Yahhhh, it's my 14th birthday.

That's about as happy as I get now though. I grow incredibly depressed with this war. No one seems to listen to me on how useless this fight is for both sides. We really can't kill each other, yet we keep up this incredibly worthless raids and attacks upon one another.

It's gotten to the point that when I fall asleep I can feel myself waking up constantly withen my dreams. When I do, I feel a loneliness and fear that strangles my whole body. Then I rush back into the safety the nothingness of my dreams. When I wake I can feel that pain, but push it aside as if it was just a dream. I guess it's easier to hide those feelings now and pretend it away.

Lately I have been sending messages to my Omni contacts about my guilds raids. This isn't an act of treason on my part though. It's my way of showing how utterly useless this war really is. I do think they would have my head though if they ever found out. Hot tempers never have time to listen to a clear head.

I try to explain to them in a clear headed manner every day. They won't listen though. Mostly because of my age, but I am a nano-mage. We tend to mature almost immidiatly from birth. I think its because nanos are mostly reincarnated souls jumping to a new body. Either way I have true sense of whats right and I can not get them to see it the way I do.

All I can hope to do is continue on in secret and publicly carry on with my plans. My plans to end this conflict of mining rights of the settlers and Omni-Tek in a reasonable and thought out manner. Rather than this head on outdated conflict that does nothing but imbitter both sides.


Ahhhhhh, that feels better. Now I hope I can sleep better tonight. Night