How many Clanners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

[____________khanibal]

Hear about Evel CLANievel's new trick?

-Jumping Omni's with a steam-roller.





Bump since jokes are cool~

[Autumnleaves]

Okay, I'll play along.

How many Agents does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it...
One to plant a bug in it...
One to plan the cover-up operation...
And an outer-perimeter man, just in case.

How many Bureaucrats does it take to change a light bulb?
One to spot and report the burnt-out bulb...
One to authorize a Grounds and Maintenance Requisition Order...
Five attendant droids to file the requisition copies...
One droid to deliver the original requisition to the purchasing department...
One Emergency Supplies Purchasing Agent to order the bulb...
One droid to forward the purchasing order...
One droid to deliver the purchased bulb...
Ten Compliance Technicians to ensure that all relevant OT and ICC regulations are followed...
Three Safety and Quality Standards Inspection Monitors...
Twelve secretary droids to fill out the post-bulb change paperwork...
And one to supervise a droid as it screws the new bulb into a water faucet.

How many Doctors does it take to change a light bulb?
A general practitioner to check if the bulb has insurance and to recommend a bulb specialist...
A bulb specialist to recommend a bulb installation specialist...
A bulb installation specialist to ask a nurse which end to screw in...
And one more to shout "doc lft!" every ten seconds.

How many Enforcers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but you'll need a whole case of spare bulbs, a janitor to clean up all the broken glass, and a bracer of shrinking flesh to get him out the door afterwards.

How many Engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to build a bulb-changer droid...
One to beg for mochams...
And one to use a "divert energy to rotational force" trimmer.

How many Fixers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it...
One to shoot all the witnesses...
And one to grid-warp the team afterwards.

How many Martial Artists does it take to change a light bulb?
The apprentice gathers the firewood while the master enlightens him with a parry staff.

How many Metaphysicists does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it...
One to not change it...
One to not not change it...
One to float in the air wearing cool sunglasses...
And four more to handle all the buff requests.

How many Nanotechnicians does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. If the room goes dark when an NT's around, everyone assumes they've been blinded.

How many Soldiers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to shout orders...
One to change the bulb...
One to buff the bulb-changer with Total Mirror Shield in case of accidents...
And the rest of the squad to guard them.

How many Traders does it take to change a light bulb?
One to head to the trader shop for a new bulb...
One to skill-wrangle the socket so it can equip the new bulb...
One to screw in the bulb...
And one to talk you into buying a new yalm.

And, finally... How many morphed Adventurers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Two.

[Nepenthea]

[OOC: ROFL!! Autumnleaves, those were fantastic! Thank you for such a great laugh!!]

[Baxie]

Why did the leet cross the road?

To get UBER!!!

(I still think that is funny)

What do you get if try to cross breed a clanner with a pig?

The pig wont do it.

(Not too original I know )

[Aulial]

Why did the clanner cross the road?

To run from all the Omni chasing him down for the kill!

Hahaha I make myself laugh. But not anybody else.

[_____________Emticus]

How many neutrals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-None, we will get all the light we need when Omni-1 and Athens burns to ground-


The ever evolving,
Emticus

|One soldier to lead them|
-Keepers of the Flame-

[Engelen]

Lol omg, this was a good post.

Whats at the bottom of clanners swimmingpools?
"No Smoking."

Why did the Clanner move out from his home?
Because he heard that 90% of all accidents happens home.

How can you see that a Clanner has used a computer? There is pen markings on the monitor.

The Clan General to a disobedient Clan soldier: As a punishment for your disobediency you shall now water the flowers.
The Clan Soldier: But its raining outside?!
The Clan General: Oh no you cant fool me, put on a raincoat.

It was hard times for the clanners. One time, a lucky clanner found a box of matches that Omni Tek had dropped. Not quite sure what to do, he decided to try it and see what it was.
He scratched the first match, but nothing happened.
"Hmm..That one didnt work. No use, I`ll throw it."
He tried the next one, but it was still dead.
"Hmm..another one...wellwell, no use for it."
Then he tried a third one, and with a might flame it burned, and to the clanner happily said:
"Oh it works! I`ll save that one for later!"

Gaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

[Autumnleaves]

R.U.R. was testing a new bartender bot the other day. The 'bot could alter it's dialogue based on the customer's Intelligence stat.

The first customer's Int was 500, so the 'bot talked about nanoprogramming, metaphysics, and the latest TruSpace game.

The second customer's Int was 200, so the 'bot talked about 'leet wrestling, custom yalms, and the latest Ohwn Joo holovid.

The third customer's Int was 30, so the 'bot said, "How are the clans doing these days?"

[Mummu]

Originally posted by Emticus
[B]How many neutrals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
-None, we will get all the light we need when Omni-1 and Athens burns to ground-

yes.
/voice pilotlaugh

[Lucrezia]

Totally wrong interpretation of the fixer nature.
More correct:

How many Fixers does it take to change a light bulb?
Light bulb, which light bulb ?
/evacs


And my total politically uncorrect one in an adaption to modern times:

Sports day in the Omnipol-Prisoners camp. The commander steps in front of the prisoners: Today is sportsday, that means: The omni-prisoners play rugby on the rugbyfield, the neutral-prisoners play hide-and-catch on the hidingfield and the clan-prisoners play sack-jumping in the minefield.


Well a last one:

Do you know the greatest secret of Internops ? It is: .... *gurrgle* /me falls down dead

[Fixerben]

Originally posted by Autumnleaves
How many Fixers does it take to change a light bulb?
One to change it...
One to shoot all the witnesses...
And one to grid-warp the team afterwards.

Love that one!

[Spizmack]

How many Omni's does it take to change a lighbulb?

One. They just stand there waiting for the world to revolve around them.

What's red and black and crying?

The omni I just pushed down the stairs

[Spizmack]

Double

[Mmba]

thread necro for funny jokes!

[Nevver]

Raar!

[jokzer]

[[Hey, thread necromancy is bad!

Hehe, still some good jokes in here - and some names to recall as well.]]

*Looks over the grid conversation and smiles*
Well, I see that omnis hasn't evolved all that much..