Introducing Project NEAMO

[Dabblez]

Subject: Project NEAMO
To: All RUR current and potential investors


NEAMO stands for Nanobot Enhanced Alien Motor Oil. It represents RUR's first practical application of Alien-Tech to date and we believe it has the potential to become the standard motor oil for robots on all Rubi-Ka and beyond.

The Alien-derived robot motor oil will allow for previously unheard of Viscosity Index levels and Flash Point temperatures making robots more efficient, safe and reliable.

The process is entirely experimental at this stage and is of course a trade secret. Broadly speaking though the process involves stomping a mixture of alien goo and nanobots in a wine barrel with one’s naked feet whilst playing old Beach Boys songs in the background. The music, you must understand, is for the benefit of the nanobots; classical seems to music soothe nanobots.

Obviously for this to be commercially viable we must develop means to fully automate the process. To that effect we aim build a brand new production plant by our HQ just as soon as we get planning permission for it.

Best regards,

Dabblez

Director of Rubi-Ka Universal Robots

[kudayne]

Does this mean that there will be stock sold for the exclusive devlopment of this amazing product?

[mondobizarro]

I know I, for one, would love to invest in a little R.U.R. stock. Not a controlling share, just enough to know I'm doing some good for one of the few departments of Omni-tek I can not only stomach, but actually like. What can I say, I'm a fan of the Jeeves.

That said, I'm very excited that the first of (hopefully) a long line of alien-based technologies designed to make life a little bit easier.

-Rene

[Dabblez]

At present the only way to get RUR shares to to purchase them from an existing shareholder. The list of RUR shareholders can be found >>> HERE <<<

That said, you never know, situations evolve all the time...

Dabblez

[doctorjj]

woot i got 100 shares today..... from virta of Omni poll yaaa

[Saletor]

I thought all oil in the universe was lost after the 10 years war the George Bush started circa 2000(long time ago, I know), where he was so stupid he almost destroyed the world in 2009, by not understanding the concept of the big red button?

[Nevver]

The Alien-derived robot motor oil will allow for previously unheard of Viscosity Index levels and Flash Point temperatures

Does that mean that this stuff is extremely flammable? If so, have you done any studies into the possiblities of pouring it into a container and inserting a wick?

[Dabblez]

woot i got 100 shares today..... from virta of Omni poll yaaa

Congratulations Cudayne, glad to have you among our valued shareholders.

Dabblez

[Virta]

Me selling 5% of my shares was by no means prompted by the development of this motor oil product, but more due to my chronic money problems.

I am not a stock analyst or banker, but according to my calculations the share has increased in value approximately 100000% (based on the recent sales of the stock) since last summer which is slightly more than I expected.

[Mire]

I would say so Officer Virta!

Just from that one sell increased our share price from 10 credits a share to 10,000 credits per share! Rejoice all you share holders and praise be to Officer Virta for increasing our value to one BILLION credits! Woot! woot! *


*disclaimer
Only on paper though

[Dabblez]

NEAMO update

At present we have not yet been able to get planning permission and the appropriate licences from Omni-Admin to construct the facilities to synthesise the alien robot motor oil. As this research deals with alien bio-material, the authorities are insisting on enforcing the most stringent of safety standards, the cost of which would be prohibitively expensive for RUR.

Cynics might wonder whether Omni-Manufacturing may be working on a similar, competing, project and as such may see it as advantageous to lean on Omni-Admin and delay our research. Of course such notions are utter nonsense, Omni-Tek does not conduct its business that way.

We are still seeking to reach some understanding with Omni-Admin on this matter. Further NEAMO updates will be forthcoming as and when the situation develops.

Dabblez
Rubi-Ka Universal Robots

[Lyricia]

If those Omni-Admin bureaucrats keep delaying you it might be time to put them in an old wine barrel and stomp them with your naked feet while playing old Beach Boys songs in the background.

Though that might be too nice for them. Hmm, how about using country music instead?

