Grues's journal (Rimor)

[_______________Grues]

ARK expo, thoughts about The Conflict

Went to the ARK expo and party. The party was alright, I guess, for those in love of parties - not really knowing anyone and having no idea how to get to know them, I spent my time standing next to some older members of the Shattered Dreams,and their friends, and feeling awkward.

When I received word that the expo at ICC might be more interesting I started out. On the way I ran into Plavca, a former member of SD. She's someone I had heard a lot about, even though I had never spoken with her - imagine my surprise when I saw from the insignia she carried that she had gone over to the clans! I had a short chat with her about her motives, and have to admit she seems to have done what she did in good intentions, being honest to herself. If you want to believe that's what matters most - well.

That really spoiled my day.

It was not much enhanced by the fact that once I got to the expo, there was this self-stylized clanner "commander" of the Sentinels, or whatever, throwing insults all around to every neutral she could recognize as such. She seemed to be in no good terms with Falikos or other members of SD, and as I associate with them now I got my fair share of her nonsense. Glad to report she got what she asked for from us, too.

I must admit that as a newcomer I am completely puzzled about this conflict. From above the planet it seemed easy: OT owns the place, and the clans refuse to admit that. It's not that the clans wouldn't have had valid complaints in the past, but right now there's nothing stopping them from leaving the planet if they don't like the way OT runs the job, or taking up OT employment if they do... they seem to be obsolete.

Among watching plays, shows, and discussions, I had the chance to talk about this with some people: among them Lucrezia (a member of some weird temple; as a response to my question if she's omni answered "I hold an OT passport, yes") and "Juri" Russi of the Vox Populi.

I can't say I still get it, though.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Apprentice Nano-Technician
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis (Rubi-Ka 2)

[Rookwood]

Grues, while I appreciate your sense of dismay in some of the interactions and activities you had with some of the clanners that you met at the expo, I'd like to point out that not every clanner you met that day should have inspired a sense of sadness or irritation. There are some who, regardless of affiliation, manage to keep from painting the entire world with wide brush strokes.

-Jake "Juri" Russi

[_______________Grues]

That is true, Juri - and are you yourself not a living example of that?

When I arrived on the planet - not such a long time ago, I admit - it was my intention to take up some OT post as soon as I found a good one. As a clan supporter, you might find it encouraging that I still am a free-lancer and trying to figure out my position.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Apprentice Nano-Technician
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis (Rubi-Ka 2)

[_______________Grues]

Strangely, one thing that now makes it harder for me to seek permanent OT employment is the support and even friendship I receive from the Shattered Dreams.

It is very difficult to receive gifts - like just this evening a bunch of highly advanced nano chrystals that I will not even be able to use for possibly years and years, and an offer for a very good bow - when you know you most likely won't be able to pay back.

It wouldn't be a problem if I was certain that I will stay a free lancer, and stay in the SD. Then I could pay back to the organization later, by helping out other newcomers the same way.

Maybe I should have said thanks, but no thanks - but I would have been crazy to do so, and possibly offended someone.

Probably these gifts were not regarded as so valuable by those who gave them to me. They are well-off and established on the planet, and what to me seems enourmous riches might be just every-day trinkets for them... But it doesn't change the matter at all; I'm still in debt to them, and while I am extremely grateful it also makes me feel a little uncomfortable.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Apprentice Nano-Technician
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis (Rubi-Ka 2)

[Sallust]

Don't give the Clan Sentinels too much signifigance. Simon Silverstone was once a neutral himself until Omni-Tek assassinated his family. Now he has decided to create the Demons for Omni-Tek that they have made us Clanners out to be. Silverstone tries his best to live up to every nasty OT propaganda piece about us, real Clanners have more serious ideals and principles to live by.

If some people have found nobler principles and ideals to live by I hope you won't be too dissapointed. Its better than living just for selfish greed or brainwashed conformity. I understand that the people among Shattered Dreams are much closer to the former than the latter themselves.

[_______________Grues]

There's this temple many of us go for jobs quite often. It's generally known that you can use a portal from Rome, actually meant for use by the temple devotees only, but most of the time I just grid to Tir and run from there. The reason for this is that while it takes a longer time to pass through the desert, I tend to get shot at in Rome Green district. A lot.

