Dear J(0)nni(E),
Dear Ivana "Funcom" Daley,
I remember the first day we met...It felt like love at first site. In the beginning you were so attractive and interesting that it allowed me to overlook your shortfalls. You were there for me one minute, but then the next minute you were gone. It was no big deal as you assured me you would get your act together, that you would have more time for me and that I was very special to you. As any good lover would do, I waited patiently for your undying devotion and I professed my confidence in you. You told me all that you wanted was a little cash, to be told nice things and in return you would be back in my arms and never let me down again. Well, the days turned into weeks and the weeks turned into months...still you couldn't pull yourself together. I look back and think of all the time, energy and money I put into our relationship, I have to admit, it seems like it was all a waste. You never got any better, you just manipulated me. Occasionally, you would do something wonderful and then turn around and do two things worse. I tried to tell you that if things did not get better I would leave you, did you not hear me or did you just not care? In any case, I hope you are happy in what you have become and that you are proud of the changes you made despite my adversity. I would like to look back and at least think of our relationship as one of fun, challenge, acceptance and genuine concern...but I can't. I hope you get everything you deserve, you evil little devil. Good bye and good ridance!!!
Love,
I. "Stuckey" Iytapauras
P.S. I left your things by the curb.