[Dabblez]

Well the music is for the nanobots, not for the humans. Country Western tends to make the nanobots get drunk and strat brawling. No one knows why this is.

[Tussa]

She lifted from the ground, her meta-physical 'wings' carrying her and transporting her much faster than she could move on her own. How some would prefer the shut-in yalmaha vehicle was something she would never understand. It was tenfolds better to rush through the air like this, wind blowing through her hair and tugging at her coat, seeing the sights and hearing the sounds. Not shut in in a pilot's cockpit.

She smiled as the wind rushed by her, bringing with it the smell of the desert. Not just any desert either. This was the beautiful Duhndur dunes in Wailing Wastes. Having left the Sentinel base in the north, she travelled southest towards the clan outpost. Flying over these vast sand dunes always brought back good memories of when she had been hunting here with groups, a couple of years back. It had been thrilling and no desert would bring back good memories like these would.

Just as she was turning a little more east, a rush of wind passed her and brought with it a hint of something unusual. It rang a bell in the back of her mind and was enough for her to stop her flying forward, as she hovered in the air, her brows furrowing.

"What is this smell..?" she mumbled to herself. Sniffing in the air, she changed directions and slowly followed the scent. Lowering from flightspeed to a slow, almost sweeping type of speed, Jenny's frown deepened. Something was very wrong here. If only she could pinpoint the smell...it was something vaguely familiar. Synthetic, not natural.

As she flew over one of the larger sand dunes, a faint, green glow met her as a large spill of what seemed to be some sort of oil lay spread out on the fine Duhndur sand.

[Tussa]

Looking at the oil slick, she cancelled the NCU program that allowed for her to hover and landed softly on the warm sand. The twin suns were baking the desert and the air was shimmering from the generated heat. The goo itself almost seemed to simmer. Jenny crouched down and picked out an arrow from the small quiver attached to her belt and stuck the titanium broadhead into the substance. Lifting it up, she sniffed in the scent and wrinkled her nose. It was some sort of oil, alright, but it had another, uncommon factor in it as well. One that she had only noticed in one other situation. The stench that followed the alien ships when they landed for a ground attack. This 'oil' or whatever it was, had something to do with alien ingredients, not something you'd usually find on Rubi-Ka.

Standing up, she looked over the large area, contaminated from the spill. There were deep marks in the sand to the right of the spill, as if something heavy had been set there recently. It was hard to make out, being sand and all, but it was obvious that several loads had been shuffled around in the sand not too long ago. Heavy vehicles and structures, maybe tanks that contained this oil. It was hard to tell exactly.

On the far side of the oil slick, a carcass lay. It looked to have been a wasteprowler at some point, but with its fur covered in sticky oil, it was almost unrecognisable and had long gone drawn its last breath. Quickly sweeping the outskirts of the area, she saw several other dead animals. Scorpiods, a blubbag and whole bunch of gargantulas. Not her favorite animals by no means, but being killed like this...from environmental contamination, possibly toxic waste...this was inexcusable. Whoever had done this had to be held responsible.

Rising to an upright position, she snorted and started walking around the area, looking for some sort of clue to what had happened and who were responsible. Ten minutes later, she had found nothing. Kicking the sand in frustration and pain over seeing the wildlife and environment seriously hurt like this, she was about to give up her personal search. When the boot hit something hard in the sand, she was surprised, and even more surprised when picking up a small metal object. Turning it in her hand, she could establish that she had absolutely no idea what it was. Sure, she dabbled with some mechanical and elecrical engineering, but this was completely unfamiliar to her. It was, however, the only clue to what happened here and who did it. Noting the coordinates, she took to the 'wings' again and recorded some footage of how the area looked. Next stop...an engineer who could tell her what the thingamajig was.

[Dabblez]

Meanwhile, in a remote region of the Wailing Wastes…

With the proximity alarms screaming for attention in the background, Dracostrife grabs the comms unit. “We got company, Dabz. Bandit approaching from the East, fast. It’s not just a hammerhead or Yuttos this time.”

