So you bought a brand new HQ...

**Dabblez** · Sep 25th, 2004, 20:43:55

And your HQ is a beauty. But its huge, and it quickly gets so dusty.

ISN'T IT TIME YOU INVESTED IN A
RUR DLK-2000 VACUUM CLEANER ROBOT?

This message was brought to you by RUR, Rubi-Ka Universal Robots.

**Demenzia** · Sep 25th, 2004, 20:53:17

Hear, hear. *mutters something soundign su****iously like "really need to hire some more personnel to do tha housework"*

Uhm... by chance... does it also work with, err, uncommon substances? Y'know... vaporized shards of glass... stuff like dat? ...

**Blackpetal** · Sep 26th, 2004, 02:56:18

Originally Posted by Demenzia

Hear, hear. *mutters something soundign su****iously like "really need to hire some more personnel to do tha housework"*

Uhm... by chance... does it also work with, err, uncommon substances? Y'know... vaporized shards of glass... stuff like dat? ...

...

If the shards are vaporized, you really don't need a vacuum, do you? ^_^;;

-Blackpetal

**Swiftmind** · Sep 26th, 2004, 05:09:44

My droids have been doing alright at cleaning. But they could always use some more help. I be glade to buy some cleaners from RUR.

**Mirm** · Sep 26th, 2004, 07:48:18

Demenzia has a point. Does this invention work well with rubble? Blood stains? Unmentionable items you don't care to identify and that only a doctor could identify? Does it repair furniture in case of 'accidents'? And if it for some 'reason' gets in the middle of a combat situation does it know to run? Or better yet. Defend itself? These are all theoretical questions of course but of great interest to me.

**Vixentrox** · Sep 26th, 2004, 15:53:52

Can it suck the sharks and fishies out of the corner of the aquarium they are all huddled in?

**Slave4Metal666** · Sep 28th, 2004, 07:29:40

Does it slice,dice,protect,and baby sit? Not all at once mind you wouldn't want any of the OT tots getting hurt.

**Dabblez** · Sep 28th, 2004, 08:06:37

Ladies, gentlemen, the DLK-2000 is just a vacuum cleaner bot. It does just waht you would expect a vacuum cleaner bot will do. If your want a robots that is more versaitle, maybe you would consider the Phewy Series 6, aka The Milly Bot. Of course it is a good deal more expensive.

Please browse our online catalog of household roobts.

Dabblez

**Nevver** · Sep 28th, 2004, 13:22:03

Can its nozzle be inserted into the respiratory system of say... oh... a Clanner and then suck the giblets right out of said Clanner? What is the canister capacity and suck quotient?

**Dabblez** · Sep 28th, 2004, 13:37:04

Originally Posted by Nevver

Can its nozzle be inserted into the respiratory system of say... oh... a Clanner and then suck the giblets right out of said Clanner?

Oh course not, what a ghastly thing to even suggest! All our robts are 3 Laws Safe, meaning they cannot by their action or inaction harm a human being!

Truely shocked,

Dabblez

**Nevver** · Sep 28th, 2004, 13:39:45

Well, what if I welded the nozzle to the Clanner's head so that the robot had no choice? Or maybe I could just tie a towel around it's "head" so that it can't see what it's doing. That would absolve the vacuum cleaner of any mechanical guilt, wouldn't it?

**arimathea** · Sep 28th, 2004, 14:06:01

Can it at least suck up the dried clanner blood from my carpet? I have this stain I've been trying to get out for WEEKS!

**Marisha** · Sep 28th, 2004, 15:37:23

I’m interested in purchasing one for the Maidens, but I’m concerned on how it will handle the steps. Is there a rocket booster in the base so that it can fly over such primitive obstacles?

**Nevver** · Sep 28th, 2004, 15:44:19

Originally Posted by Marisha

Is there a rocket booster in the base[...]?

If so, can the vacuum hose be attached to the rocket? Scorching giblets might be even more fun than sucking them out.

**Necromancyr** · Sep 28th, 2004, 16:32:48

I just want to know if you have a bot that can get all this damn alien bio-goo out of the carpet.

Some of those little bug-eyed freaks are very squishy, and tend to ooze biomaterial everywhere when they get.......disposed of.

Also, while vaccuming is handy, something with some reach that could clean the exterior walls of blood/alien goo wouldnt be a bad idea as well. Our weekly visits from the those little green cretins are starting to really filthy the place up......

Edit:
One small question, what the heck is with this bots vocal response circuits? Every now and again this thing goes off bleating "Exterminate!", and rolls around waving its appendages in a threatening manner. Your not re-using code from an old Vermin disposal unit in this thing are you?

**Nexeus** · Sep 28th, 2004, 18:31:20

You know I have a ton of stains in my apartments that I want to get out, I think I've spilled everything on the floor - including chocolate cake (don't ask). I'm very interested in seeing how good this robot is... but is there a demo?

**Dabblez** · Sep 28th, 2004, 19:05:47

Originally Posted by Nevver

Well, what if I welded the nozzle to the Clanner's head so that the robot had no choice? Or maybe I could just tie a towel around it's "head" so that it can't see what it's doing. That would absolve the vacuum cleaner of any mechanical guilt, wouldn't it?

You are a strange and scary person Ms Nevver. I am not sure I want to talk to you, let alone sell you a robot.

Dabblez

**Dabblez** · Sep 28th, 2004, 19:09:54

Originally Posted by Marisha

I’m interested in purchasing one for the Maidens, but I’m concerned on how it will handle the steps. Is there a rocket booster in the base so that it can fly over such primitive obstacles?

I am very sorry, but the classic DLK cannot navigate steps. And it can be disabled by throwing a blanket over its head. Everyone knows that.

Dabblez

**Dabblez** · Sep 28th, 2004, 19:12:43

Originally Posted by Necromancyr

One small question, what the heck is with this bots vocal response circuits? Every now and again this thing goes off bleating "Exterminate!", and rolls around waving its appendages in a threatening manner. Your not re-using code from an old Vermin disposal unit in this thing are you?

Fear not, whent he DLK-2000 shrieks "Eterminate, exterminate" It's only talking about dust.. or maybe small pets. If you really don't like it, you can flip a switch on the back to swap to "Resistance is futile" mode.

Dabblez

**Mirm** · Sep 28th, 2004, 19:16:47

If they can't get blood and other unmentionables outa the carpet I ain't intrested. But if they could... There a price on this?

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