Hide and Seek

[Lauri]

The bed wasn't made, sheets wrinkled upon themselves. The terminal on her desk was lifeless. The world outside her window was the only movement she could see. A plane would zoom past once in a while, some carrier ships floating off in the distance.

Her head ached fiercely now, and comfort soon became her immediate goal. The bedroom door shut with that familiar 'swoosh' as she moved to sit on the edge of her bed, back to the window. Reaching down, she slipped off her boots, then unbuckled her pants to squirm free of them as well. She twisted around and clumsily searched the bed sheets. Just as she expected, she found her discarded nightshirt.

Time blurred yet again as she lay there now, gazing up at the ceiling. The agent still felt strange, intoxicated... but it had been hours upon hours. She couldn't understand it no matter how much she thought on it. Then again, thinking wasn't that ideal of an activity right now. Perhaps she was just tired...

Raquel rolled over onto her side to gaze at the window. Her vision was still off, somewhat, but what she saw shocked her. The city landscape was no longer there... There was nothing but solid blackness beyond the glass. She pushed herself to sit up and just gazed at the abyss before her, her mouth agape. Blinking furiously, she tried to push it from her mind, hoping... hoping it was all just a waking dream. She even went so far as to rub her eyes roughly. Laying back down, keeping her calm, she held her eyes shut... her breath was short, she felt so nervous.

Just.. go to sleep, ignore it..

The opifex tried to convince herself... anything she could do... just... sleep. The air around her grew cold, her skin felt so tight. A dark familiarity swept over her now. Her stomach knotted up, dread setting into her heart. Fear almost overtook her as she curled up in her bed.

It... was still there.

Warm air rushed over her face, like a ghostly caress. Something wasn't right... or was it. The last few days had been both frightening and wonderful. She thought for sure, she was normal again, the cure had worked...

The dread broiling in her chest proved otherwise, as the world around her seeped back into shadows. Raquel refused to open her eyes, she refused to believe it. Suddenly, her spirit was strengthened. Something brave grew inside that dread, realisation of another kind: to be strong.

Instead of merely being a trembling mass of fear, she resolved herself.. remembered who she was. She was strong. She had survived many things... Her mind fed off the fear, the sensations, the cold, the adrenaline racing to her head. Calculating, she sought out a reason, a reason as to why... it hadn't left her. Why did it reappear now?

She snapped her eyes open, prepared to face the shadows, the dark, the fear. Only the still, empty room greeted her, however. Quickly she turned to the window once more.. and the city landscape stared back at her. Her shoulders slumped with confusion.

With a sigh, now fully awake, she scooted closer to her nightstand. With the press of a light on the front, a drawer opened. Inside lay a folder of sorts. Pulling it free from the nightstand, she sat up to open it. Inside lay a few papers. Rosters, schedules, job applications... and one other paper. Raquel thumbed her way to it and studied it, probably for the hundredth time that week.

Sighing again, she tossed the folder to the floor and rolled over to look for real sleep.

Perhaps the morning would be brighter...

[Ashval]

((I SO love your writing Sez...it's like curling up with a good book. *hugs*))

[Lauri]

The secretary narrowed her eyes slightly before thumbing through the forms. Raquel stood at her desk, quiet, studying the small holo-waterfall in the corner... crashing into its pool, and back again. She watched it for a long moment, concentrating on the sound... almost mesmerizing herself with it.

It took Raquel a few moments to realize a new sound accompanied it. She looked back to the secretary, who was now tapping at her terminal's keypad. The form had been fed into some machine, and the final steps were being taken to register the changes.

"Miss Svancara, I'm going to need you to sign this form...," she said almost smugly, pulling the paper free and setting it back on her desk, "...I've processed it to the database and all is set. You're.... sure about this?"

The woman looked up arrogantly, and Raquel nodded at her. As if she was disappointed, the secretary frowned at the opifex.

"Ma'am, if you pardon my lack of desire to converse with you about my personal business, but I have things to do and take care of today," she calmly replied finally, as she signed the paper. The secretary slipped it from the desk and fed it back into the terminal.

"That's all, take care Miss Svancara."

Soon, the agent was back into the mid-morning air of Rubi-Ka. Everything seemed to be in order. Not really much was left to do. Just preparation and a few final touches. Raquel decided a stroll was in order, now... part of those "final touches". Once again, she found herself in Omni-1, it's harsh streets glaring at her, the noisy crowds here and there. For the past 7 years, this was home. It would be strange to miss it.

She headed North-West. Even though zooming by in one's yalm was the norm, Raquel really did enjoy her walk to Rompa. It was always a kind of thinking period for her. So many times had she churned her thoughts in her mind on this path. The ships sailing overhead fed her mind with a soft chorus of hums as she opened her wrist-comm now.

The display faded into view and she tapped in a few keystrokes. Instantly, a window popped up, her personal copy of the form she had just submitted.

Form #145b
Resignation
Citizenship Alteration
Date: 05 20 29477


This is to hereby confirm my resignation from the Omni-Tek Corporation and all affiliates. I am prepared to accept all consequences and forthcoming results of my resignation. I understand that my passes and accesses to all Omni-Tek information and resources will be revoked upon completion of the processing of this form.

