------- (( How do you know your team of lvl 100+ will get you killed ))

[________________Nerd]

Originally posted by DoctorEarl
As a doc, I feel soooo much pain.

I don't mean to be cruel, but when you have a trader that's almost level 100, and isn't sure what nanos to buy, which ones are useful, and "are calms any good" DAMN! how to you get levels? or an adventurer that doesn't know they can heal.....

That's one bad thing about ebay.

newbie peeps getting access to high-lvl chars and no idea on how to use them. It's almost like handing a drivers-license to a 8-year-old kid with only experience from his first 200m bicycle-ride, which ended with him landing on his face btw. Perhaps one should ask people right in the face:

-"you didn't play this char from lvl1, did you? You got this far thanks to Ebay, didn't you?"

-"yeah. you got me there"

*wham!* "You were kicker from team xxxxx
select eay'er
/ignore


might be a bit TOO cruel though....... besides ebay'ers DO give money into FC's bank-account.

Well, I'm ranting and should have been sleeping now. Gah! So tired. Worked over-time today too. Only got 1 hour logged into RK1 today. Just got a little stuck here, on the boards, as usual.

[RoboKa]

You're doing level 189 missions, the high player is a level 130ish engy and everyone else is 102 and trying to hide behind the bot, except for on dude that keeps standing by doors or opening chests during battle.

[_______________Forth]

'The typical "tank pull" goes something like this:

The tank is buffed and told to pull.
The tank signals readiness to pull by /discoing and commenting on the fixer's breasts.
The tank departs and the fixer bitterly starts listening to Ani DiFranco tunes while reordering program nanos.
The tank returns suddenly with about four dangerous and upset MOB's on his tail.
The tank says "Incoming!"
With the exception of the fixer, who is still jamming with Ani, the group leaps into coordinated action, focusing their attacks on the group's engie.
The engie's warbot is vigorously lodged in his rectum so that the party can actually see and target the enemy.
Acquiring your target by assisting the puller, you light off your most potent nuke.
Your target rushes you, and you summon the tank to your aid saying "ON ME!"
The doctor pulls the remaining 3 MOB's off the tank by healing him.
The crat highlights the MOB attacking you by casting mesmerize on it.
The tank, guided by the pretty flash, rushes to attack the mezzed MOB.
With mez broken, the MOB continues to pound you while the tank attempts to taunt it off you.
Taunt succeeds a few seconds after you die.
The doctor, forgotten in all the excitement, is killed by the other 3 MOB's.
With the doc dead, the tank panics and trains his MOB to zone; meanwhile, the 3 other MOB's pounce on the grooving fixer.
The fixer prepares to evac while the crat prepares to mesmerize the MOBs off her.
The engie extracts his warbot from his nethers and trims his pet, taunting all the MOBs off the fixer.
The crat mesmerizes the engie.
The engie dies and the fixer evacs to safety with the crat.
Of course, it doesn't always go this well, but this is the general idea. '

with apologies to Kushinata of The Nameless

[Balderac]

I agree with you on every point but this one:

- The MP has his healing pet on him.

I prefer to keep the healing pet on myself until I see someone that needs the healing badly. In my experience the mobs switch targets pretty often, and that poor Doc who's getting beaten on might need my heal pet instead of a Tank with still 90% HP.

(And its impossible to switch a heal pet who is on a not fully healed player)

[hhli-china]

uhm, /pet behind then /pet heal doens't get it off and on someone else?

[____________Keaorata]

LOL!

This whole thread is class!

I love Forths "Typical Tank Pull"

Makes a good comedy sketch

[Thyrra]

i thought key dupers were boss mob only items that people were getting from their alts or guilds.

[Ashuras]

Hmm... there is another scenario...

WHen the ADV is the ONLY healer in a QL195+ mission and the team has no bots to tank.

It's crazy, I was asked to be one.. told those guys I would love the xp, but I CANNOT keep the team alive against Aces and Real Means...

[Balderac]

How about this "scenario" ?:

All the people except you in your team have less than 60 in IQ.

[__________Router1215]

damn dude, that is some funny stuff.

best post i ever read i honestly think. still laughing.

oh wait...gotta go my team is in the other window and they just pulled another while i wasn't looking.

[Supersoly]

Originally posted by Thyrra
i thought key dupers were boss mob only items that people were getting from their alts or guilds.

THEY AREN'T ?!?!?!?!??!!

[Whiterrabbit]

when your soldier teammate wearing a pionneer backpack asks you, how do i upload mission co-ordinates to the map?

when the team is about to die, and you evac them, and they say "why did you do that? we could handle those 4 slayerdroids without a doc!"

when your puller gets a massive train going, and instead of running off into the distance, and doing the noble self sacrifice thing, runs back to the team, and shouts "add" promptly killing you all.

[_____________Amanite]

Originally posted by Forth
The crat highlights the MOB attacking you by casting mesmerize on it.
The tank, guided by the pretty flash, rushes to attack the mezzed MOB.

