Setting the Records Straight; Doncarnage - The Truth

[____________Bonefish]

As disappointing as it may be for some people, least not the lad himself, I am not the father of that ugly 'lil retard sk8rboi, Don "Doncarnage" Matusz.

To my mind, it should be obvious from our vastly differing intellect that we do not share the same genetic heritage. That, and Avril Lavigne never wrote a song about meh.

Doncarnage, is someone else's illegitimate bastard son.

Similarly, whilst I know she wishes it were otherwise, I cannot continue this farce alleging that some kind of Gigeresque sexual union took place between myself and Angel "Thyme" Lathangel.

I've done some pretty kinky things in my time, but bestiality isn't one of them. Sorry Thyme. woof

Besides, who am I fooling? How can I realistically hope to compete with The Legend: General Millard "Gencop" Fahrni?


Considering Don has an unquenchable desire to hump everything from people's legs to pieces of furniture, perhaps the parental inquisition should look toward more obvious father figures. *cough*above*cough*


Security is everyone's concern.


Omni-Tek protects.


Garret "Bonefish" Silvestrini
Director - SPARTA
Chairman of the Omni-Tek Security Council

Founding Member of the Omni-Tek Security Council (OTSEC)

The Omni-Tek Security Council is dedicated to ensuring the company’s security and interests against all threats, coordinating any action deemed necessary to protect corporate assets and personnel.

garret.silvestrini@ot-sparta.org | www.ot-sparta.org

[Jynne]

Originally posted by Bonefish
Considering Don has an unquenchable desire to hump everything from people's legs to pieces of furniture, perhaps the parental inquisition should look toward more obvious father figures. *cough*above*cough*

You mean...

...

...

Doncarnage is the secret love child of TheDeacon's pet, Metaphysical Demon?

[Vixentrox]

Jynne....your a doc....should be easy to collect a few hair or saliva samples to determine paternity. TheDeacon (or his pets) I would discount. More than foot worship is required to produce pregnancy!

[Jynne]

Actually the easy tests require blood...

But I have it on good authority that furniture-humping is an inherited trait, so it seems logical that Don has a pet of some sort in his ancestry... considering that robots can't have children...

It must be a Metaphysical Demon

[Vixentrox]

Maybe it was an adventurer in doggy form?

[Nevver]

Originally posted by Bonefish
To my mind, it should be obvious from our vastly differing intellect that we do not share the same genetic heritage.

Considering Don has an unquenchable desire to hump everything from people's legs to pieces of furniture, perhaps the parental inquisition should look toward more obvious father figures.

Pffft! If you ask me, you both think with the same parts of your bodies which is more than enough proof for me.

[Thyme]

There you stated it..... Page 3 8th post down to save time

"Being Doncarnage's father is unfortunately my concern. "You know it to be true..."

I can only wonder if Bone has taken the crack pipe and started sucking it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Similarly, whilst I know she wishes it were otherwise, I cannot continue this farce alleging that some kind of Gigeresque sexual union took place between myself and Angel "Thyme" Lathangel. "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't recall ever wanting to couple with a short, bald ,old man that doesnt know his as$ from his shotgun barrel.( not even if you huff puff and blow will -(Edited] )

But then I did do alot of drugs in my youth Shat happens when your passed out an unaware. That's what your mom says anyway.. Prolly explains alot of your behavior, huh teeny?

Besides that.. "darlin," no one on RK assumes your pea shooter works or can reach anything more than those little sea monkeys I keep in a tank.

Good day to you lil bitty pantie man.

[Vixentrox]

That just makes them male does it not? Or where you refering to something else?

[Tax]

Pffft! If you ask me, you both think with the same part of your body which is more than enough proof for me.


Thier toes?

[_________Don Carnage]

*looks down* what's that toes? Kill daddy? Whatever you say toesies. *takes his favorite assault rifle off the wall and begins to clean it while humming show tunes*

[Nevver]

Nevver sneaks behind Don, kneels down by his feet and whispers.
Kill daddy! Kill daddy!

[Blackpetal]

Originally posted by Bonefish
As disappointing as it may be for some people, least not the lad himself, I am not the father of that ugly 'lil retard sk8rboi, Don "Doncarnage" Matusz.

