Dreams of Sanity [What you always wanted to know about *me*]

[Demenzia]

This is for all of you who like to read... let's say... A LOT.

I'm glad I've at last finished writing my own personal little story, but damn! I'm completely *unable* to write something SHORT... guess this is my curse for being so slow to come up with something...

Saa... Hope you'll enjoy it.

/me enters the stage

[Demenzia]

Deannah
In the silence of the Grid

Hmm, so this is how they proceeded?
Nice work, I have to admit. They really want to kill me, now.

If the icon representing her mind had still been able of smiling, Deannah surely would have, floating on the highest gateways overhanging the vast mental dome that was the Grid.

So, so. Seems I've pissed you enough now to make you get out of your holes, eh?

Far from where she virtually stands, gathering of memories, of feelings, of electric impulses, the information about the previous days are still going on reaching her. Information about her, about the men in dark outfits, about the data she had retrieved, not so long ago, about Heiji and Cyrus and Kinlay. Her own body lying still on the ground, eyes half-closed, clothes soaked with blood, her hand twitching as if to grasp the Mausser a few centimeters from her outstretched arm. A growling voice above her - an Atrox's voice, easily recognizable, roughly telling her not to move. And all of a sudden, a heavy booted feet violently hitting her, forcing her to keep her head on the ground.

But still...
They don't know about the holodisc.
They don't, do they? Or they'd already have... have done something.
I hope they don't.
Heiji... Heiji, this time, I really need your help...
I should die in about... 30 seconds now. For the official record, at least.
29...
28...

"So, so. Let me see what we have here... But it's our dear little friend from the other day!" another voice had said, a sardonic voice she was sure she had already heard somewhere before. She can't turn her head to see who's talking, though, nor do anything when a pair of hands begins searching under her trench-coat, in her pockets, amongst the tools she always keeps at her belt, in case she'd have to break through locked doors or hack sealed containers.

"Don't tell me it's all that she had with her?" the voice says again, this time on a slightly angry tone, as the man who seems to be the leader dedainously tosses Deannah's lockpick on the floor.

"No, boss. Ain't no disc", the Atrox answers. "Tried to make her talk, but..."

"You fools! You bunch of fools! Of course she'll tell nothing to stupids like you! Listen, *****. You tell me where you've hidden this information, or I kill you. And don't worry 'bout it, we have means of causing perma-death even to a Fixer scum like you. Understood?"

My mind is still here. The only place where it should really be.
I'll never get tired of those blue, cristalline lines around and above me... The Grid... the Grid is where I feel really safe. Where I can really be myself, and dance between digitized minds and bodies.
I won't answer. He knows this.

A faint smile. A faint, but mocking one, that seems to anger the unknown man even more. Without any warning, he draws a shotgun from under his long coat, and hits her hard in the stomach with the butt, forcing a moan of pain out of her blood-stained lips. Yet pain is only but another distant information. Something affecting the body, not the mind. Maybe if she had had less experience, this would have been enough to force her to lose her phasing with the Grid . Maybe. Maybe if she hadn't tried to push further than she could, she'd still have a hope of staying alive.

"For the last time, Fixer. Where did you hide the stolen data?"

Deannah doesn't answer. Her body's already dying from her wounds, her last healing program over for a few minutes already, and her mind is far, far away from there... distantly, clinically looking at this physical manifestation of hers slowly fading from reality. She doesn't fear death, though being permanently killed could be a frightening idea if what she had planned was to fail. She had foreseen this long ago, and taken the dispositions that were needed. This of course implied that Heiji was still alive... but if he wasn't, anyhow, there was no purpose for her to ever come back. Her griefs against those men clad in black weren't of such importance that she'd come back just for them. But for him, this was a whole different story.

And so, there she was. Memories floating around her, in her, through her. The men in dark cloaks bringing her in a hidden medlab. Trying to make her talk. Trying to make her tell where Heiji was, where she had hidden the data-disc containing this sensitive information they wanted so much. And finally, deciding to simply kill her.

23...
22...
Hah. Accelerating the process, I see.

"She ain't to talk, boss... Already tried stims and such. Little lady here says nothing."

"Then little lady's gonna die", the boss coldly answers with a scowl.

10...
9...
But I have faith.
I won't die.
I...
w... won't...

The man simply fires, directly in Deannah's head. And the muffled silence of the Grid becomes simply silence... just silence...

Deep, complete, utter silence.

... ... ... ...

-- Insurance terminal ID E792AT56, Clon**** --
-- January 24th, 29458 --
-- Processing --
-- Processing --
-- DNA scan: Negative --
-- Subject name: Unknown --
-- Subject not registered as a citizen of Rubi-Ka--
-- Bodily remains will not be made available --

[Demenzia]

Jen
A day on Rubi-Ka
Omni-1 East sewers

It's cold in the sewers.
Nothing to eat. Rats eat all the stuff and they get aggro on me when I try to take food from trashcans.
Bad, nasty rats.
I'm hungry.
I wonder if this sharp, metallic thing can make them go?