The other day I was going there again, planning to stay some time. A (very experienced and competent) medic in my organization told me to go through Rome, as it's very quick and easy. I respect this person very much, so I thought maybe I've just had bad luck in Rome, or maybe I've provoked the OT folks with something I do. So I decide to try once more.

After being lost in Rome for about half and hour, I located the portal. The first time I didn't even have the time to register what hit me. Back to Borealis, sitting around in rez shock and the resulting dizziness. The second time I notice it's an OT bureaucrat. The third time I become quite sure he's there just for me. And I also had serious dizziness as the after effect of so many resurrections in the row. I hate to think what that will do to my insurance costs in the future...

I would have given up with the portal and ran via Tir, but around this point the doc gets angry and claims no one is allowed to shoot his organization mates like that. I tell him to beware, or he'll end up on the OT wanted list too. He says he doesn't care, and that he'll clear the way for me.

Add another "quick way home" both for the doc and for me, when I think the way is cleared when the fighting stops. Add pacing around at Rome grid point, waiting for the doc to get healed, buffed, and whatever, and to try again. And again.

Finally, the way is cleared, and I pass through... only to be immediately killed by two giant spiders, which I could have avoided had I arrived through the desert.

"Quick and easy." Yep.

In the end he came and killed the spiders too.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Apprentice Nano-Technician
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis (Rubi-Ka 2)

[_______________Grues]

(( OOC: I've been asked by some people what to make of this text in game; should this be treated as offgame information or not? I think what this is meant to be is an ingame weblog of Grues. So these texts do exist in game, and are publically available via the grid or something, but they are not advertised or widely linked or anything as far as Grues must be relied on to do it. So you can decide for yourself if your character has read this in the game or not, and if they have, IC comments in the thread are more than welcome. ))

[_______________Grues]

There's this one woman, I think her name is Baptist, that I've now seen three times talking to some fellow members of SD in Borealis. Each time there's been some kind of argument or other trouble going on. She seems to enjoy throwing hints and seeding su****ion inside our organization - and the worst thing is that I still have hard time convincing myself that the last one was just idle mischief without any truth behind it. (I won't repeat it here, though, out of fear of spreading groundless rumours.)

On a more positive note, I am closing the end of my apprenticeship, and if I can keep on the study and practice schedule I should reach the highly respected (yeah, right) status of initiate soonish. I'm thinking of having a party when I do - that would be the first one I give since my tenth birthday party. (And hopefully a better one, too.)

Also had an interesting business proposal from a distant acquitance. Have to give it a thought and see if we can find funding.

[_______________Grues]

I've graduated! I'm no longer a novice, then... and there goes the last excuse for not taking the business.

But I'm pretty much decided about it anyway. Under the circumstances I hardly could refuse... Got a message from Dad, and the name of the most probable representative on the project: one Mr. Flummer. Never met him, and no idea when he arrives on planet.

I feel kind of sad. I passed through a lot of places today that I might soon not be welcome to, and felt like saying goodbyes to all of them.

Oh well...
Start in the way that you want to go on
Tear down the fence that you sit upon
It was good while it lasted, but now it is gone
So face up to what you have done
... like the old Crowded House song says.

And, oh yes, when your Momma told you not to jump in the Grid, she was right. Never believed it myself, but now I've seen people stuck there often enough, waiting for an ARK operator to come and release them.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Nano-Technician Initiate
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[_______________Grues]

Didn't bother to throw a big party for the graduation, after all, but instead had a few glasses of wine in Reets with just Jaja and Draugx. Talked about hunting and beverages and implants and climates and whatnot. Relaxing, and nice getting to know them better.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Nano-Technician Initiate
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[Jajangmyun]

Sometimes just relaxing with new friends is just as nice, if not nicer, than having a gigantic party. It was nice chatting with you and Draug. Congratulations on passing into the next level of studies.

[_______________Grues]

Jobe is an extremely beautiful city, if confusing in its layout. I have been given an apartment there, a low-quality one now and a promised upgrade if and when the business takes off, all expenses paid - and if I hadn't already decided about the offer, this might have finally convinced me. It's somehow easier to breath up there... probably psychological, buit it still makes me feel good.

