A large building is hanging in midair. No support wires. No poles or support structures, just hanging.

    “OK what did you do?”

    “I build the market as the blueprints instructed but as soon as it was built it floated up. I appears to have reached its optimum height now”

    “Even Bazzit couldn’t manage this. Did you buy all the components from his shop in Metmedere?”

    “Yes sir. Mostly. Well I got a discount on some of the bioplates from a friend of Yarkos. A well spoken meta-physicist I met on Jobe platform. They were all quality parts. Left overs from previous projects I was told.”

    Destractor bangs his head against the window.

    “OK I think we have done enough for today. It doesn’t look like it is going to float off and cause any trouble”

    A yalm soars past the window and narrowly misses the front steps to the market.

    “I’d better give RUR a call. They are used to the unusual.”

    The monitor flickers back into life as Destractor opens his contacts and start writing a letter”

    The metal from the corner of the room stirs. The monotone voice of Marvin drones out.

    “They’ll only make it worse. They always make things worse”

  2. #2
    Please FC! Get the darn thing to the ground!
    wut

  3. #3
    When we, at RUR, first were contacted regarding IR’s floating building problem, I have to say we were not very enthusiastic about the idea, it being a Friday afternoon and all. Then we heard it was a shopping mall that was floating, so armed with credit cards and other scientific apparatus Wimsy and myself, Dabblez, bravely volunteered to check it out.


    >>> PICTURES HERE <<<

    On arrival to IR’s town outside Newland City we could clearly see the shop floating above the ground. What could possibly have caused this? What forces were at work? Anti-gravity? Magnetism? Simple trickery?

    We did some preliminary investigations of the site. Soon it became clear that something fishy was going on and that maybe IR knew more about this phenomena than they were letting on.

    We’ve all heard about “Strange Attractors”, a key concept in Chaos Theory. In the case of IR’s floating shop, what we think is at work are “Strange Destractors”. This is no accident, no sir. Bear in mind Destractor is himself is a Nobel Prize Engineer, and it is well within his capabilities to have planned this floating shop all along.

    Shadehawk from RUR then pointed out something else fishy about this whole affair. Back in November the Major "Nyadach" Prabel of Idependent Rubikans commissioned RUR to create a rather special device. Allow me to quote his requirements.

    “The IR is looking in the near future to purchase a rather simple device….let us call it a sling shot perhaps with an elasticated firing mechanism. The device needs to be able to…let us say “fire” an item of, for an example here, roughly the weight and size of a tall human in armour at as high a velocity as possible. To an altitude of, as another approximation to that of one of those weird Alien mothership type things. The device doesn’t necessarily need self powering, as after some negotiations with some urmm, other people we might be able to come into the force needed to fire this device. But the construction is something we could really use some engineering experts with to help with, and as such we are opening the bidding now for any engineering companies out there Thanks you.”

    The original quite can be found here: http://forums.anarchy-online.com/sho...d.php?t=352205

    In the event RUR produced for IR the so-called SeeSaw device, a simple lever based mechanism that involved an atrox leaping onto one extremity of the SeeSaw to hurl into the air the human-projectile standing on the other edge, a device for which we still have to receive payment I may add.

    The interesting thing in retrospect is that now we can see a pattern. First they ask for a device to fling people into the air, then they just happen to end up with a floating shop. Coincidence? I think not!

    But why? Is this just a publicity stunt or is there a more sinister motive? Could this be, a Wimsy suggests, a ploy to keep out low income shoppers, those who cannot afford their own Yalmaha? And why aren’t there any women’s shoes on sale there?

    I think it is time the IR came clean about this whole affair!

    Dabblez

    Rubi-Ka Universal Robots
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  4. #4

    a possible solution

    Ya know, I could steal the teleport rings from Jobe platform to Jobe Plaza, cause it's not being used right now and install that into the IR Shop, for a fee of course

  5. #5

    Smoke and mirrors

    A small group gathered outside the Indepentent Rubikans headquarters necks craned upwards towards the floating market. The door of the market now showed the white outline of yalmaha paint where overzealous pilots had flown at it.

