You have mail

[Dabblez]

Mary calls Dabblez to the RUR mail room looking visibly distressed.

"There are bodies! Dead bodies all over the place in the RUR mail room!" screams Mary.

"Bodies? In mail room? Whose bodies?" asks Dabblez.

"I don't know. Some dead people's bodies!"

Dabblez follows Mary to the mail room which is indeed filled with piles of corpses.

"This is going to start smelling soon." states Dabblez.

"What are they doing in my mail room? Who put them here?"

"Let me see." says Dabblez. After inspecting the room she adds "Ah yes, I think I've found the problem."

"The problem is that there are dead bodies in my mail room." protests Mary.

"Well yes, I'll rephrases that. I think I've found the source of the problem. You see all over Rubi-Ka Insurance Reclaim terminals have been replaced with Mail Terminals. As a result our Mail Terminal have been turned into an Insurance Terminal, and judging by the overall deadness of the bodies, not a very good Reclaim Terminal."

"So, what do we do?" asks Mary.

"For now I say we unplug it the terminal."

"Oh right."

"Take the rest of the day off, Mary, you look a little pale. I'll get some cleaner bots to dispose of mess."

"Thank you Dabblez, I think I will."

[Kokkiokova]

Svetlana was watching a platoon of RUR cleaner bots working for hours to dispose of dead bodies from the mail room when a thought filled her mind.

"Where is that union representative when you need her.."

[Ukblizzard]

"General... GENERAL.."
I turned around to see Corporal Anilrid running down the corridor towards me

"General, it won't work.. we all tried, it just won't go through"
I looked down and saw Anilrid holding a fist full of crumpled tickets in her hands

"It keeps telling us that their inboxes are full.. all of them. We really did try to send them their ticket, we knew that it had to work this way. How could they say they didn't receive it when we had the confirmation... but it just won't go through Ma'am. How are they stopping our messages?"

I took one of the crumpled tickets from the Corporals hands, offered a smile and turned back in the direction of my office.

[Nevver]

Nevver awoke with a start and sat up a little too quickly before she crashed back down on the desk in front of her monitor. Her head felt like it weighed as much as a Buick.

"Buick? What the hell is a Buick?" she wondered. "And what is that awful taste in my mouth? Ugh!"

The previous night's events crept back, albeit with a few sparks...

"What? It's just monitoring - all you have to do is record the conversations and let the data nerds figure it out," Ditzie goaded. "Just a couple of shots! It's only tequila and Dabblez says it's made from genetically superior agave plants - it's the best the company has ever produced! Nano technology is great, but NOTHING beats this stuff!"

Nevver remembered: Just "a couple" of shots... Another famous weekend night on a week day work day.

With one crusty eye open, Nevver peered up at the screen in front of her and looked at the time which, unsurprisingly, showed that she was late for work even though, technically, she had never left. Surprisingly, the date was wrong on the monitor too and was off by three years.

"Lousy Omni-Tek clocks," she muttered before yawning. "At least the tequila 'works.'"

One arm slipped down and she scratched her leg. "What the hell???" Her leg was hairier than a Clan woman's! Which was saying something.

"Buick."

"What the HELL is a Buick???"

At that point, a light turned on in Nevver's skull (the skull which weighed as much as a 'Buick').

Three years?

"Nobody drinks THAT much... Well..." And then the rest of it came back. Ditzie mentioned something about that Dabblez from R.U.R. having spliced tequila with Yalmaha fuel and sand worm slime which increased it's alcohol content by 623 percent.

"Wait... Tequila is 80 proof so increasing the alcohol content by six hundred and something percent means that..."

That hurt too much to think about right now (and probably later as well). The point, besides the one that felt like it was penetrating what might be left of her brain, was that she'd passed out on the job for three years.

"Oh well, at least I have some sort of excuse," she mused. "I wasn't asleep at the switch, I was drunk!" That might work... or not.

She picked up her Buick-head and listened to the crackle over the speakers and heard: "There are bodies! Dead bodies all over the place..."

"Mmmmm.... Bodies..."

"Bodies... Buicks..."

Nevver drooled.

[Nevver]

Nevver awoke in the Omni-Reform cell that had been her home for the past several years - the thanks she received for a job well done. Her head felt like a Buick.

"Again with the damned Buick!"

The dream had been a dream except for her legs. "Figures," Nevver muttered.

She looked around at the 'understated' decor and spied a rollerrat that found it's way in from somewhere or another. Instinctively, she killed it and it whined with it's last breath as they did even with their first breaths. "Vile things."