>While I am grateful for all the Corporation has done for me,
>I find myself at a place of decision. It has not been an easy
>decision to make, and make no mistake that I did not heavily
>weigh my choices. And so, now, I chose, for myself.

Raquel Svancara

It was done, at least... the official part was. With the tap of a key, the form faded from whence it came and was replaced by a simple transmission window. She had a packetmail waiting.. and really, it was time.

Jen,

Sis, I have to go... I regret leaving you. I wish I could take you with me sometimes. I know that's not the way, though. I'm not sure exactly what will happen now, or if I will regret my decision, but I do know that there is nothing left for me. I never told you, perhaps I will, perhaps you don't care anymore.
The Corporation was my life for a long time. I thought it was safe, untouchable. However, in the end, I've found otherwise.
Nothing I can say can make you accept it, or like it. I know that. It has weighed heavily on my heart, and for once in a long time, I've chosen to do something... for me.
Don't believe I've become hateful or unappreciative of what Omni-Tek has given me. I do appreciate it... and will be torn for a time. However, unlike many sometimes do, I shall always look to you as the loving sister I always wanted... as a person.

Raq

She closed her eyes and pressed a light on her keypad. The packetmail zoomed from view, and confirmation it had been sent appeared. Raquel found she had completely stopped at some point on her trip to Rompa. She continued on, determined to have one last cup of tea or perhaps coffee.

It would be a while before she returned...

[_______________Bliqz]

Bliqz stands motionlesly in a secluded corner where he silently watches Sezmra.

"I have seen that look on many faces lately," He thought to himself.

"But seldom has it seemed so tragic."

Bliqz thought a moment about the few clanners whose faces he hoped never to see at the end of his rifle barrel...Hers now toped that list.

[Demenzia]

It was another night on Rubi-Ka, another of these nights that seem way too long, endless, full of shadows and broken memories. It was another dark, lonely night, and in the deep, complete silence, Jen was crying.

On the Grid display over her desk, the message was still on, its faint glow the only source of light in the room now, each of its words having bored a new hole in her soul, deeper, always deeper. The old feeling was back - the feeling of being deprived of all she had, all she was, of being denied, once again, the right to a life that would have been filled with something else than pain and solitude. Jen had seen them go, all her friends, one after the other, remaining standing on the ship as it had been sinking, eyes fixed upon the horizon while repeating to herself that life was going on, that she would survive, as she had always done, that it wasn't the first nor the last hard blow of fate she was enduring. Yet one could only be that strong... one could only endure to a certain extent.

And Jen was crying...

She had watched her whole department go, and still managed to strengthen her resolve. She had seen friends and comrades leave the field to join the rebels, and had simply sighed, knowing that it would be hard to face them from the other side of the barrel of her gun, this time. She had wondered how many of them she would stand to see go this way, or simply leaving the planet never to come back, their departures or defections being each time another wound that would never really stop bleeding. But she had resisted. She had gathered her strength, every time, to face her future again. And then... then... the rest of her life had crumbled, the part she wasn't able to reconstruct alone, the part where she had allowed herself to hope for happiness, the part where Malcom was smiling to her, where he wasn't condemned to a certain and terrible death, the one where she would one day be a married woman... the one where she had the right to the better existence she had never really dared to hope about.

And Jen was crying...

When Heiji had told her... told her that no matter what, the Soldier would die without both their cooperation... she had been so mad at him, not exactly because of the raw truth, but for having spoken out loud what she refused to see, to admit to herself. He had hopes, though. Hopes that everything would go well in the end, even if they had to walk a path none of them wanted to tread. But Malcom... was gone again. Without a word, without a note, without letting her know. Gone, and she had woken up one morning to find herself alone, once again. Gone, and the absence had lasted for long days, days turning into weeks. Gone, and unreachable on comm, even through her Fixer ways, even using the most twisted methods she could have come up with. His presence was still so strong... his warm voice, the quirks of his accent, the way he had to take her between his arms, the way he used to smile at her and tell her how beautiful she was... She didn't even know if he was still alive, she wasn't even able to join him, to find him, to bring him back. Not this time. She had managed not to cry too much, in the beginning; but the more the days passed, the deeper her sadness... the stronger the pain. He would never come back.

And Jen was crying...

She thought she had found a family, at last. A family that would love her, that she could love in turn, without fearing being beaten and treated like an intruder, without fearing being rejected. Friends, companions, brothers... sisters. Raquel's message simply was the last drop, after all of these blows, week after week. It had been hard to swallow Corrine's defection, a few months ago. But Raquel's... Raquel, always so right, so convinced of what she was doing, always so strong, Raquel she admired so much, Raquel compared to whom she was considering herself so weak... Raquel. The one she had really considered as a sister, the one she would have wanted for a sister if they had been born from the same blood. Something had gone wrong, terribly wrong, something she had been able to feel, but not to understand. And she was wondering. How could things have gone so wrong? What had happened... what had been on Raquel's mind, why hadn't she, Jen, been able to understand in time? Why hadn't she pressed her 'sis', why hadn't she forced her to tell her what was troubling her so much, not only SPARTA, not only their general dark mood, but also what she had seemingly been hiding? Why... why... so many why's...