As a bureaucrat, I have to say this one made me laugh out loud during some minutes hehe

---------------
An true story:

I was at Eyes camp in 20k in a team , and we were looking for one more..
Someone was recruited, a lvl 150+ soldier.
We were "duping" keys (exploit exploit !) waiting for him to join us, and if someone from the team could come fetch him and guide him from 20K to the eye camp.. as he "never had time to really visit the world" with his char and then didn't know where this camp was.

Damn, I was amazed.. A level 150+ omni soldier...
I tought: Damn, if he had no time to visit the world, did he take the time to learn the nano progs, the tank-strategy, .. , ?

and then understood he had just bought the account and was still learning how to play the game..

Hopefully, during battle, he knew what to do and nobody died.. but that was my first encounter with a real "Ebayer".

Amanite

[edit]

What Video Game Character Are you?

I am a Thrust-ship.

I am small and tricky - where you think I am, I probably am not. I can work very fast, but I tend to go about things in a round about way, which often leaves me effectively standing still. I hate
(If you were not a Thrust-ship you would be Gauntlet Adventurer )

--> Nice description for a bureaucrat in my opinion.. and that describes me ho so well too.

[/edit]

[FireC]

Originally posted by DoctorEarl
uhm, /pet behind then /pet heal doens't get it off and on someone else?

*lol* Ever tried that one when there's a huge need to get the pet off someone with less than full health bar? When I finally get it off the original person it will then tell me repeatedly "sorry I can not do that" 10 times in a row and refuses to heal anyone till it's too late.

*is sure that her heal pet reads these forums as well and misbehaves even more now on*

EDIT: Very funny thread btw. We need more threads like this.

[Coldstrike]

A couple of more things in 100+ teams that will be a good indication of complete failiure:

- When the 128 MA gives you SG when you ask for a crit buff.

- When someone asks to be warped to the mission, eve if there are no engineers in the team, and the mission is in the door 5 meters from the save terminal in home.

- When the NT only have the QL5 humidity extractor.

- When the doc is the first person to flee when you get two adds, even if you have 2 level 140 traders to take care of them.

- When you are the only one not wielding a pillow or a leet doll.

- When the agent only have 1000 hit points because body dev is dark blue.

- When someone spends all their time trying to sell stuff on the team chat.

- When members of the team have less than 100 NCU.

- When the NT gets mad because the trader don't want to chain cast wrangle to let the NT use some new nano.

- When you run into a green NT mobs, and it starts casting. (Well, I guess they removed last word now.

- When someone in the team is wearing energized, sids or chilled plasteel.

- When the fixer has tried to blitz the mission while the others were outside distributing keys, and the mission was for xp, not for the reward.

- When the doc wants money from the team for nano kits.

- When people think that pulling==attacking

- When you see "<soldier>'s execution of Total Mirror Shield Mk I was interupted by <mean mob>".

[Coldstrike]

Originally posted by Ashuras
WHen the ADV is the ONLY healer in a QL195+ mission and the team has no bots to tank.

Forgot one:

- When people start talking about making bots tank.

[Wobble]

- when during a brief rebuff session mid-mission someone repeatedly spams you for a wrangle, then after you wrangle they ***** because they didnt have the free ncu, you then warn the team that you can't heal or mez for 3 mins and the tank takes this as his cue to start pulling again.


I've lost so many team mates due to wrangle debuffs it's not funny.. Kinda ironic when it's the people that begged you for the wrangle that get killed because no one has noticed that it's both you and the doc that are healing when fighting hard mobs.

[FireC]

- When your team thinks MP is mainly a healer.
- When your team with an enforcer thinks MP pet can and should hold the aggro.
- When the tank of the team first whines till you put the heal pet permanently on him, then after all your warnings jumps over tables and runs around losing the heal pet in the process then yells at you like it was your fault he died.
- When there's that one person with low HPs (usually an agent type) who likes to hang around the door ways looking into rooms with mobs in them and pulling more than one on the team when they're not ready yet.

[_____Poweredge|vault]

Originally posted by peekaboo
- When there's that one person with low HPs (usually an agent type) who likes to hang around the door ways looking into rooms with mobs in them and pulling more than one on the team when they're not ready yet.

How very very true.

The other thing, is when the puller/tank is leading you through the mission, they hit the %t macro, and people start shooting it before the tank. (Usually agents with Aimed Shot again)

If I had a credit for the number of people that got whacked for beating the tank to the first shot, I'd be a rich soldier indeed.

Another one... when the tank has to ask the doc for a heal, even tho the doc can see the tanks health bar.

[Julka_Pomy]

Ah yes and dont forget to use mongo bash when crat or trader calmed the adds .

Also nice to have trader who after dives and plunder decides to use his gun on mob this way outdamaging soldier and geting agroed...

About ebayers...

Lvl 200 Agentwalking in tir shouting how can i stop walking...

not goning to call names