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Thread: ChitChat Magazine

  1. #21
    If you happen to discover where ChitChat is located, *kicks can of petrol*, let me know.
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  2. #22

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #012

    Freedom of Speech
    by Ty P. Writer

    Hello once again faithful readers, and thanks to you all for continuously subscribing to our gridfeeds / buying our magazines! You're all a living example of well-educated readers.

    I am happy to announce that recently we got 2 new additions to our reporting staff, and 2 omnis in somewhat special places on top of that! Curious yet? Bet you are!

    They're none less than General "Feyad" Rahal, a general of omni-pol, and Havegun "Gunfytr" Willtravel, leader of the Pathfinders (whom you probably know well from earlier editions of ChitChat magazines!). They promised to inform us all on the latest updates both in Omni-Tek, and their own surroundings, so keep buying chitchat magazines to find the juiciest 100% truthful news of your most / least favorite faction!

    Do you want to join our glorious reporting team? Just contact a chitchat reporter, or one of our many office branches close to you!

    Sponsor message: yutto cola, no sweat!

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  3. #23

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #013

    Contamination Alert!
    by Miss Demeanor

    Grave news has reached our offices from clan-side, as it seems that since yesterday a deadly virus has struck Old Athens, originating from around the Old Athens Grid Terminal.

    The deadly virus first infected 2 attacking enforcers, who died instantaniously at the same time. Shortly after it appears others nearby started dying too, among with a clan trader citizen. But to make things worse, it seemed to spread as people further from the grid terminal started dying too, mainly around insurance points, or other technological machines such as mail terminals, bank terminals, insurance points, grid accesses, ... .

    It seems the Vanguards have been trying hard to cover the whole deal up, as the Vanguard Watchers told me I better forget I saw anything, nor even think about talking of this whole event. Meanwhile speculations have been flying around all over the clan cities, even as far as with the Avalon citizens and employees, ranging from it being a harmless virus that caught some people with decreased immunity way up to an omni-tek plot to wipe the clans, and neutrals after that, out by turning the technology they placed when they landed here against the current owners! When interviewing a high-regarded clan citizen, Playboyfixer, he told us:

    I wouldn't be surprised if Omni-Tek got anything to do with it, I've already eavesdropped on conversations for the Agency that shows Omni-Tek's trying out mutagenic viruses on their prisoners to find a deadly toxin to kill off whoever they like. And with the current economic situations as they are, Omni-Tek must be getting desperate.

    There you have it thus dear readers, it seems to stack up that omni-tek is up to no good again, at the expense of harmless, innocent civilians. There has been no official response thus far to what the Clans will do against this, nor from Jacobi himself or the Council of Truth, but I'm sure the free Clans are shouting for retaliation!

    Will the Council of Truth rally the clans into retaliating? Will Jacobi invest his hoarded fortunes into better defenses for the city? Will there be more viral outbreaks in clan cities? Read it all in ChitChat magazines! Now also available in your local hospital.

    Sponsor message: Krutt Arms Inc. - The best bang for your buck, the best slam for your f.... eh... buck!

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  4. #24
    Quote Originally Posted by playboyfixer View Post
    Freedom of Speech
    by Ty P. Writer

    Hello once again faithful readers, and thanks to you all for continuously subscribing to our gridfeeds / buying our magazines! You're all a living example of well-educated readers.

    I am happy to announce that recently we got 2 new additions to our reporting staff, and 2 omnis in somewhat special places on top of that! Curious yet? Bet you are!

    They're none less than General "Feyad" Rahal, a general of omni-pol, and Havegun "Gunfytr" Willtravel, leader of the Pathfinders (whom you probably know well from earlier editions of ChitChat magazines!)
    Contrary to the announcement made by this spurious cheap scandal rag, I AM NOT, NOR HAVE I EVER BEEN a member of this organization. Corporate Lawyers from Omni-Pol Litigation Division will be approaching this organization with a "Cease and Desist" order or face a lawsuit for slander.

    General "Feyad" Rahl
    Field Ops Commander
    Omni-Pol
    Alexsi "Nadab" Stefanovich

    Corporal Officer, Omni-Pol Field Ops
    (Atlantean)

    formerly
    T-Sgt1C, Omni-AF, 4th Fusiliers RST, Retired.

    If I'm the Agent of Shai-hulud, where's my 10% ?
    Roleplaying Profile of Alexsi "Nadab" Stefanovich

  5. #25
    *yawn*
    Yeah, what he said. However, I will say that as of now, I am offering a reward of 100 million credz for information leading up to the location of ChitChat offices AND the people behind it.

    And, yes, when I find the offices and the people running ChitChat, they will no longer be an annoyance. Take that as you will.

    Major Gunfytr
    Pathfinder Detatchment
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  6. #26
    Actually I wish you luck in your endeavor Major Gunyftr.

