Female Harassment on Rubi-Ka

[__________Draugrbane]

Originally posted by PaulyShore
It can get really annoying. I've seen the /adjust emote far too many times... and I don't even go around in lingerie.

Some @ssholes even tried to "r@pe" one of my female characters (saying stuff like "hold her down" /adjust /adjust /adjust), so I turned into a leet and ran away.

(And I'm a fem. irl, btw. ...and apparently, "r@pe" is a censored word here)

When idiot boys joke about that on an online game, kinda makes you wonder what they do behind closed doors in real life, no?

I haven't played a female character since my character over on another game that shall remain nameless at this time, but, I found that the female character always had guys giving stuff to her for no reason, when my male characters could hardly get a buff unless I had a lot of money to hand over...

it's really interesting seeing how you can play on some lonely, horny male's for stuff tho.... When all they have to go by is some computer generated avatar to drool over...

Kinda shows how women act in r/l sometimes...

(No offence ment to any females here)

(and yes, I am a male when outside the game...)

[______________Cayana]

Ack reality.. I'm gonna have nightmares now.

As a rl female who plays a female in game, I have to say I haven't come across any serious harassment. Maybe I'm just lucky, or you just ran into the wrong people? I dunno. Part of it is in your attitude I think. I had one guy ask me "looking for a good time?" to which I replied "nope". That was the end of that conversation.

[______________Virind]

I've gotten a fair bit of that kind of sexual harrasment kind of crap from some of the more meat headed moron boys out there (nothing from within my guild I'm very glad to say). It's annoying, but it's also life. The difference is, on AO I can go relive the stress caused by these jerks by going and beating the living hell out of a whole mission of males. When I do that in real life, the police always want to have a few words with me (after I've put down the weapons of course).

And it's true (and very amusing) that a fair number of female characters are played by males (who knows, maybe those males seeing how obnoxious the male 'advances' and crap are will learn a measure of insight to how real women feel).

But here's something I bet very few of you have thought of. How many males characters are being played by female players? The next time you're swapping macho stories with your big beefy buddy in Tir, you just might be girl. And she just might be laughing her ass off.

Just a thought.
Later
Virind

[Sallust]

One of my IRL female friends used to love to play Atrox all the time. It was really quite amusing, especially when females chars came up to us in the clubs

[Aristaeus]

It might have to do something with the names of chars.
Like the guy who started this thread said he came up with a cute name thanks to his wife.
That is the first thing I do when I see a female toon in the game. Go like that is made up by a guy or not sure or possibly a real female behind the controls.
Not that I do any of the behaviour presented here. I got manners. It is just funny to see the amount of guys running around with a female toon.

[____________Verloran]

Mocc says: "Uhh... Mocc not have anybody flirt with him. Mocc not get no free stuff, neither. But Mocc is good Atrox; he like fee-males. Fee-males is friend. Nicer than others only fighting. Mocc fight too- good at smash stuff hard. But Mocc also build stuff, and have friend. Fee-males is nice. Some get cold in what wear, though. Not much clothes on some. But Mocc not like those ones. Is silly."

[_____________Hardboy]

<ooc>
I don't know where you are from, but round my way a lass called 'filly'(or whatever *cute* name you picked) wandering around in her underwear, or for that matter in Madonna-esque armour, is highly likely to get a bit of unwanted attention. My guess is that if you called yourself Daghmar and wore a brown cloak you wouldn't get a second look - welcome to real life!

Just a thought, but maybe, just maybe, some of the sexist comments are all part of the RP. After all, the sort of people that spend most of their time killing monsters, bandits etc are hardly likely to be the most evolved souls on the planet.

After all, my own beloved Atrox 'Hardboy' wanders around saying "Hardboy want to go bonk some heads" a lot. It doesn't mean that I do this in real life. Well, maybe on saturday nights )
</ooc>
One fing Hardboy don't understand is quite why us Atrox have so big a bulge in the trouser department. But then there is lots Hardboy don't understand. Don't matter. Just so long as Hardboy can find heads to bonk.

[Demenzia]

One of my chars is male also, so I guess I know the difference

On another hand, being an IRL table-top roleplayer, there's something i've noticed, and am not sure it would be the same in AO (it's my first online game after all).

Girls playing male chars don't necessarily play them effeùminate or over-macho. Seems they "instinctively" know how a male char should behave, for the most part.

