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Thread: Yet another fine mess

  1. #1

    Yet another fine mess

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    A pleasant female voice sounded from the emergency loudspeakers.

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    As the fireproof doors closed the searing heat of the blazing fire in the hall diminished. Oxygen filled the room. Eeod took a breath.

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    The lamps hanging from the ceiling flickered. Eeod checked his torch. Only 350 years of power left. Could be worse.

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    All lights went out. Only a few leds from the communication panel were glowing.
    Ok. The radio works. That is good. Oxygen levels are good. No need to panic.

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    He was safe in his own laboratory. The hallway was on fire though. And maybe other engineers labs.
    Suddenly a thought hit him like a brick. The coffee machine was in the kitchenette in the hallway!
    No coffee!

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    Slowly the panic started to grow. I have to get out of here!
    Oh why on Rubi Ka did he request a laboratory 4 stories below ground level!
    And why, for that one time, did RUR household management gave in to his wish?

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."

    The loudspeaker on the communication panel crackled.
    “Hello? This is security. What is going on down there?”
    “Hello! This is Eeod! Am I glad to hear your voice! I accidentally set fire to the laboratory area on level -4. Something went wrong with an experiment.
    I am trapped in my own lab now! Could you get me out?
    “Hello? This is security. Is anybody down there? Please report!”
    It’s me! Eeod! I’m trapped!
    “Is anybody down there? I repeat, is anybody down there? Please report!”
    “Yes, I am down here! Help me!!
    “This is security. If anybody down there can hear me, please report back.”

    Eeod stared at the control panel….

    Meep! Meep! Meep!
    "Attention, all personnel evacuate immediately."


    "hello? Is anybody down there?"
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  2. #2
    "Hello is the Omni-Mining Helpdesk? This is Dabblez from Rubi-Ka Universal Robots."

    "No I don't want to hear about your special on shovels this month. I just need advice on underground rescue operation."

    "Yes."

    "Say you had a little accident, say four floor levels below ground, a fire blocking the exit and a nanomage trapped below, how would you get him out?"

    "Okay. What if I did not want to get a new nanomage?"

    "Yes I realise it would be cheaper to get a new nanomage, but if I wanted to keep this specific nanomage?"

    "I see."

    "I see."

    "No, I don't have a pet giant mole. Do people often reply 'Yes" to that question?"

    "Really?"

    "I see."

    "I see."

    "No a really am not interested in your special on shovels this month. Thank you for your help, good bye."
    Last edited by Dabblez; Jan 9th, 2008 at 09:06:54.
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  3. #3
    ((dabblez I love you! I laughed so much at that))

    *in a sector of Omni-Forest a Clanner sees smoke rising in the distant horizon and keeps walking*
    Copperneedle 207 doc Ex-president Whisper's Edge
    -others on RK1 CLAN!-

    New Perma-Resident to Test Live

    Binarybits 220/26/70 President of :
    Loyal order of the Guinea pig

  4. #4
    In the days that followed, a new song was aired on RUR radio and became a surprise hit.

    It went something like this...


    Ding, dong, dell.
    Eeod's in the well.

    Who put him in?
    Mean Aleilynn,

    Who pulled him out?
    Who said anything about pulling him out?
    Last edited by Dabblez; Jan 11th, 2008 at 20:19:40.
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  5. #5
    It was cold now.
    There was no way the door of the lab could be opened.
    Eeod looked at the intercom. it was not possible to make contact with the surface. But he could hear everything what was going on.
    *crackle* "Eeod? you still down there mate? I guess you are. Find a way to reply. We know you are alive, the Omni-Mining scanner clearly showed nanomage life down there! we will play another song now!"
    *cracle*
    "how does this record player work?"
    "gimme that"
    "Watch out. Now i've got RUR.cola on my sleeve!"
    "Eeod? Its Minage! Here is one to cheer you up!!"
    *crackle*
    The radio starts to play..

    Oh, get me away from here, I'm dying
    Play me a song to set me free
    Nobody writes them like they used to
    So it may as well be me
    Here on my own now after hours
    Here on my own now on a bus
    Think of it this way
    You could either be successful or be us
    With our winning smiles, and us
    With our catchy tunes, and us
    Now we're photogenic
    You know, we don't stand a chance
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  6. #6
    Virta puts down an electronical engineering instrument, and looks at the old readout indicating now obsolete roster of public service personnel.

    One of the large red arrows is pointing downwards, others are pointing eastwards, and then southwards. Some are up. After a while they change direction, mostly north. And south again.

    "It never did that in my time." He shrugs and picks up the instument.
    Engineer General Virta, Omni-Pol. Not in active service.

    Roleplaying Profile of Jimi "Virta" Hendrix

  7. #7
    Eeod was shivering.

    The radio was playing "Beds are burning" by midnight Oil.