I'm keeping my Borealis sewer-hole, too, though, at least for now. Need to have a place to go if something goes wrong.

I still find it hard to believe there is this other dimension. I took a portal to the area called Elysium, and looked around a little bit, but it didn't look too welcoming - I'm no adventurer, and the place had a hair-raising eerie feeling to it. I hear there are organized tours, though, so maybe I can take one later.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Nano-Techician Initiate
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[_________________SM2]

Originally posted by Grues
I must admit that as a newcomer I am completely puzzled about this conflict. From above the planet it seemed easy: OT owns the place, and the clans refuse to admit that. It's not that the clans wouldn't have had valid complaints in the past, but right now there's nothing stopping them from leaving the planet if they don't like the way OT runs the job, or taking up OT employment if they do... they seem to be obsolete.

Remember Grue that not all Clanners are Solitus, and as a Nano-Mage myself I _cannot_ leave Rubi-Ka, without the ambient Notum my system will shut down within hours.

And while the Shadowlands are indeed hostile, you may find the information available there enlightening.

[_______________Grues]

Oh, yes, with the wonders of modern medicine and the help of some exported notum, you can survive outside of Rubi-Ka as a nanomage. I'm not sure you can call that living, though. Been there, done that, if you didn't guess already - but not out of my own choice, and wouldn't do it again, now that the choice is mine.

You are right: having accustomed to the correct notum-levels and feeling how much better it is here, living outside is definitely not something I can tell another nanomage to do.

I'm sorry, I didn't think quite straight there.

Still, I can't agree with the clan cause. If there is one - ask a dozen clanners in Athens what the conflict is about, and you get dozen different answers. (On the other hand, ask 12 Omni-Tek employees in Rome, and you get only one answer - unfortunately that answer is wrong.) If you don't want to take up OT employment and cannot leave, I feel that at least you should stay a freelancer, neutral in the conflict.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Nano-Techician Initiate
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[_______________Grues]

I spoke with Fali about my soon-to-be going over to OT. She took it very fine, didn't object, said I'd always be part of SD anyway, and so on - in the true neutral fashion she has.

Falikos, by the way, must be the most admirable person I've met on Rubi-Ka, possible anywhere - I don't agree with her about many things, but she has such internal coherence to her that one must admire it. If the conflict on Rubi-Ka has any hope of solving itself in any other way than the clans being completely wiped out, that hope lies in Falikos.

I've found myself thinking of the few clanners I've met. There are one or two I would have liked to have as my friends.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Nano-Techician Initiate
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[_______________Grues]

One thing among many I hate on this ball of rock is the absolute impossibility of getting decent business clothes. And just try to talk about it to most of the locals: they are quite happy with what they got. "There's always Miiir."

Oh yes. And that's all there is.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Nano-Techician Initiate
Member of Shattered Dreams
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[_______________Grues]

So, it's done. I've signed the papers, and am back to being a good company girl, uniform, badge, tokens, and all. Still missing one OT representative, though - where is that man? - before we can actually go to business.

There's a lot of talk about making Newland truly neutral again. It seems no one knows whose idea it actually was to hire these thugs who keep "order" there currently... and it seems no one knows who could disband the lot. Not that I really oppose shooting clanners, no sir, but it's crazy that a city calling itself neutral takes such a strong stance in the conflict.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Initiate Nano-Technician
OmniTek Employee
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)

[_______________Grues]

Found out my tokens and awards from off-planet are not worth anything on Rubi-Ka; branches of OT are independent that way, you see. Gotta love the bureaucracy. However, also found out that on this war-torn ball of notum you get company merit for shooting people (no perma-death jobs, naturally, and would they tell you if that bomb they ask you to implant somewhere was one?).

While this is a completely crazy basis for handing out merit tokens, it is also how I'm supporting myself anyway right now - the war also springs up a surprising number of people who want to pay you reasonably good money for "killing" someone. So I've started to earn those stupid blue dots at a tolerably nice speed. Which is great; I have enough doubts about calling myself a director of anything with my age and experience, doing so without any company status would be outright embarrassing.

--
Meda "Grues" Shenkel
Initiate Nano-Technician
Employee of OmniTech
Borealis, Rubi-Ka (Rimor)