Open Letter to a Jackhole

[______________Fenris]

I recieved a report that I have been reported to moderators for a thread titled "Where can *I* find GA 1-4?". I was reported for a link to an E-bay search for Grid Armor in my signature that has been there since the fixer "love" patch. This cowardly heap of monkey dung who obviously has the IQ and humor of a doorknob didn't understand the joke. Well Mr. Sassypants let me explain to you what happened since your infantile mind cannot grasp the bricklike subtlety that I used in that humorous post.

The answer to the riddle, and you should ponder this for a moment so that your malted-hops and bong-resin clogged grey matter will have time to soak it up much like it soaks up the gallons of cheap beer is this, "IN MY INVENTORY." You see that was my anouncement to the Fixer community that my search is over, I have purchased through the hard work and determination of my friends and myself, the final Grid Armor. Think about it. Let it soak in. You should probably spit the gum out I wouldnt want you to suffocate while trying to think and chew your cud at the same time.

The Signature which is at the bottom of this, and every other post I have made was in response to the parade of stupid questions from viewers like you that insisted on making a post every .45 hours asking, "Where can I get grid armor?" It is a joke that most people who are above their second year of education can grasp.

People like you make me wish there was a moderator for life so that we could ban you from it for your abject stupidity. Please do the world a favor and earn a Darwin Award. If you would like some assistance from someone with a frontal lobe then please feel free to PM me so that I can give you some ideas on how to improve the gene pool by removing yourself from it. I pity your mother, I wager that she cries a great deal at squeezing your misshapen head so much during your birth. I would also wager that the public toilet where it was held has been torn down to avoid the infamy of not falling upon you at your first gurgling gasp of the precious air that you continue to waste even today. Please respond to this post, PM me, or send me a tell in-game so that I can know exactly who's name I should look out for on the Darwin Awards page. Have a nice and short life you B****-A** punk.

With Vitriol
Fenris

[Seraphael]

Wasn't me. I swear!

[Randome]

Wasn't me either, but you need to get over yr oh-so-superior attitude regarding bong hits and alcohol. You choose to abstain, fine. Please do. But just because imbeciles choose to imbibe that does NOT mean that we are all like that. I am a daily smoker and manage to hold down a highly ranked IT position and keep a very nice home and car. And find time for AO. And even...believe it or not...conduct myself in an adult fashion. So please, address someone's actions if necessary, but leave the holier than thou rhetoric alone and relax. Maybe you could use a bong hit yrself.

[_________Neurofreeze]

Originally posted by Scann
*Edited*
Deleted, dont have time for this.

There IS a delete-post option now.

[______________Fenris]

LOL I know lots of jerks that do not drink or schmoke either. Nah I am all for people doing whatever they want to themselves. I do imbibe and would never admit to doing anything else ever. LOL Im not holier than thou about that trust me...it would be hypocritical. I was implying that he must have done it too much and destroyed the already limited thinking capacity he/she may or may not have ever possessed. Hmmm scann starts to chip in and then chips right back out...hmmm I wonder? *grin* Im not really mad guys but I havent seen a proper old school flame in here for quite a while so...heheh.

[Yyerinfahr]

Geesh Amn, thats giving Tek a run for his money.... that is well scathingly beautiful.

[_____________biggfoo]

Damm my plan to get Fenris has failed.

[_______________Scaan]

Thanks Neuro, didn't see that

[______________Fenris]

P.S. Please don't breed.


BAH I can't believe that I forgot that, a near perfect torching ruined by the missing line...grumble.

/me stomps off angrily

[________________Wigz]

finally a "smart" one caught on Fenris... sorry to see ya pay the price.

[Odoratus]

Can i have your stuff ?

[Gene13]

/applause

/G13

[_______________Hydeo]

It was Streax!!!

[_______________Scaan]

Hmmm scann starts to chip in and then chips right back out...hmmm I wonder? *grin*

Hehe, yeah wanted to write about flowers and birds and stuff, but I was at work and one of my Win2k servers just went down :P

[locomdenom]

Go Am Go!

Heh. I had a nice flame in the Next Patch forum. Does the heart and mind good, it does.

[Torg]

...that has got to be the best flame I've ever read

you just brought a tear to my eye, you're my new hero!

*applauds*


fenris, will you train me? I will call you master!

[MissMaul]

That w-was...beautiful...

*sniffle*

[Rubirango]

WHERE CAN I FIND GA4 PLZ?!!!111!!!!1!!!!!!11!!1!11

[___________Futterman]

It's unfortunate that someone would have such an obscenely poor sense of humor as to report a guy for making a joke like the Ebay reference in Fenris' signature. However, given the state of intelligence on the internet (which I generally refer to as "a vast wasteland," with due respect to Newton Minnow), I'm not entirely that shocked.

The fact is, people have no sense of humor on the internet, which is due largely to the fact that sarcasm doesn't travel well over a digital medium. Actually, sarcasm travels across such a medium as well as over a telephone, but one has to have a certain skill for detecting it as abject sarcasm rather than truth. Personally, I think the Ebay reference in Fenris' signature is rather clever due to the fact that there is a certain rust-colored ring of truth to it. Ergo, when So-And-So read that he'd have to either buy it for real-world cash or for several million credits, he probably wigged out and blamed the messenger; in this case, Fenris.

You know, sure, it's unfortunate that you can't go out and kill the mythical Phantom Leet and get a GA4 instruction disc. It's too bad that a lot of us will never use Grid Armor at all. And it's even too bad that your alt doesn't have enough credits or intelligence to be able to twink your other Level 1 alt into GA4. It's a horrible, horrible world, I know. But if you're too stupid to realize that the Ebay reference is a bit of a joke, and feel the overwhelming need to be the third person of the day to open up a new thread asking, "Where can I find Grid Armor?!" without consulting this simple link first, then I have no idea how you get through your day without having to have someone remind you to breathe periodically.

I've been looking for proof that Darwin was wrong, and that maybe mankind is indeed going back to the ocean from whence his ancestors came. I do believe that whoever reported Fenris may be the proof I need to refute Darwin and prove my own theory of devolution. Thank you.