As she sat there staring at the rollerrat, Nevver considered it's carcass for a moment before she grabbed it's tail and ripped it's spine out through it's back.

She knew from her Omni-Tek training that one reason why Clanners ate the disgusting rodents is that rollerrats had very strong bone structures which meant that they didn't get bits of the bone stuck in their teeth when they ate them unlike the fur. Addionally, the strong bones apparently made excellent toothpicks to clean out the aforementioned fur from between the aforementioned Clanner teeth.

"How strange," Nevver pondered, "that Clanners even consider dental hygiene let alone practice it."

Nevver walked over to the cell door and proceeded to file away at one of the bars with the spine of the rollerrate and (amazingly enough to anyone who reads this) it actually worked to cut through the incredibly strong metal! "Who knew!?!?"

After what seemed like minutes but was actually seconds (amazingly again), Nevver cut through the bars and made her escape without running into one single guard (Can you believe it???).

Once out into the twin sun light, Nevver realised that she looked like a mess - and not the good kind of mess. Fortunately, there was a soldier nearby wearing a puffy Assault-Issue Omni-Pol Battle Suit. She crept up on him and pushed him over. The poor new recruit lay on his back with his arms and legs flailing in the air and couldn't get up due to the bulkiness of the suit. (What? He didn't try to do anything after you took his suit???)

Nevver gave the recruit a winning smile which he could not resist and he immediately calmed down (Woo! Are we stretching it now!). She relieved him of the suit and quickly dressed in it to use as a disguise.

Rome Blue was just a quick grid and run away and she made it back to her old, OLD apartment undetected. Once inside, she ripped off the suit, jumped in the shower and shave her Buicks... er... legs. (Wait, wasn't 'Buick' a reference to 'head' or 'skull'?)

With a sigh, Nevver flopped in front of her comm desk and flipped on the screen which read...

You have 82,567,913,864 message.

Yeah...

Out of habit, Nevver switched to the monitoring channel which (OMG!) had never had her security clearance revoked and listened in when she heard...

"There are bodies! Dead bodies all over the place..."

"Mmmmm.... Bodies..."

"Bodies... Buicks..."

Nevver drooled.

...

((Okay, I wrote the first post before going back and reading what I wrote years ago when I left. And, okay, it's a little late and I had a couple of drinks after work so I'm not in great form and I cheated a little. Oops!

I received an email about reactivate my account, blah, blah, blah... So I did. I have no idea what I'm doing but am slowly getting a grasp back on how to play AO. I don't know if I'm going to stick around just yet - I haven't been playing anything else but I haven't forgotten how much time this game required. Lord knows I had a LOT of fun the first time! ))

[Gimpeline]

With the mail terminal out of order, Mary had to walk to Entertainment with her little trolley to get the mail the next day.
It was a long trip but the fresh air would do well.
She opened the termianwindow and took out 30 mail. She couldn’t really understand why this new one only could handle 30 at the time.
After a few hours walk she came back to the mailroom and started to sort the mail.
She had two boxes. One marked important/positive and one much bigger marked bills/Omni-Pol.
When she was done she took the bills/Omni-Pol over to the shredder.
She turned it on and it shouted "Credz plz" but she ignored it and started to feed the letters into it. She could hear an angry noise coming from inside.
At the end of the day she wrote in her report that it had been received 2 mails and sent 30 from the mailroom that day.

[Effrit]

((ooc: i know i dont have a character in RuR, but if you could attribute this to a random RuR employee i would be much obliged, yes its a firefly qoute i couldnt resist.))

"What Y'all order dead a dead guy for?"

[Willone]

A weary engineer peered at his mailbox.

"Spanners, did ah order ony bodies recently?" he asked his robot.

"Negative. You did order many things, but bodies were not amongst the manifest." Spanners replied in perfect English.

"Then... whit is a deid body daein' in mah box?" Willone asked, "Dis it even hae a barcode or onythin' so ah kin send it back?"

Spanners shook his head, grateful to be in Automaton form and not Slayerform. "No identification is available." When Willone sighed, Spanners spoke again. "If I may venture a suggestion, master?"

Willone raised an eyebrow, "Ah'm all ears. Whit dae ye think?"

Spanners shrugged, "Stuff it in Eeod's mailbox and run away."

The laughter continued for quite some time.

((Yeah, same deal as Nevver, reactivate and all that good stuff. I'm still floundering around too, but it's good to be back ))