The day Ron changed.

[didymus]

So far, it had been a fairly normal day for Lord Ron, head of the beggar's Guild.
That was soon about to change ..

"Beggaaaars .. Atten-HUT!! Come on, form a line and get ready for inspection! HUT HUT HUT!!"
"Well there, gutcrawler Josip. You think this is funny?! Pull in that chest and use that gait properly!"
"great rotsnort" .. BEGGARS! Look at Rotsnort here! Nails pants! Kevlar body vest! Vagabond cloak!"
"That is how you dress!"
"Very good, fishbag. I like that thong, Zordin. You think that Vagabond cloak REEKS, officer Sausage?!"

.. Fouloleron takes a step back and looks down.

"What the hell are you?"
"I am Foullilron, sir!"
"You look just like me except you're short and fat!"
"I'm your biggest fan, sir!"
"Where the hell did you come from?!"
"... Remember the name 'Squinky', sire?"

Fouloleron swallowed hard ..

"'Squinky .. You mean that .. leet in Backyard 1?"
"My mother, sire."
"Ah yes, I remember it clearly as if it was only a meal ago."

*dreamy flashback, story turns retrospective.*

"I had just come to this place and was hunting leets in the backyard when ..."

Fouloleron was walking around the backyard, trying to figure out how to use his rifle.
"Blasted piece of technology, how on earth am I supposed to .."
BLAM!! .. The solar rifle exploded in a brilliant light, blinding him.
All he could see was blinding white light, but out of the light came the most beautiful
creature he'd ever set his eyes upon. Fouloleron was stunned by it's gorgeousness.

"Dewd" it said.
"Oh valiant creature of plump, short beaty .. Never before have I laid eyes upon anything
as radiantly beautiful, so perfect, so dazzling, so .."
"stfu noob"
"What beautiful words, surely it must be some foreign language."

*flashback gets blurry and starts wobbling back to Ron's inspection.*

"Well, I really can't remember much more, you see, because she'd looted two bottles of Jack
we drank from a nearby reet, you see."
"She told me you humped her, sir!"
"I certainly did not!"

And so, from that day on, Ron's life would never again be the same.


(( *cough* .. Just somethign I wrote in 5 minutes when I was severly bored one day.
I'm really sorry you had to read it .. ))

[Quezt]

Nice story Didymus!

You should post it as a anti-alchohol campain