The guys whom I've played with, when playing females chars, always tended to have them overreact. Either they were sex-puppets wearing nought to nothing and always flirting with all the men that they used to meet, or they were poor little fragile things unable to do anything without a man to help them.

Maybe I've played with people who hadn't any girlfriends at that time, or maybe they didn't dare have their chars act like "real" women in fear of being called effeminate themselves?

Is it easier for a girl to play a male char than the contrary - generally speaking?

It might have to do something with the names of chars.

As Alberon said... If I see a female char going by the name of "SuperSexybabe", for instance, I almost immediately wonder if she's played by a man...

[__________PaulyShore]

Originally posted by Alberon
It might have to do something with the names of chars.

I'm sure that having a "cute" name... you know, like "Sexkitten" or "Wetnwild" would have some affect on the type of attention you'd get, but I didn't give any of my characters names that are so "cute," so I doubt that's the only/biggest factor involved.

Although in general, I have a feeling that the female avatars that attract the most attention are played by men.

[______________Scarmy]

Originally posted by Hemicuda
I made a female character just for the hell of it and too be completely different from my normal Atrox's I usually play.

I came up with my wife’s help with what I thought was a cute name.

Well is it just because I'm male and seeing something I don't normally see, but do other female players get harassed as much as I have been?

I get so many tells about how is my day, "wink".....*rubbing your shoulders*....etc, it is started to get ridiculous. I have had guys ask for my email and such, and questions about what I look like in real life. If I was really a female I would be completely annoyed, not just humored like I am now.

It is really sad that guys feel the need to think with their member and not their brain.

On a positive note…..I had one guy who gave me 100k just out of the blue. I also got a rare QL186 nano crystal and a nice set of NCU’s all because some guy felt generous to this little “girl”

M8 thats not cause you were a female char, i got money/items from high people all the time (they just come up to me and give to me)

[Ceneria]

I'm only playing female chars, although I am male inRL.

haven't noticed too much of what you describe actully. Only the thing with people being average nice to you.

I think my playing style and how I talk affects alot, I'm not trying to get everyone to think I'm a girl.


When playing other chars aside from my main I try to roleplay some though.

A phrase that always gets me any buff I want for free is

"Excuse me mister/miss, can you please help me out for a sec?"

but this is roleplaying, and I like it a lot

[Nova]

When I make my mp and doc, some how I feel they shud been female chars. (no flame on that pleace)

and no1 is never flirting with them.

[Cthonian]

Originally posted by PaulyShore
It can get really annoying. I've seen the /adjust emote far too many times... and I don't even go around in lingerie.

Some @ssholes even tried to "r@pe" one of my female characters (saying stuff like "hold her down" /adjust /adjust /adjust), so I turned into a leet and ran away.

(And I'm a fem. irl, btw. ...and apparently, "r@pe" is a censored word here)

hm...
i wonder if thier behavior was not against Rules of conduct ?

if so ---> petition
( i have quite a good experience with petitioning
regarding harassment )

It's not about revenge,
it's about saving the next victim.

[Tboo]

99% of males are idiots, as are 99% of the females. Just treasure the few you meet who aren't and try not to let the others stress you out too much.

- Tboo

[QieriKell]

I always play female chars. Can't say I ever remember being harrassed tho. Then again, as a rule I don't take presents from strangers unless it's fairly trivial stuff--mainly cause I like shopping (yeah I'm a RL female <g>). And--I don't get insulted at the drop of a hat or a casual comment either.

In general, if I'm uncomfortable with a situation I just leave. It works.

Hmmm on second thought I think I ran into one guy once who was harrassing a friend. But it was very much the exception to my experience in online games.

[______________Saidin]

I hope people aren't making to big deal out of this...

Of course some types SH are complete unacceptible. But lets get real here people, these games bring with them every aspects of Real Life. I can speak alittle of other countries because I've live aboad, and Americans are way to PC & super sensitive, please suck it up your a grown up right ? We are a sexual race of people, don't act so suprised when someone shows it. We've been train Scream SH when ever someone bats there eyes or does /adjust (they put it in the game hmmm...). Just look at the sexual clothes in this game, If your wearing clothes like that your putting out the sexual Vibe, Don't play the Victim role when someone gets flirty. To many Victims in America, I for one will never play the Victim role.