    A couple of Meta-Physicists circled the market like bees around a nest. Ropes dangled from each of the four corners. At the end of each rope stood teams of atrox, some standing taller than many of the trees that lined Newland lake.

    “This will never work”

    A sceptical Destractor looked on.

    “Never underestimate the power of large numbers of atrox pulling in the same direction” The large yellow clad figure of Alfatrox stroked his beard in contemplation.

    Destractor could not deny that there was going to some pulling power behind these teams even if he did question the fashion statement of a trox in a skin-tight banana coloured set of pyjamas.

    The scene looked more than a little chaotic. Engineers were tying ropes to robots, demons from the depths of some less than stable minds had been summoned and in the middle of this mini brontos still wandered pushing over bags that may have once contained food.

    “HEAVE”

    The cry shook the trees and nearby notum towers that surrounded the town.

    The market wobbled. Then slowly to Destractors disbelief it started to move. Just a few meters at first, then dropping below the tops of the trees. This is actually going to work.

    The market was now low enough for some of the larger atrox to grab hold of the lower steps.

    “Where do you want this putting then boss” The huge figure of Enforcon now had the market steps down to his waist.

    “Just down to the ground please Enfo”

    With one great heave the atrox pushed down on the steps only to find the rock crumbling through his fingers.

    The market shot up into the air sending atrox, robots and demons flying.


    A figure appeared next to Destractor out of the empty space that should have been there.

    “Plan B then?”

    “It is a clever trick a floating market. It might bring tourists to the area. It’s like some clever magic trick except this is no illusion here”

    Destractor looked at the agent.

    “You might be onto something there Ivica”



    The table was littered with strange looking prototypes and blueprints. Many confused faces surrounded the meeting area where Destractor had been explaining plan B.

    “So it will still be floating?”

    “Yes but no one will know it”

    “And how will people be able to enter this holographic market if the real market is still in the air?”

    Destractor pointed towards a model of an odd looking mechanical device.

    “But won’t the people feel themselves being catapulted into the real market?”

    “RUR did a good job with their design. With a few modifications I am confident that it will feel as easy as entering the HQ”

    Several of the confused faces looked at each other. The headquarters door had been an issue since it had been installed. Many still needed several attempts to get in.

    “It seems a shame to have the only floating market on the planet only to hide the fact that it floats”

    “yer” Destractor sighs “But it would only attract attention, and we don’t want people snooping about”

    No one makes eye contact but there is a general nodding of heads.
    Last edited by Destractor; Feb 16th, 2005 at 01:54:00.

  6. #6
    Destractor looked out of the window. Things weren’t looking good. The market still floated aimlessly above the trees, people were even starting to get used to it. Just one of those strange things like the sharks that used to make there way up into the city of Home or the mutants that had learnt to walk on water.

    Blueprints scattered the table occasionally passing through holographic models of buildings.

    With a few twists of the screwdriver another device attached itself to the desk.

    OK, lets give this one more try.

    Destractor pushed a small blue button on the device sending sparks down the table leg.

    Outside the window the flying bazaar flickered like a helium bulb about to pop.

    A pair of leets scurried away as a building slowly took form at ground level. For a moment both markets stood solid, one floating above the other until in the blink of an eye the lower market was gone again.

    There was a long fizzing sounds in the room. Fizzing sounds weren’t a good sign when they came from boxes of electronics.

    “Dang, almost had it then” Destractor exclaimed to the room as a whole.

    “No you didn’t” The metalic drone came from the corner not stopping to pause for breath.

    “And me standing here with a brain the size of a planet.”

    “Not that anyone ever asks me”

    “But don’t worry about that, I’m just a menial robot”

    Destractor checks back to the fizzing box poking is tentatively with his screwdriver.

    Well back to the drawing board.

  7. #7
    From the Bronto Burger outside Newland City, Dabblez notices IR's martket still defiantly floating in the air, even after the group of mysterious specialsts known only as "The Patch" had tried their hand at solving the problem.