    The level of imagination behind some of these stories would be amusing, were it not for some people who actually take these stories as truth. In fact to date the only thing I can say about this magazine is, if is published in Chit-Chat, you can make a pretty solid bet that it is NOT accurate.
    Alan Jacobi
    Clan Vanguard

  7. #27
    Uh? Sure they have some miscommunication here and there, but most of it is accurate.
    Among other things I heard that a girl that work in the same town as a girl that used to babysit Mr. Wright's Leet. And she said that she had heard from her neighbour that someone saw Gunyftr and Lawpuppy in the same shop on valentine day. So that part must be true. One error here and there dosent make everything wrong, does it?
    RK1 - Atlantean
    Lise "Gimpeline" Everwhite - Omni - Level 220/30/70 Martial artist
    Rudolph "Nissemann" Juhl - Omni- Level 220/30/70 Engineer
    Omni-Mining
    Mary "Gimpa" Wormwood 2xx/30/xx Advy R.U.R
    Josephine "Gimpyposer" Dredd 21x/30/70 mp Omni-Pol
    Jarwar 2xx/30/xx Crat Wanderers Sanctuary
    Proud member of Leet Protection Agency

  8. #28
    Quote Originally Posted by Gimpeline View Post
    And she said that she had heard from her neighbour that someone saw Gunyftr and Lawpuppy in the same shop on valentine day. So that part must be true.
    Dont make me add u to the list.
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  9. #29
    touchy touchy gunfytr, i thought reporters had to keep their cool... or is this just to hide your secret love
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  10. #30
    Quote Originally Posted by playboyfixer View Post
    touchy touchy gunfytr, i thought reporters had to keep their cool... or is this just to hide your secret love
    U know what they say about ppl who live in glass houses.
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  11. #31
    Quote Originally Posted by Gunfytr View Post
    U know what they say about ppl who live in glass houses.
    they make excellent chitchat articles?
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  12. #32

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #014

    (Wo)Manizing omnis
    by Miss Demeanor

    Greetings once more faithful readers, as well as new readers!

    A while ago we spread the joyful news out on our team growing with 2 new additions, being Feyad and Gunfytr. Well, seems like they like to do more together than just report our fabulous news...

    Earlier tonight we got a message Gunfytr was going womanizing in Tir, given that the quality of women there greatly exceeds those in Neutral and Omni cities. At any rate, having way too many drinks, it seems Gunfytr ended up being guided outside by the barkeeper, after he kept hassling some local females inside the bar, only to find out a new target to fool around with.

    Here's the real surprise now though, as it seems that new target is none other than Feyad himself, dressed up in piratical panties, for now with unknown purposes... Let's just say he didn't seem too surprised about Gunfytr's actions though!

    SpyCam holofeed Gunfytr-Feyad

    Quite visibly Gunfytr must have been very intoxicated, as to a sober eye it's quite obvious that the solitus he mistook for a woman, is about as flat-chested as a wooden board, even Omni-Pol Angelena 'Oozi' Rhees has more than that (though not much)...

    Is there something special going on with Gunfytr and Feyad? Will there be economical fines imposed on them for spending credits in clan cities? Why does Feyad like to wear women's swimwear? Read it all in upcoming ChitChat magazines!

    Sponsor message: Miir female swimwear: now in uni-stretch fabric, for the indiscriminating male!

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly. ALSO: this story has intentionally been made more provocative, as part of a new player-driven mini-storyline ))
    Last edited by playboyfixer; Sep 29th, 2011 at 22:30:51.
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  13. #33
    Quote Originally Posted by Gunfytr View Post
    I am offering a reward of 100 million credz for information leading up to the location of ChitChat offices AND the people behind it.
    Make that 200 million.
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  14. #34
    interesting... i always knew there was something special with Gunfytr
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  15. #35
    As Feyad:

    I will not dignify this recent scandal-rag picture with an answer, suffice to say that I AM a completely bald solitus with black facial tattoos on the right side of my face. Obviously, this is a cheap imitation stand-in for Chit-Chat!
    Last edited by Nadab; Sep 30th, 2011 at 20:02:16.
    Alexsi "Nadab" Stefanovich

    Corporal Officer, Omni-Pol Field Ops
    (Atlantean)

    formerly
    T-Sgt1C, Omni-AF, 4th Fusiliers RST, Retired.

    If I'm the Agent of Shai-hulud, where's my 10% ?
    Roleplaying Profile of Alexsi "Nadab" Stefanovich

  16. #36

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #015

    On the house!
    by Ty P. Writer

    As always, Omni-Tek has been harvesting much-needed funds through fines and so on to feed their hungry pension fund and whatever.... However, it seems that that pension fund will have to be stashed elsewhere!

