Disturbing audio recording

[trousers]

So I had one of my people poking around in my old apartment this morning and they returned to me an audio recording coming from the apartment next door. That apartment belongs to the new Omni-Trans Director Tresa "Cylie" Cross. The following maybe disturbing but we believe she is talking about her husband Beta "Foosball33" Cross. Please listen at your own risk.

(( To the beat of Whitney Houston - I will Always love you ))

*Starts audio transmission*
If I should stay,
I would only, piss, Foos off.
So I'll go; (to Jobe), but I know
I'll think of Trade every step of the way.

And I will always love Foos.
I will always love Foos.
Foos, my darling Foos. Hmm.

Bittersweet; camping leets
their lewt is all I'm taking with me.
So, kbye. Please, don't /cry.
We both know respawn, respawn soon.

And I will always love Foos.
I will always love Foos.

(Cylie making noise imitating an Instrumental solo)

I hope ARK treats you kind
And I hope you have all you've camped for.
And I wish to you, phats and Neut love.
But above all this, I wish they nerf Advents.

And I will always love Foos.
I will always love Foos.
I will always love Foos.
I will always love Foos.
I will always love Foos.
I, I will always love Foos.

Foos, darling, I love you.
Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love Foos.
*End audio transmission*

Shortly here after my agent fled the scene

[FoosballX]

Since Sotto found it necessary to spy on our place and publicly release some of the audio recordings taken. I find it only fitting to release one of my own.
I recorded this through the wall at Cylie's apartment at while sitting home and trying to read.
The recording is of Cylie's next door neighbor Carter Lifetimeguy, former intern of Sotto "Trousers" Mahoney

[[Sung to Sir Mix-A-Lot's Baby Got Back]]

*Playback starts*

*Carter doing some type of Beat box thing*

I like Sotto's butt and I can not lie
You other Omni can't deny
That when a Crat walks in with an itty bitty waste
And respawns in your face
You get sprung

Wanna pull up front
Cuz you notice that Crat butt was stuffed
Deep in the trousers he's wearing
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring

Oh, Sotto I wanna get with ya
And take your picture
My Trans-boys tried to warn me
But with that butt you got
*tires to imitate a female voice*
Me so horny
*back to normal voice*

Ooh, rub all of that smooth skin
You say you wanna get in my Yalm
Well use me, use me
Cuz I ain't your average intern

Dial 1-900-Lifetimeguy and kick them nasty thoughts
Sotto's got back

*Recording Ends*

I ran out of the apartment shortly after, screaming sanctuary.

[trousers]

[[Note: "Baljian" is Director Ariane Baljian, Cheif of Rubi-Kan Operations for Omni-Trans. Also note this didn't actually happen.]]

*A tape recording of an Omni-Trans Office Party is placed into an audio playback device my Tom “Hollowpoint” Harking and he pushes play with the chuckle*

[The sound of Meat Loaf - I’d Do Anything For Love begins to play before the voice of Sotto “Trousers” Mahoney can he heard]

And I would do anything for Trans, I'd run right into Tir and back
I would do anything for Trans, I'll never lie to you and that's a fact
But I'll never forget the way you feel right now, oh no, no way
And I would do anything for Trans, but I won't go Clan, I won't go Clan
Anything for Trans, oh I would do anything for Trans
I would do anything for Trans, but I won't go Clan, oh I won't go Clan

Some day's shipments come easy, and some day's shipments come hard
Some day's shipments don't come at all, and these are the days that we want to end
Some nights you're breathing fire, and some nights you're carved in ice
Some nights you're like nothing I've ever seen before or will again

Maybe I'm crazy, but it's crazy and it's true
I know you can teach me, no one else can teach me now but you

As long as the Notums are Mining, as long as the refineries are burning
As long as your orders are coming true, you better believe it

That I would do anything for Trans, and I'll be there til the final Shipment
I would do anything for Trans, and I'll take a vow and seal a pact

But I'll never forgive myself if we don't make the quota tonight
And I would do anything for Trans, oh I would do anything for Trans
Oh I would do anything for Trans, but I won't go Clan, no I won't go Clan.