    That good, old neutral stubborness had won again.
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  8. #8
    The market hung in the air the same way that bricks don’t.

    Destractor watched as Deyo carefully placed explosive charges around the inside of the airborn market.

    It was the only thing to do. All other attempts at lowering the market had failed.

    The only movement Destractor could feel inside the market was the beat drumming out as gridstream vibrated the floor through the markets sound system. He knew that on the outside it was a different matter. The market had been making ever more violent lurches in the sky as if whatever was keeping it in the air was fighting a losing battle with gravity.

    Surely these charges weren’t going to be able to destroy the market.

    Destractor added a few more explosives of his own. Better safe than sorry.



    A countdown ticked down the seconds as two figures watched the market from the steps of the Independent Rubikans headquarters.

    18

    17

    "I am using specially converted plasma based explosives today" Deyo explained to Destractor. "These things can melt a hole in juggenaught so should vaporise the market leaving no trace of it up there"

    2

    1

    Nothing happened.

    Then shards of light streamed from the windows of the market and from cracks that steadily grew from each of the corners.

    A second later the pair were almost knocked off their feet as a shockwave tore through the town triggering spherical force fields to encompass each of them.

    The headquarters shook for a second and then engulfed in a fireball that covered the entire city.

    The two shields shimmered with the effort of protecting their owners as parts of the headquarters started to fall around them.

    "Run for the whompa" shouted the soldier only to notice the blur of his colleague sprinting away in the distance.



    Outside ‘Nueters R Us’ a bartender blinked and readied her shotgun as two blackened figures appeared from a vortex and rolled across the ground in flames. This was normally the point that the pursuing aliens would charge through and ruin all her cocktails. She had complained at first about being the last line of defence against the aliens when planning permission had been granted for the whompa exit but nowadays she did not really mind. The alien parts could be put to good use once scraped off the walls. She had won a competition for her ‘special’ nibbles selection.



    Deyo and Destractor returned to the ruins of city. Little now stood other than the reinforced control tower. Scorched earth lay a path down to Newland lake that still simmered.

    "I’m not sure how that could have happened, I calculated the charges myself"

    Destractor looked up at the sky and shrugged.

    "Maybe a bad batch of explosives"

    "Well time to rebuild I guess, and lets make sure that the components for the new market are all from good suppliers"


  9. #9
    Ashes whirl in the wind. Distorted pieces of metal lay across a blackened wasteland. “What happened?” Yarko asks “The aliens developed some kind of nuclear explosive?”

    “No” Destractor replies “We brought down the market.”

    Yarko raises an eyebrow “I see… Well, it’s down allright…” He points to some grilled carcasses of what seems to have been mini-bulls and bronto’s. “I have a feeling that Desert Winds will object this little barbeque.”

    Yarko turns to Deyo “You still have those Jobe parts?”

    Deyo shakes his head. “No, R.U.R. was interested in them; Destractor gave them to Dabblez in return for shares.”

    Yarko frowns. “Hmm… I think I’ll wait a bit to get me that new vacuum-cleaner. Let’s clean up this mess.”

    “Do you have the new city design ready Deyo?” Deyo nods “Yes, the ECM will come on top of the HQ to increase its range and to save space and the...” Yarko glances up from his work “Maybe we should discuss this first…”
    Marcos "Yarko" Orender
    co-Minister of Foreign Affairs, Newland City Council
    Advisor of The Independent Rubikans

    Rubi-Ka's neutral news source: The Independent Rubikan http://www.ir-news.org/

  10. #10
    (( Hehe.. excellent. )))
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  11. #11
    Des, damm you,... the bottle I send you....

    I told you,... mix it with water .... 10 parts to 1 part of the purple stuff.

    Should not have drunk it pure.
    Oliewabie
    Entertainer and Rubi-Ka Trotter

    Feel free to visit:
    Olie's Arul Saba Store - Gems and Bracer
    Free Champagne and refreshements

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