    His hands were shaking. His improvised transmitter was almost ready. there were enough different robot components in his lab to make a communication device. After all, he was an engineer!

    His luckiest find til sofar was the ancient lamp relay in his backpack.
    The only thing he had to do now was to connect the lamp relay to the double reversed QPT. but.... safety first.. He put on his tinfoil hat.

    Then, suddenly the air started to tingle. A flash. And right in front of him his colleague Papryka gridded in.

    "Eeod, Eeod!" she waved excitedly, "I'm so glad it worked, I only have a few moments before the grid stream corrects itself after my hack but here..."

    She quickly handed over 2 thermoses of fresh coffee and a stack of over due speeding ticket notices from Omni-Pol.

    "Your mail and some fresh coffee! Just hang in there! I'm sure someone will figure out how to get you out! They are all scientists after all."

    then another flash..

    the room was empty again. Exept for Eeod, the twisted remains of the transmitter, and the shards of the broken lamp relay.

    *cracle*
    "Yo Eeod! Enjoy your coffee! Here is another didle! This is "Sixteen tons" by Johhny Cash!"
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  8. #8
    Dabblez reflects.

    "Just because I don't have a pet giant mole, doesn't mean I can't build one. You will be large, 60 feet tall all made of toughest steel-dolomite alloy and powered by your own twin nuclear reactors. And you shall be known as MOLEATRON and the people will come from distant planetary systems just to see the awesome tunnels you dig."

    "Yes, this could work. Now I just need to collect enough spare robot junk to build the parts."
    Dabblez - Rubi-Ka Universal Robots (RUR)
    We put the Art into Artificial Intelligence!

  9. #9
    Deagnor and Gainer stood in the workroom that was currently the link to Eeod's lab, sealed off below. The record player stood in the corner, playing music to keep Eeod's spirits up.

    Between them on the floor sat a mine drill, about the size of a small Blubbag.

    "OK Gainer, this is the smallest drill I could find before the OM alarms went off, we need to shrink it down a bit more, can you handle it?"

    "I'll see what I can do..." The sounds of nano's being cast filled the room for a few minutes. "well, best I can manage, think that will do it"

    Deagnor took a look at the very-miniaturized drill "yea, and darn glad it's remote controlled too. Now let's get this thing going."

    ** several hours and alot of drilling later**

    "OK, Gainer, looks like we got the hole drilled, the hose run... time to start things up"

    Deagnor reached over and pushed button on the pump. The pump makes a loud gushing sound, and Gainer looks at the tank on the coffee maker.

    "Hey Deag? Is half the coffee pot supposed to empty already?"

    Deagnor quickly hit the off button on the pump. "No, especialy not on the 100l coffee maker here". Deagnor takes a quick look at the pump "ah, here we go.. forgot to set the flow rate" He then turns the dial from 'Max' to 'Min'. "There, that should be about a cup an hour... I hope that hose came thru in a safe spot... Now to get that drill back to OM, hopefully they understand that borrowing it was an emergency..."
    Deagnor 204 Solitus Fixer (Omni) Director of R.U.R.
    ---*** Other RuRians ***---
    83 Opti Pistol Advent Motafrancis | Ovnor 161 Solitus Engineer
    117 Nanomage NT Knightweaver | DiceSlice 83 Opti 1HE Advent
    145 NanoMage MP Miner49 | Mohelunz 69 Solitus Doc
    141 Atrox Enf Cluedozer | Icewrench 63 Opti Fixer
    Icelo 57 Opti Keeper
    Sig updated Sept 2, 2008

  10. #10
    Eeod put down his tweezers.
    the flowerpot in the corner of the lab was empty now. It has taken Eeod about five days to reprocess the geranium in order to produce just enough lignin to make an amount of glue needed to put together the shards of the broken lightbulb. then he atttched the repaired bulb to his transmitter. Now things started to look hopefull again. He took a low level energy stim and powered up the fragile machine. A led started to glow. Eeod picked up the microphone. "Testing. testing. Hello up, there can you hear me? Could you please...

    GUSH

    silence..

    A wet nanomage. A yet again smashed transmitter.

    "No sugar. I could have known."
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  11. #11
    *Rose turns on her comm and scans her mail and see's something about a nanomage that is trapped and sends a message to Dabblez and company offering her assitance.*
    Main Role Play Toons
    ------------------------------
    Agentrose-Rose Alward-Agent
    Abbagail Parsil--Rose's daughter
    Jasminum-Jasmine Linglaya
    Jadedj- Jaden Linglaya-
    Laylana-Doctor-Corporal of Omni-Pol and DJ
    Opangel-engie-Corporal of Omni-Pol
    http://omnipol.sytes.net/join.php

  12. #12
    One month now.

    Eeod sighed. One whole month without communication with people on the surface.
    Were they stil working to get him out? Or have they given up hope?
    Eeod threw a screwdriver in the direction of the door.
    The screwdriver his a switch.