I would do anything for Trans, anything you dictate of
But I just won't go Clan
(repeats 3x)

Some days I pray for peace, and somedays I pray for war
Some days I just pray to the God of Forms and Suits and Transportation
Some nights I lose the feeling, and some nights I lose control
Some nights I just lose it all and start to dance in Reet's Retreat

Maybe I'm lonely and that's all I'm qualified to be
There's just one and only, the one and only promise I can keep

As long as the wheels are turning, as long as the thrusters are burning
As long as your cargo is coming thru, you better believe it

That I would do anything for Trans, and you know it's true and that's a fact
I would do anything for Trans, and there'll never be no turning back

But I'll never do it better than I do it with you, so long, so long
And I would do anything for Trans, oh I would do anything for Trans
I would do anything for Trans, but I won't go Clan, no no no I won't go Clan

I would do anything for Trans, anything you dictate of
But I just won't go Clan
(repeats 7x)

But I'll never stop dreaming of you every night of my life, no way

And I would do anything for Trans, oh I would do anything for Trans
I would do anything for Trans, but I won't go Clan, no I won't go Clan



[Baljian:] Will you raise me up, will you get put down?
Will you get me right out of this Godforsaken Job?
Will you make my life a little less hard?

[Mahoney:] I can do that! I can do that!

[Baljian:] Will you hold my meetings? Will you hold my calls?
Can you colorize my life, I'm so sick of black and red?
Can you make it all a little less plain?

[Mahoney:] I can do that! Oh oh, now I can do that!

[Baljian:] Will you make me some magic, with your limited budget?
Can you build a Newland city with these beans you got?
Can you give me something I can take credit for?

[Mahoney:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!


[Baljian:] Will you cater to every beckon call?
Will ya hose me down with omni-water, if I get too hot?
Will you fill orders I've never known?

[Mahoney:] I can do that! Oh oh now, I can do that!

[Baljian:] After a while you'll forget everything
It's a brief procedure and a Omni-Med thing
And you'll see that it's time to move on

[Mahoney:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

[Baljian:] I know the territory, I've been around
Your Career'll turn to dust and we'll all fall down
And sooner or later, you'll be unemployed

[Mahoney:] I won't do that! No I won't do that!

Anything for Trans, oh I would do anything for Trans
I would do anything for Trans, but I won't go Clan, no I won't go Clan

[trousers]

The following audio recording was taken at the Relax Nightclub in Omni-Forest following the Omni-Pre-Med Final exams. The singer was an unidentified male who wished to take part in both the karaoke hour and the 10cr. draft beers...

((Music of: Eric Clapton - Wonderful Tonight))

♫♫It's late in the evening; she's wondering what suit to wear.
She puts on her make-up and brushes her long brown hair.
And then she asks me, "Do I look all right?"
And I say, "Ma'am, you look wonderful tonight."

We go to a meeting and everyone turns to see
This ageless Director that's walking around with me.
And then Sergy' asks me, "Do you have ID?"
And I say, "Yes, I work for Omni-Med tonight."

I work for Omni-Med, because I see,
The knowledge flowing in your eyes.
And the wonder of it all
Is that you just don't realize how much I love '-Med.

It's time to go home now and I see why she hates '-Trans,
So I give her the yalm keys and she helps me to bed.
And then I tell her, as I turn out the light,
I say, "Miss Prestin, I work for Omni-Med tonight.
Oh Miss Prestin, I work for Omni-Med tonight." ♫♫

The individual singing that night was never heard from again...

[trousers]

The following audio recording was taken from the locker room of the Omni-Trans Security division. The Singer has yet to be identified.

(( Music: Bon Jovi - You Give Love A Bad Name))

A vision of peace is what you sell
We promise them sovereignty, then you put them through hell
Chains of oppression got a hold on them
When Newlands a prison, you cant break free

You’ve loaded a gun
There’s nowhere to run
No one can save you
The damage is done

Chorus:
Shot at a Neut
And you’re to blame
You give ’Pol a bad name
They have their laws and you play your games
You give ’Pol a bad name
You give ’Pol a bad name

Pin your badge, on your vest
Desert Reet, at your fingertips
Every trooper’s dream, you act so tough
Your very first bust was your first career mistake

You’ve loaded a gun
There’s nowhere to run
No one can save you
The damage is done

[Chorus]

[Nulion]

((....This truly IS disturbing! *hides under the couch*))