    Recently we got word from an inside source at Omni-Pol barracks, that for a while now funds keep vanishing from the till. Incidentally, it seems that around that same time every month, Omni-Pol General 'Feyad' Rahal has been sending large amounts of money, more or less equalling the amounts that get stolen every month, to brothels in and around Omni-entertainment.

    When investigating, we asked some of the working force of said establishments about this, and it seems Feyad is quite the popular guy around there! Or should we say "Mister Happy-Hands" in one of the houses of pleasure, and "Panty-raider" in another of those houses.

    From what we have been told by some of the girls there, it seems Feyad likes to spend large quantities of credits in these establishments on girls, and even larger amounts of credits on his "bar-tab" for said girls.
    As if that wasn't enough though, his appetites seem unquenchable, as he womanizes Leileena with those embezzled omni-pol funds too, promising her expensive champagne and caviar candlelight dinners (or should we say flamethrower dinners, knowing how subtle omni-pol can be) and the promise of more after those dinners.

    Leileena seems to be worth more than those establishments on her own though, as she even has to consult her overly-booked agenda for a place to put Feyad in, stating that "she is booked full with special occasions for the next 3 and half months". This ofcourse got Feyad all worked up, making him say things like "if you think my credits aren't good enough for you i can always visit some other chick!". Fortunately for him, Leileena seemed to have comm-problems, so she was unaware of him saying that, upon which she squeezed him in (no pun intended dear readers) for saturday night. So far it is unclear how Gunfytr feels about all this, having his secret lover fool around with others.

    So you see, dear omni-tek readers, where your parking fine money goes to...

    Will Feyad womanize more neutral women? Will he switch to clan women soon? Will he try to fancy them over with guides tours of omni-pol barracks? Will Gunfytr ground Feyad? Read it all in upcoming ChitChat magazines!

    Sponsor message: Mongol Meal: THE only reputable destination for a romantic dinner!

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly. ALSO: this story has intentionally been made more provocative, as part of a new player-driven mini-storyline ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  17. #37

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #016

    Copycat-killer on the loose!
    by Ty P. Writer

    Grave and urgent news struck our offices very recently! It seems that once again - after the massacre of Agrestus on his wives, girlfriends and exes - we have a copycat-killer roaming around, and as if that's not enough it's none other than General 'Feyad' Rahal!

    Just a few moments ago we heard him say he was trying to disable the reclaim of one of his ladies of ill repute, Miss Swan. When someone trustworthy asked him about what he's doing, he said "I'm certain i must rid the world of all these women, they frustrate me!". He then rambled some gibberish for a while, stating that Leileena's dinner might 'take her breath away'. Surely we don't have to draw you a picture to make you realize what he meant with that.

    When we contacted the Newland Authorities on account of Feyad taking over Agrestus' old role of ladykiller, they said they were aware of the situation, as they have been finding mutilated female bodies in alleys and backyards, whenever Feyad has been visiting the city.

    Trying to contact Omni-entertainment forces have been unfruitful till now though, as they refuse to comment on the situation. What we can tell you though is that several of his regular women in the brothels have vanished, being stated by the head-lady as being on "vacation", be it in a whispering tone and looking if no-one can hear her.

    Will Feyad be arrested before he kills Leileena? Will Omni-Pol clean up the mess internally? Will Agrestus show up to give him some pointers? Read it all in upcoming ChitChat magazines!

    Sponsor message: Phaze-bladez: the blade that stays sharp, no matter what use!
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

  18. #38

    ChitChat Magazine Edition #017

    Omni-Tek deploys bio-weapons
    by Miss Demeanor

    Just recent we overheard a very hush-hush conversation on the public radio channel "Channel42" about the well-known leet farmer Johann "Fishmen", or should we say Omni-Operative Johann "Fishmen".

    While tuning in on the channel for some daily updates we bumped right into Fishmen himself talking with another omni operative about his job, which apparently involves him injecting a deadly neurotoxin researched in The Longest Road into the ventilation systems of Old Athens, as a means of testing its effectiveness on a large group of people, or as he said it "a bunch of backwards cavedwellers". When he is exactly planning to fulfill his duties isn't known as of yet, but it was said to be for the near future!

    For now we can only hope that the authorities arrest him before he fulfills his autrocious deed, but we'll be sure to keep you updated in future ChitChat magazines!

    Will Fishmen inject the neurotoxin with success? Why did Fishmen pretend to be a leet farmer? Is it true Alan Jacobi smokes cheap imitation cigars? Read it all in upcoming ChitChat Magazines!

    Sponsor message: Cigarboomz: the novelty cigar that'll leave your friends with a bang they'll never forget!
    (disclaimer: do not use Cigarboomz without valid insurance)

    (( please remember that these stories are to be seen as posted by a ChitChat newsbot, not by me, playboyfixer ICly ))
    Never knock on death's door, always ring the bell and run. Death really hates that.

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