She suddenly became aware of a scream - a long, long scream, actually sounding more like a wail, sounding odd to her ears, sounding oddly... close. The scream was her own, the wail was her own, as she was lying on the couch, half-collapsed, having diven her nails so deeply in the fabric that she was almost tearing it, slowly, so slowly, in another echo to her pain. She was barely aware, also, of Heiji's presence, of ghostly arms keeping her in a noneless ghostly embrace, and for a moment, she absently wondered who was this presence... who was this broken woman howling in madness over this new loss. Then she remembered, she remembered who she was, what she had read, her feelings, her loneliness, and she wished she had never remembered.

He was whispering to her ear, soothing words she wasn't even able to understand, yet in her heart of hearts, she could feel his pain too... his anger, but most of all his sadness. Raquel was one of the few, few people he hadn't despised, hated or considered an obstacle between him and Jen. And her pain was hurting him, too... so deeply that she vaguely wondered, again, why he wasn't crying too. Without even being aware of what she was doing, she simply curled up in a ball on the couch, biting her lip in an attempt at stiffling her wails, wishing that it was but another nightmare, that the morning would come soon, that upon waking up she would find Raquel again, and her friends, and SPARTA, and her world as she had known it, as she had learnt to love it...

...A nightmare. A nightmare that was only too real, one she would never wake up from. She had hoped, for a brief second, upon receiving her sis' message - hoped that she would still have the time to call her, hoped that it wasn't too late. Yet the forms had already been processed, the ID profile already updated on the citizen database. Too late... too late to talk to her. She hadn't understood - she still wasn't understanding her reasons. Her sis had always been so loyal... so hard-working... what was she hinting at in her message? That she had been forced to behave this way, during all these months, all these years? She never had let anything like this appear, never... never...

But there was this only fact. Raquel was gone too now, and the next time they'd meet, they would be... enemies.

Jen let out another long sob. It couldn't be. She couldn't consider her this way, even though she didn't understand Raquel's decision. She couldn't stand the idea of not seeing her sis, of not being able to talk to her every day, of not being able, even, to simply meet her in the open, in Rompa's where they used to go, in Rome where she had her apartment... had had, rather, for the Agent wouldn't stay there anymore now... Nothing would ever be the same again.

Jen wished she could understand. Jen wished she hadn't been so blind, that she had seen earlier on how wrong circumstances had gone, that she had been a better friend, that her own despair hadn't made her take refuge into herself, causing her to be so oblivious to what was happening around.

Jen wished she could talk to Raquel... even if a last time only... to tell her that no matter what, she would still love her...

[Lauri]

(( Jeeeeeen, no fair! *cries and bawls!!!* lol Great addition, as usual. /me runs off to find a box of tissues!))

[Demenzia]

((Heyaa... Suh-weeeet revenge sissy *winks*
And you're now guilty of having me gotten to write another post from *work*
*goes back crying in her corner*))

[Lauri]

Something tugged at her gut, pulling her deeper and deeper. She wasn't falling anymore, it was more like drifting, now. There was both dread and solace in that fact. Should she be thankful, or horrified?

For now, she was both. The agent had prepared herself to for expectations. While some came to be "correct", one strayed from the path. It had become a kind of allergy; coming and going in no real pattern at all. A dark visitor in her dreams, a waking nightmare just waiting to overtake her, or an odd itch on the surface of her soul. It hadn't become insatiable yet, but each time, it teetered closer and closer.

Only a matter of time...

The shadows crept about the corners of the building, under the tree, and across the grass. The suns were peeping from the morning clouds, threatening to bathe her face in sunshine. Shadows continued to flee, swirling about the structures of Old Athen in hopes to find shelter from the light. Black tendrils licked at the ground, as they retreated.

As the agent stirred from her sleep, propped against the tree comfortably, images danced through her head. Silhouettes of a young woman, a solitus, an Employee phased in and out of her dreamlike vision. Her pale, empty expression, those eyes... that could almost pierce right through her with sadness. More visions came, of a solitus man, long dark hair... and the lovely woman often by his side. She stirred even more, restless now, the figures and memories nearly assaulting her.

Soon, the sunlight played on her boots, the hem of her combat suit... the tree shaded most of the light from her face, but still she violently shook from her sleep. The agent awoke to a new morning, her skin feeling tight around her opifex form. Looking up she studied the sky, it was the usual blue, the twin suns gracing it as they always did.

Stretching, she sat up, straightening her posture against the tree. She felt rested, despite her haunting dreams. The young woman rubbed her face sleepily and a metallic taste played across her tongue. Her brow furrowed, she reached to her lip with her fingertips.

Blood...

She had bitten herself in her sleep... hard. A bit of blood had trickled down the corner of her mouth. Raquel stifled a loud gasp, her face worried. All she could do was fumble for some kind of cloth in her nearby bag. Hurriedly she wiped at her mouth, wincing as her tongue found the deep ... puncture wound in her lip.

The shadows merely mocked her from their hiding places... quiet... forever stalking.