I'm not saying there is no such thing as 'SH', there is....It's just alot more serious than /adjust or some rude comments.

[Aktrez]

It's so bizzare that this is something that women have to deal with in MMORPG. I have gotten the rude comments.. I have gotten the gestures.. not only by male avatars, but female as well. I am a board member for Phoenix Entertainment, so we work a LOT of the social scenes on Rubi-Ka. You will find more Female/Female avatars sitting "on top" of each other in the corner than you will see male/female.

It's strange, I play MANY online games, and AO seems to be the most mature community I have been in so far. I get it 1000x as worse in a game like Kohan, Warcraft or Unreal Tournament.

In AO, Because I"m an actress in real life, as well as a singer... and because I advertise our songs in the game and on a webpage with my rl picture, I feel that that is the cause of most of my harassement. But, I don't consider that "asking for it". Just because I"m an attractive girl, doesn't mean that I'm DYING for people to say "Can I f#$% u?" or "How big are your tits? OOOH.. what I would do with those!!"

I think that a majority of the vulgarity comes from the younger members of the game who don't quite understand the grown up social atmosphere of Anarchy Online.

Other girls thoughts?

-Aki

[__________PaulyShore]

Originally posted by Aktrez
It's so bizzare that this is something that women have to deal with in MMORPG. I have gotten the rude comments.. I have gotten the gestures.. not only by male avatars, but female as well. I am a board member for Phoenix Entertainment, so we work a LOT of the social scenes on Rubi-Ka. You will find more Female/Female avatars sitting "on top" of each other in the corner than you will see male/female.

It's strange, I play MANY online games, and AO seems to be the most mature community I have been in so far. I get it 1000x as worse in a game like Kohan, Warcraft or Unreal Tournament.

In AO, Because I"m an actress in real life, as well as a singer... and because I advertise our songs in the game and on a webpage with my rl picture, I feel that that is the cause of most of my harassement. But, I don't consider that "asking for it". Just because I"m an attractive girl, doesn't mean that I'm DYING for people to say "Can I f#$% u?" or "How big are your tits? OOOH.. what I would do with those!!"

I think that a majority of the vulgarity comes from the younger members of the game who don't quite understand the grown up social atmosphere of Anarchy Online.

Other girls thoughts?

-Aki

I agree. I experience the same thing irl. Just because I go somewhere in a skirt doesn't mean I'm dying to get crude comments. I'm so sick of the whole blaming it on the girl because she was wearing a sexy outfit excuse. However, I don't think that acting like a complete ******* to women is limited to younger members of AO. Yeah, I do see a lot of "lesbians" in AO.

And the whole r@pe thing happened several months ago. I've completely forgotten who did it.

[Laeni]

I've only had one experience that I found rude. ONe of my characters is a table dancer in Rompa and when she was taking a break, a male character emoted that he put his hand between my breasts. Whereupon I emoted that if he didn't behave himself he would get a good swift kick to the groin and as a professional dancer, the kick would be a strong one indeed.

What was funny about that is as soon as I emoted that, another male character sitting nearby asked if I was male IRL because he didn't think that females would react that way.

To which I can only say "Huh?"

Some guys think that table dancers are just there for cybering but most will back off when you inform them that YOU are just a table dancer and that's all.

Don't play the Victim role when someone gets flirty. To many Victims in America, I for one will never play the Victim role

There is a big difference between "flirting" and being vulgar or offensive. Emoting a sexual act to someone is not flirting. Roleplaying (if you can call it that) r@pe is not flirting. Fortunately there has been little of this in AO from my perspective but that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist.

Oh and by the way, just because some individual Americans may go to ridiculous lengths in charging sexual harrassment does not mean that it isn't a problem. Maybe it's acceptable in the countries you've lived in for a boss to demand sexual favors from a woman in order for her to keep her job but it isn't in the U.S. And if you ARE American well thank God that you don't have to service the boss in order to keep your job.

[______________Saidin]

Table Dancing at Rompa's is a sexual act!! You were commiting a Sexual Act!!(If you think you weren't then, you don't get it). Maybe his comment was rude but it was no more sexual than what you were doing.

And bringing up the Sleep with me or your fired, gives no support to the conversation. OF COURSE THAT IS WRONG!! No one would disagree with you! But that is a far cry from you Table Dancing and having some guy respond sexually.