“Copy that Draco.” Dabblez switches to the P.A. channel. “Okay people, drop all you’re doing. This is a Code Peppermint emergency. I repeat Code Peppermint! All human and robotic personnel get ready for immediate evac to the grid. Missy, start digitising, the clock is ticking!”

[nonesuch1]

/me realizes why he got such a good deal on his Wailing Wastes Vacation Extravaganza Deal.

[Nevver]

Well the music is for the nanobots, not for the humans. Country Western tends to make the nanobots get drunk and strat brawling. No one knows why this is.

((Hee hee! Classic! ))

[Tussa]

"It's a what-now?"

"A quantum positronic thingy, Jen. Or a QPT for short. Honestly...have you been living under an anti-technological rock?"

The engineer gave her a sort of challenging look, as if he wanted her to try to prove to him that no, she didn't. Instead, she drew a deep breath and smiled at him.

"And what does this...thing do?" she asked, trying her best to sound like she didn't really have any interest. He could go on for hours if he felt like it, his eyes clouding over with a certain boyish glee over finding new toys to play with.

"Well, according to its production company, the QPT gives a robot a greater and more intuitive type of intelligence, which in turn improves human-robot communications."

"Uh huh...and what does that me-...wait...the production company? You know who makes these things?" A smile grew on her face.

"Yep" he smirked. He enjoyed this...knowing something she didn't and then making her wait. "And I know what kind of robot it was fitted in as well."

She looked at him anxiously. Rolling her hands in mid air to spur him on made nothing happen. Finally, she mumbled some curse or another under her breath and tapped her wristpad, transferring his regular fee of 500 000 credits for the slightest bit of information. Freelancers...she had a love/hate relationship with them.

Once his wristpad jingled in a silky, smooth sound and he verified the receipt mail, he smiled a toothy grin at her, leaned back on the counter and handed her a 2-page 'leaflet'.

"What's this?" she asked, flipping the leaflet over in her hand.

"What..you can't read, Jen?" he smirked. "It's the RUR catalogue."

She rolled her eyes. "Look...they've sent me this catalogue gods knows how many times. I'm not interested in a leet bot or 'watch my non-existing kinds' bot or an- ..."

"You could have used one of those Pfft! bots, Jen. You're starting to look a little round around the edges. The demon not pushing you around enough?" He chuckled a little as she stood there, gaping at him.

"If this is how you're going to be, perhaps I'll take my credits elsewhere, hm? I heard that Bazzit dude in Meetmedere is a good researcher."

He sighed. "Fine...look...you may not want the leetbot or The Milly, but would you have bought the ST-49 Guardmaster?" He set his one mechanical eye and one brown eye in her, smiling.

"Huh? That's the robot RUR were planning to manufacture for guarding Newland or something, right?" He nodded and waited for her to finish. "But that robot was never released. It wasn't sold to the public, was it?"

"This QPT was once fitted in a Guardmaster robot. They may have sold some...but I doubt it. It was more than likely fitted in a personal guardmaster they use themselves. Heh...wouldn't want to be them around that robot now."

"You're absolutely sure that this thingy was made by RUR and outfitted in a Guardmaster G robot?" she asked. With a nod, he confirmed. "Yep...that would be them. See this here? It says 'ST-49' in Braille. You know...the alphabet for blind folks?"

"Err...why would th-...nevermind. Thanks...you came through once again. I'm happy that I've got connections with people like you. You're clever and quick thinking." She gave him a bright smile and took the QPT from him.

"Don't forget handsome. So, how about that dinner, you and me, Jen...I'll buy you ottous filet on this nice little restaurant I know in Bliss."

"Don't push it, bub" she answered and headed out the door. RUR and QPT and ST-49 and gods know what else. She had to find for sure that this was a direct connection.

[Cox]

Edit: was drunk when I posted that.... Lol thought it was funny at the time Oo