(This is the same conditions as Nulion's journal you see it OOC)
I sit here in my apartment in Jobe and I am left with an impossible decision.... Literally a choice that someone will die over...I hold the lives of Rubi-ka within my hands...and that is no stretch of the truth.... Nulion wants me to rat him and Tyma out at the next council meeting... The last time a traitor was made public within the council that person died...And I was one of the people that had put her down. Lightswift the owner of the cup had been given special access to the council over Silverstone's objections... Silverstone claimed she was a spy...it turned out he was right... He showed the evidence to Jacobi...and the two of them smoked her out. When this happened Puller revealed her true name and attempted to nuke the city of Tir...my people told me the yield of the combined bombs would have obliterated 5 different sectors and turned the varmint woods into ash. A group of were able to disarm one of the bombs...while suppressors built into the tower were able to subdue the damage...Puller and Silverstone survived...I was gridded out by another... When she was confronted she attacked everyone...me being young and reckless dashed head long and provided the opening for Simon Silverstone to drop her...
The effects of that incident still echo within my soul to this day... over a year later...where now I am faced with a similar decision...with far greater stakes. If I rat out Nulion and Tyma...it is very possible something similar or possibly worse could happen to them. But to not do it... to let it pass... to let it go on without me saying a word...could be more damaging...worse... it could alert the one we all seek to destroy and endanger their lives as bad. Volcatius...that murderous bastard. One who has killed children and terrorized this world for reasons that still elude me.
To fulfill my duty to the clans I must betray two I have come to respect and love as if they were family...I...I don’t know if I have the strength...the courage...to do this...Nulion helped me get adjusted to this planet's political structure and has had my back in more sticky situations than I care to count. Tyma...she is like a little sister I never had... I sit watching the landscape change and I am left to wonder is it worth the cost to my soul...Can I turn against those who have helped me so much...It is likely if I do not do this they will suffer fates that I can not even comprehend....but if I do this...they could end up one day with their insurance revoked...and a warrant on their heads....it isn’t the first time the clans have resorted to those methods...
Hobson's choice. But yet...in the grand scheme...I find I have none...I can not allow Volcatius to proceed in his plot whatever it may be...to do so would bring greater risk to this world I have come to call home. I don’t know what to do...for the first time since my arrival on this world I honestly don’t know what to do. I am an enforcer...one way or another death is my business...I never thought I would kill a man with words...but this is what I will have to do this weekend. May all that is holy forgive me...may the Redeemed forgive me... may Ergo forgive me for depriving him of one of his most valued guardians... for what I must do. I can only hope that it all works out... But what I do soon is a bell I can not un-ring...I may permanently ruin them...and I could tear the council apart...Rawenna's disappearance has not gone unnoticed...she at times held the council together by sheer will...God help me...for I fear I do not have the strength to carry on anymore.
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