This is a short that I wrote in 2007.

I found it on an old external HDD so I figured I'd share.

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The shuttle lands before what remains of the huge Omni-Trans Cargo Transport. Trousers and Cylie walk among the smoldering rubble and scattered bodies.

Trousers: It looks like Clansmen did this, all right. Look, here are Goat Helmets, Artiliary tracks. It's just...I never heard of them hitting anything this close to Omni-1 before.

Cylie is crouching in the dirt studying the tracks.

Cylie: They didn't. But we are meant to think they did. These tracks are side by side. Clansmen always ride single file to hide their numbers.

Trousers: This is the same shuttle that usually delivers my suits....

Cylie: And these blast points, too accurate for Clansmen. Only L.O.L. stormtroopers are so precise.

Trousers: Why would L.O.L. troops want to down an Omni-Trans shuttle?

Trousers looks back at the private shuttle and then at Cylie's Uniform and puts two and two together.

Trousers: If they traced the Suits here, they may have learned who they sell them to. And that would lead them to the HQ!

Trousers reaches a sudden horrible realization, then races for the shuttle and jumps into it.

Cylie: Wait, Sotto! It's too dangerous.

The shuttle takes off leaving Cylie alone with the burning Shuttle.

* * *

Michelle yelling from down the hall: He~~lp!

Sotto runs down the hallway to find Michelle trapped against a wall and an irate little leet with a mini-rocket launcher strapped to its back eating a hole in an Omni-Trans Cloak in the middle of the room

Sotto: Michelle!

Michelle: Sir! Be careful, it has a rocket pack, thing

The leet looks up, bits of cloth hanging from its mouth

pwnsjoo: 0_0

Michelle: What did it say?

pwnsjoo: 0_0

Michelle looks at Sotto as he shrugs slightly

pwnsjoo: Pants!

Sotto: I really hate it when people or things call me that, my name is..

Sotto realizes the leet is literally staring at his pants

pwnsjoo: Pants!

The little leet begins to charge at Sotto

Michelle: Sir, watch out!

Sotto takes a step back to measure up the situation before kicking the rodent in the chest sending him flying across the room and landing on the half eaten cloak

pwnsjoo: OOOOooooo...... n0w u di3!

pwnsjoo: >_<

The little leet squints his eyes as smoke begins to come out of the back of his missile launcher. Sotto and Michelle both squint their eyes also expecting this to be their last moments before the explosion. Five seconds that seem like an eternity pass before Michelle sniffs twice and opens her eyes.

Michelle: Oh my God, eww.

Sotto: What?

Michelle: It pooped on the carpet.

pwnsjoo: Pwnt!

slowly walking across the room Sotto picks up the little leet and holds it in front of his face meeting it eye to eye

Sotto: You're a messed up little leet.

pwnsjoo: A/S/L?

Sotto walks over to the nearest window and chucks the leet outside. Pwnsjoo's missile launcher final engages which turns out to be a jetpack and wisks him away, back to the Legion of Leet's secret headquarters to fight another day