As disappointed as I am to see Mr. Silvestrini's continued efforts to dodge his responsibilities, I can't say I'm surprised. This is a pattern of behavior for Mr. Silvestrini, and it is because of this pattern that we have been forced to the courts to settle a matter that should have been resolved as a private issue between the two parents.


Racheal Schuemann, Attorney-at-Law

Schuemann and Associates.

Currently employed under non-exclusive retainer by Devil's Advocate

[Jayda]

Lupoh looks at Doncarnage, then looks at Bonefish....
Lupoh says: Holy #%$&!, they look so much alike!
Lupoh coughs

Poor Don, growing up without an appropriate father figure, now ya see what a life of crime he has turned to? Should the father be held accountable for the actions of the son? I think so. Mwa ha!

So much hostility on the boards lately...

Keep up the good work people! I'm lovin every second of it.

Corruption is everyone's concern.
...
...
...
...
Ok
So corruption is actually only my concern. Hell, its more of a hobby then my career.

[EDIT]
Corruption is MY concern.

[___MetaphysicalDemon]

I SHALL NAME HIM MINIPHYSICAL DEMON. RAAWR.

[_______________Cayll]

/me laughs.

hahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahhahahahahahahhahahah ahhahahahhaahhahaahahahaahahhahahhahahahahahahahah ahahahhaahhahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaahhaha ahahahaahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahhaha hahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaahhahaahahahaahahhahahh ahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahhahahahahahahhahahaha hhahahahhaahhahaahahahaahahhahahhahahahahahahahaha hahahhaahhahhahahahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaahhahaa hahahaahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhaahhahhahah ahahahahhahahahahhahahahhaahhahaahahahaahahhahahah ahhahahhahahahahhaha.

Woof...hahahahaha


/me regains his composure.

Cayll

[Lyricia]

Originally posted by Jynne
considering that robots can't have children...

*ahem* Where do you think all those little green mechanical footstools that wander Athen and Omni-1 come from?

[____________Bonefish]

Originally posted by Thyme
There you stated it..... Page 3 8th post down to save time

"Being Doncarnage's father is unfortunately my concern. "You know it to be true..."

I can only wonder if Bone has taken the crack pipe and started sucking it?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
"Similarly, whilst I know she wishes it were otherwise, I cannot continue this farce alleging that some kind of Gigeresque sexual union took place between myself and Angel "Thyme" Lathangel. "
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't recall ever wanting to couple with a short, bald ,old man that doesnt know his as$ from his shotgun barrel.( not even if you huff puff and blow will -(Edited] )

But then I did do alot of drugs in my youth Shat happens when your passed out an unaware. That's what your mom says anyway.. Prolly explains alot of your behavior, huh teeny?

Besides that.. "darlin," no one on RK assumes your pea shooter works or can reach anything more than those little sea monkeys I keep in a tank.

Good day to you lil bitty pantie man.

Thyme! Down girl! Down!

Bad doggy!

Don't make me kick you out in the yard again!


Controlling uncontrollable dogs is everyone's concern.


Omni-Tek protects.


Garret "Bonefish" Silvestrini
Director - SPARTA
Chairman of the Omni-Tek Security Council

Founding Member of the Omni-Tek Security Council (OTSEC)

The Omni-Tek Security Council is dedicated to ensuring the company’s security and interests against all threats, coordinating any action deemed necessary to protect corporate assets and personnel.

garret.silvestrini@ot-sparta.org | www.ot-sparta.org

[Dabblez]

"...considering that robots can't have children... "

There is nothing really a RUR robot can't do..theortically...
well given enough budget to develop it properly.. and time... time to test the damn before shipping it out.. oh well.. the point is..
it can be done.


Dabblez

[Thyme]

Bonefish,
Ya know I could attack your manhood all day but I fear Templus has more testosterone in her earlobe than you have thru out your entire.. "Bone". Perhaps you can work out a deal to aquire what she straps back. She seems to want to loose it.. and well your in desperate need of it.


Less than a mouthful, not even a nibble.. cant call it a morsel, lets say crumb.. And that's giving inches.

[tristalyn]

Tristalyn pounces Thyme with huge hugs!

I tell ya what. If he wants to deny his responsibilities and then throw insulting hateful chatter at you, let him. All he's doing is giving more proof as to his similarties with Don. Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself .. Just wait til he at least gets it around his neck, THEN kick the footstool.