[RK1] OTPC Freelance: Mythical substance in the hands of clan scientists

[Editor: OTPC]

Mythical substance in the hands of clan scientists
July 8, 29485 - Lise Everwhite [Atlantean]

OTPC - Clan scientists have gotten their hand on a mystical substance that they suspect might be one of Omni-Tek's biggest secrets.

After analysing it, they reached the conclusion that it does not resemble anything they had ever seen before.
Further studies showed that the substance reacted with water and one of the scientist remarked that his lab-coat changed colour from grey to white when he accidentally spilled some on it.

- It is speculated that it might be what Omni-Tek refer to as "soap" but we must do further testing. One of the scientists said.
- If it is "soap", we will be a little closer to understand Omni-Teks superiority.
There are rumours that the terrorist organization Council of Truth also has high hopes for this mystical substance.

[B-Raan]

Victory to the Clans! Let this be yet another tool we can use to overthrow the Omni scum!

[nanoforcer]

If it is indeed soap i understand why it's unknown to the filthy clams, goes without saying really

[StanimirB]

Oh Jeeze.

*vainly tries to not fall out of his chair laughing*

Sad thing is there are stupid omni out there who really think this is news, or accurate!

Was good for a chuckle though.

[Towerblock]

Months of silence, and this is the best thing you could come up with?

Ditto that, Stan. Any omni folks think this is true, I have some prime real estate to sell you in Belial "Forest".

Just dont drink the water.

[Namiru]

Someone over at OTPC is a bit snarky at the moment, methinks.

[Towerblock]

Or a sewer main of journalism broke.

[playboyfixer]

i think ChitChat's hit the nail on the spot compared to this rubbish.... so it shows where the truth lies, and it isn't here...

[Nobody]

I wouldn't be surprised if this is true. Judging by a lot of these airheads I'm sure it is.

[Kotts]

This reminds me of a kid I knew in primary. Every time he got in a fight he kept leading off with the same yo-mamma joke... seriously get some new corporate approved slander.

((<3 ))

[Towerblock]

I wouldn't be surprised if this is true. Judging by a lot of these airheads I'm sure it is.

I used plenty of soap the day we cleaned up your body from the streets of Tir. We had to get the smell out.

Fun times.

[Namiru]

So you're telling me dropping the body in that toxic sludge you call a canal improved the smell? Wow. Glad I live in Newland.

[Towerblock]

I am going to say I didn't tell you anything like that at all.

[Zeephonz]

Glad I live in Newland.

Really?

There used to be a lake outside your little village, until your leaders sold it out for perceived potential gains to village trade in the expectation you'd fix your broke-ass economy.

Now you have a steel phallic monstrosity spilling it's outflows into the lake and peddling it's wares like an Omni-Entertainment 2-cred hooker (for Omni folk that's upper-class), and you still have a village economy that matches your surroundings... barren.

*thumbs up*

[Namiru]

Hey, you "reservation" us into the middle of a desert filled with nothing but sand dunes and cyborgs, you gotta find a way to eat, somehow.

[Towerblock]

Really? I don't recall Zeephonz's name on any the Newland land contract. Coincidentally, Newland has been around longer then all of us have been alive.

You bastard, are you breaking into the real estate biz?

[Falikos]

While there are a few who might need their mouths washed out on both sides... it seems to me we all make liberal use of indoor plumbing and antiseptics.

How does some satire regarding soap end up in a shoving match about Newland? If you boys want to sling mud take it down to While It Lasts and climb in the ring -- I'll bring the singles. *smirks*

[Zeephonz]

Yes camp mother *rolls eyes*

[Falikos]

If a bunch of men in a mud-ring wrestling sounds motherly to you... clearly you're doing it wrong. *laughs*

[Agentcora]

Now you have a steel phallic monstrosity spilling it's outflows into the lake and peddling it's wares like an Omni-Entertainment 2-cred hooker (for Omni folk that's upper-class).

You forget all Omni employees are happy, any that aren't quickly have their clearly false thoughts corrected through professional therapy. The root of that happiness doesn't matter. The happier the employee the less likely they are to break the law - makes me a happy leet!

With the regards to the article - brilliant. It has inspired me to begin writing articles again!