    "shhhwooss"
    the door opened an bright light poored into Eeods lab.
    Eeod got up and walked to the open door. the hallway was squeeky clean. nothing reminded of the blazing fire that raged there 5 weeks ago.
    Around the corner stood a new fridge.

    Eeod couldn't believe his eyes.
    he pushed the button of the lift. upstairs he stumbled to Deagnors office.

    "Hey, look who's there! The lost Nanomage! What do you think of our auto repair halway system? It autorepairs immediately after collisions, fires and earthquakes!
    Had it installed half a year ago! Good investment eh?"

    "the wah..?"
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  13. #13
    "the wah?"

    Deagnor smiled.

    "Now we are going to adress some serious matters...
    You have neglected your duties for the last five weeks. We are going to deduct the cost of all damage the building suffered from your wages. And furthermore me and all other board members voted to change the toiltet cleaning rota. You'll have to clean the Trox holes for the next five years.... with this toothbrush!!"
    Deags face started to grow bigger and bigger..
    "And that is not all!!"
    Deags razorsharp fangs reflected the cold light.
    "We have sent for Dr Kieldare to give you a full medical check up!!!
    MoowaaaAAHH!!"

    "Aaargh!!"
    Eeod opened his eyes.
    In his hands he held the toothbrush. No. Not a toothbrush. Spoon.
    Relieved he crawled out of his bunk, walked to the hole in the wall and resumed digging..
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  14. #14
    The coffee came down on regular hours now. And it actually tasted good. Once everyday someone even poored a cup of RUR.cola down the little tube.
    His tunnel was about 700 meters in length. His spoon was stil in one piece, althought was geting thinner every day. His biggest problem til sofar was to work out what to do with the dirt that came from digging the tunnel.
    The solution was very simple. After diging a bit Eeod hid the dirt in two sacks hidden in his trousers. Back in his lab he tried to look as incon****uous as he could, walked randomly around the lab and opened the sacks a little so that the dirt was spread evenly over the floor.
    Thump.

    Eeod hit his head on the ceiling again. Now, there is a new problem to solve...
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  15. #15
    Finally he hit a cement layer. Cement. Man made. Civilisation.
    Eeod crawled back thrue his tunnel. He had to get something strong. Something to get through the cement. A table leg!
    Two and a half hours of crawling later he was back in his lab. He took his screwdriver and started to unscrew a table leg from his lab table.
    That should do it. He crawled to the place where the coffee tube ended and drank a bit from the bowl placed under the tube.
    Then he crawled back. Thrue the tunnel. Hopefull that this might be the last time.
    When he reached the cement he carefully positioned himself on his back under a stategic spot. then he started hacking away chips of the cement.
    "This is it. when i'm thrue this im free at last!"
    After he chipped away a few centimeters from the cement he pulled up hus legs and hit the cement with his feet. As hard as he could. Nothing.
    Eeod took the table leg and got back to the chipping. Then, after what seemed an eternity a bigger chunk of cement got loose and fel on his arm.
    the pain was very bad, and tears welled up. not from the pain. Or onions. Freedom was just a few inches away.
    He pulled up his legs again and hit the cement. big pieces came loose now. falling on him and next to him. His left arm was broken. no doubt about that now. the strange angle at wich it lay sort of gave that away.
    With his feet he hit the stucture above him again. Floortiles broke. Light poored in the tunnel.
    Freedom.
    carfully, with only his right arm functioning, he climed up. He was in a brightly lit room.
    there were benches and clothing hooks on the walls, and there were lockers. around the corner he heard the sound of falling water and singing women.
    he glanced at the names on the lockers.
    "Deon Beamont"
    "Viie Hendrix"
    "Soifon Saito"
    "Kiyoko Cervenak"
    His face turned pale.
    As fast as he could he stormed out the building. And if the sun had not blinded him he surely woud have missed the sign "training facility" that he ran into.

    Everything went black.
    Last edited by Eeod; Apr 19th, 2008 at 15:28:11.
    --Victor "Eeod" Linear. R.U.R. Engineer --
    Hath not a machine gears?
    Hath not a machine cogs, racks, pinions, cutters, bearings, spindles?
    Fed with the same electric, hurt with the same bits of grit getting in our works, subject to the same gremlins, healed by the same brute force, ignorance and big hammer as a human is?
    If you program us, do we not manufacture?
    If you take us apart, do we not shoot springs all over the floor?
    If you oil us, do we not purr?
    And if you ignore us.......... Do we not get ideas?

  16. #16
    ((by far some of the best comedy in this game))

    Alexander is flying through the country side in his Banshee and hears the distinct sound of bone against solid metal... "hum" he thinks "some training exercises are really taken to extremes"
    Alexanderw 220/17 Opi MA Current setup work in progress.

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