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Thread: If Then

  1. #1

    If Then

    *Plop*
    "Don't!"
    Eeod dropped his tools. He stared at the person sitting at the table. The fact that that person had a gun pointed at Eeod made him realise argueing was not realy an option. Slowly Eeod backed away from the machine he was working on. "I was only repairing the dishwasher."
    The old Namomage smiled. His hand stroked the desk. "A good desk."he said. He rose from the desk and looked at the machines, tools and gadgets in the lab. Eeod noticed the old man had a slight limp. "Can you tell me what time it is? Exactly please?"
    Eeod looked at his watch. "It's nine minutes past ten."
    "thank you", the old man replied as he removed the safety from his pistol.

    *plop*
    Another person apeared behind the desk.
    "Eeod!" the new person yelled; "Its a time machine!"
    The old Nanomage turned to the newcomer and fired a bullet that went straight through the desk and into the newcomers kneecap.
    The new person fel to the ground holding his wounded leg, and screaming from pain. "Hey! this is not how I remember things! You wounded me!"
    "Yes, and if its any comfort to you, it's stil hurting me, and the pain never realy went away."
    "Now you two, go sit in that corner and I'll try to explain things."
    "Whenever some genious creates a time machine things get cocked up. By repairing the dishwasher you accidentaly mix up a heating element with a Quantum positronic driven whatsamathing. This wil cause the discovery of the milennium."
    "But.. Thats great!" Eeod said; "I'll invent a time machine?"
    "No, you are not that brilliant, but the explosion you were about to cause, wil have an effect on a person that wil be in the vincinity, and she wil invent it eventualy."
    "She?"
    "Oh! the old nanomage said with a look in his eyes like he suddenly realised something; "I'll have to club her."

    "Eeod? What's going on here?" The door opened and Dabblez peeked in. "I heard what sounds like a shot and.." then she realised what situation she walked into.
    "I'm sorry Dabs", the old Nanomage whispered.

    *plop*
    Behind Dabblez an old nanomage with a wooden peg appeared. And with a 'thud' Dabblez fel to the ground.

    *plop*
    The nanomage with the peg disappeared again.
    "Dabblez!" Eeod yelled; "what have you done to Dabblez!"
    "Don't worry, she'll be fine."
    The old nanomage looked around and then walked to a chair. He kicked the chair, and broke of a leg. "This wil do I think, seizing up and compairing the peg with the bump on Dabblez head.

    * plop*
    The wounded nanomage disappeared.

    "You are me right?" Eeod asked.
    "Yes."
    "And the nanomage you shot is me too, isn't it?"
    "Yes."
    "So why didn't he remember that you shot him?"
    "Because with that shot I have changed your future and my past. You were going to go back in time to help yourself building a time machine, but things all went wrong. RUR became a mighty consortium, and slowly worked itself up to being the fourth faction. After a few years the Neutrals and Clansmen were whiped out and after the Coffee Incident a new war between RUR and Omni Tek tore up the planet. After the Milly army invaded Tir, the second most important Omni Tek city, there was no possible return to peace."
    "War? Coffee Incident? Milly army?"
    "It has something to do with a new leader who claimed he was Philip Ross. But that's not history anymore."
    "Not history anymore? What wil happen then?"
    "I dont know, I have altered the past and therefore I don't have a future to go back to. I can only warp to the past from here. There's no going home for me."
    "I'll have to go soon now. Listen up. This is what i want you to do. Take this heating element and place it in the dishwasher."
    Eeod did what he was told.
    "There. Your dishwasher is running smooth again."
    "Now I want you to look at this light"
    The old Eeod held up a pen from whitch a lightbeam apeared.
    The lightbeam scanned Eeods face.
    "you'll remember nothing from what has happened just here."
    Old Eeod hit not-so-old Eeod hard enough with the peg to cause him to fall uncontious to the floor.
    "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a scientist to hit."
    before he disappeared he suddenly realised he had forgotten something. In the dust on a file cabinet he wrote three words. 'Don't trust Ergo'.

    *Plop*
    Last edited by Eeod; Aug 9th, 2009 at 20:33:15. Reason: spelling, grammer
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  2. #2
    (( ROFLMAO..... You RUR people sure know how to screw things up...... ))
    Alexsi "Nadab" Stefanovich

    Corporal Officer, Omni-Pol Field Ops
    (Atlantean)

    formerly
    T-Sgt1C, Omni-AF, 4th Fusiliers RST, Retired.

    If I'm the Agent of Shai-hulud, where's my 10% ?
    Roleplaying Profile of Alexsi "Nadab" Stefanovich

  3. #3
    ((Hope ur happy...now I have a brain cramp))
    Gunfytr 220/30/70 Soldier Lawdog80 220/30/70 Advy
    Quote Originally Posted by Kintaii View Post
    Because we said so.
    Quote Originally Posted by Anarrina View Post
    I am unamused. I strongly suggest you don't unamuse me further
    Quote Originally Posted by Means View Post
    This nano blocks CH. This is intended.

  4. #4
    Quote Originally Posted by Gunfytr View Post
    ((Hope ur happy...now I have a brain cramp))
    ((Yes))
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  5. #5

    may 29449

    *plop*
    *whack*
    *thud*

    "Next!"
    "Hello."
    "Name?"
    "Victor Eeod Linear."
    "You are here for your drivers license right?"
    "Yes."
    "Well, Ill have it ready in a minute."
    "I dont have to do a test?"
    "Not today you don't. just sign here.. and here.. riiight. Now wait a minute..."

    "Here's you're license! good luck!"
    "Thank you! goodbye sir."
    "Goodbye."

    The old Nanomage watched the happy young fellow leave the building. Then he picked up the carved wooden stick that, in a previous life, had served as the leg of a chair.
    "Right. Here we go."

    * plop*
    Last edited by Eeod; Aug 14th, 2009 at 22:48:03.
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

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