The little girl in dirty rags looks angrily at the rats around her, as she tries to figure out how she could use the rusted knife she's just found to make them run away. She had spotted something in the open trashcan, someting that very well looked like food, and if this food was still eatable, then she'd take it. They had so little food, those years. And Mommy was always, always crying when she came home.

Stab.
Stab, stab, stab.
Heh, knife makes funny noises.

A wild grin appears on her face, as she violently hits a female rat on the side with the sharp edge of her blade. With a squiek, the rat backs up, trying to bite her, but she's used to it, and now that she has something close to a weapon... Another shrieking sound. A big male, this time. Blood drippling from the blade, down on the ground, down on her fingers.

Bad, bad rats! You always bite me and make me bleed!
Ha ha, how funny!
Now I can make you bleed too.
Mommy'll be happy when I bring food. Maybe she won't hit me this time.

In a wary motion, Jen quickly begins to search in the trashcan, picking the more food she can in her pockets before the rats come back.

[Demenzia]

Heiji
November 10th, 29462
Rome outskirts

The bastards!
How could I forget what they did to you?
I'll make you alive again.
I promise!

Running as fast as he can, dishevelled black hair flowing out of his helmet, Heiji doesn't try to fight, but simply to reach the town. Night has fallen for a few hours already, yet the two moons high in the sky don't offer him much concealment, despite innate - and of course enhanced - talents. Darn, how come those spies always managed to hide just under the guards' noses? He was pretty sure there were some former Omni employees in their bunch, but also clanners. Surely members of the organization, or they wouldn't have acted so quickly. But how far could the "organization" reach? It wasn't aligned on one side only, for sure - when money entered the game, sides didn't last very long. And they could very well have affiliates everywhere... including in places they wouldn't even have thought of at first.

The Fixer backs up a shudder as he comes to realize that maybe they had been betrayed by someone close to them. You could get full of pride about how the Community always covered its members, about how they were always ready to help each other and sell their shirts if needing to have one of them out of the pit... as he had already noticed, when too much money was at stake, there were some people you couldn't be sure of. Kinlay had disappeared more than six months ago - all data also erased from the insurance terminals. Baika had become oddly distant all of a sudden, and by the looks of it, she avoided him in fear of being seen with him - by who, that was another question. He had found out that Nikk had been murdered the week before, when he hadn't showed up at one of their meeting points, near the Grid exit leading to Meetmedere. And Cyrus, as usual, was hiding his true self and his well-covered past in this dark and old shop of his, far from there. Cyrus had always been the oldest of them all, and the only one having able to stay alive so long.

Grumbling a few curses between his teeth, Heiji grabs the data-disc closer, hiding it under his coat, and quickly computes the last nano-formula he still can afford to use. Whirlwinds of nano-generated light arise around him, making him an easier target, but also allowing him to run faster than ever, blitzing in a few blinks the distance that is still separating him from the Blue District. He had never been an excellent fighter, but his talents laid elsewhere, and theft was only one among them. With some luck, even the Guards at the doors wouldn't see him, lest of all run after him.

The sound of guns firing behind him becomes less and less distinct, and when at last he sees the good old bar near the road, and the first guards patrolling near the walls, he knows he's saved... for the time being, at least.

It is only a question of time, before they find him again.

[Demenzia]

Jen
Night on Rubi-Ka
Omni-1 East sewers

"Mommy, look! I found food again! I know how to take it from rats now. Look, loooooook, Mommy!..."

Yet Mommy's look is cold, as usual, and the expression of pure disgust crossing her face is not a mask, but her real disgust and resentment toward her own daughter, toward the misery they have to live in, toward the dirtiness and the feeling that if the girl hadn't been born, he wouldn't have gone. Mommy's sitting near the only, grimy window, trying to get something out of an old instruction disc definitely needing repairs. Back on Earth, she had studied to be an Engineer, and arrived on Rubi-Ka with dreams of being employed by the Engineering Department at Omni-Tek, but the old days were over now - when he had left her, she had found herself without a job, without any contacts on this new planet, without any means of going back to Earth, and worst of all, without money.

"Wha? It ain't dirty! It's FOOD!" Jen protests, as her mother gives her a reproachful look. "I know you're sad cause Daddy's gone! I know it's my fault if he's gone. You always say it! But I want to help you! Look, Mommy! I can bring more food! I can help!"

"Shut up, you little brat", Mommy says on the tired and angry tone that always matches her face marked with tears, hunger and bitterness. And she lifts her hand.

"I can - Mommy, no! Don't hit me please! Moooommy!..."

Jen curls into a ball in a corner of the dirty room and begins to wail, knowing very well what is to follow.

[Demenzia]

And...
And...
And the rest of this story is to be followed here, because I tell you... it's *really* long