Dear Miss Portman,
Despite our differences in opinion, I've read and heard that you currently have a small pink problem.
Seek no further!
On behalf of the Borealis Discount Company we are glad to inform you we have found a suitable solution for your problem (and indirectly for Miss Jaunay):
The Mister Curtis {How about this caidek? still inappropiate?}
(for obvious reasons we couldn't name it Miss Curtis that would just not make any sense.)
With kind regards
Tuxcedo&The borealis Discount Company