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Thread: OMG DEACKY'S STORYTIME!!!!! -This one is actually a SERIOUS story...

  1. #1

    OMG DEACKY'S STORYTIME!!!!! -This one is actually a SERIOUS story...

    I wanted to try something a bit different this time....

    Some of the nanotechnician nanos such as "Izgimmer's Mockery", "Enfraam's perfected fortification", "Izgimmer's Living Codex" and "Enfraam's Toolkit" tell bits and pieces of a story of sorts, yet we're left with a sense of longing, wanting to know these characters a bit better.

    The description of "Izgimmer's Living Codex" implies a relationship of sorts between the famous metaphysicist Sarah Mocham (mokiez) and Nanotechnician Mehar Izgimmer.

    Why not lovers? After all, Mocham would have to be pretty close to Izgimmer for anyone to even think that Izgimmer would entrust his own Nanoprogramming libraries to Mocham.

    And mocham's gift? Hmm, I wonder who gave her those gifts? *grins*

    Keep in mind a few things:

    Metaphysicists ARE nanotechnicians. Spiritual nanotechnicians, so it made sense to have both Sarah and Mehar come from common grounds, i.e. Nano-Technicians...

    If it sucks, tell me it sucks. Although I've written a few stories in rl, I don't think I've ever written a serious tale on these boards and it's hard to cram and compress a full story into limited space, even with multiple chapters. So much begs to be written that, to me, the story feels truncated and slighted. I'm hoping you won't be as critical as I am...

    And yes, this story will continue.
    Nanomage: The OTHER other white meat

  2. #2
    Chapter 1: I, Metaphysicist

    And God blessed the seventh day, and hallowed it; because that in it he rested from all his work which God had created and made Genesis 2:1

    “Today is going to be a special day” Sarah Mocham said with a smile, wrapping her arms around Mehar Izgimmer as they lay together in the bed of their modest Jobe dwelling. Outside, the twin suns acknowledged this by blanketing the two lovers in warmth and light.

    While both Mehar and Sarah were widely acknowledged Nano-technicians, their home was rather humble, at least compared to the grand splendor of the floating island on which they resided. A bedroom, which connected to a living area, a lavatory and a small kitchen that had been unused since the day they moved in, all colored in the same beige-gold. They would proudly proclaim on the rare occasion that they entertained company “our only excess is never our excess” and judging by their bare walls and simple decorations, they meant it.

    Mehar raised an eyebrow and gave his trademark smirk. “Oh is it? And why is that?” To anyone else, that look was one of mockery or condescendence, but to Sarah it was his way of showing a sort of playful curiosity. Or maybe it was mockery. Despite being brilliant, Sarah was still after all only Solitus, making it easy to condescend, whether intended or not.

    Sarah’s knowing smile widened and she tapped a finger to her forehead. Behind that smile was a secret that Mehar was not privy to. There had been a lot of those lately and he felt a wave of concern, but let it pass. Mehar feared that her research into theoretical sciences and material creation were beginning to draw her down a dark path. “Emotions are a highly powerful and dangerous tool” he would say to her with increasing frequency, but thought it best to save that particular speech for another day. She was smiling today, and he thought it wise to keep her that way for as long as possible.

    Without saying another word and letting his smile linger a moment longer so as to not raise su****ion, Mehar turned to the holodisplay mounted on the wall and called up a menu of the previous week’s news gridstream.

    Featured prominently was the collapse and subsequent hospitalization of his old colleague, Julias Enfraam. The smile returned to Mehar’s lips as he increased the volume.

    “—stable condition in Omni Med facilities. Enfraam was not available for comment, yet was reported as refusing treatmeant by Jobe Physicians, citing personal unrest and a lack of faith in the medical staff on Jobe. The 49 year old nanomage man is said to have been paralyzed on the left side from the stroke and will undergo implantation surgery to restore mobility.”

    Sarah noticed the faux smile broadening into something more real. “I’m not sure what’s worse. The fact that your reverse engineering of Julias’ Fortification code has caused the poor man to suffer a stroke, or the fact that you seem to be happy about it.” Her mock scowl softened slightly and she added “I hear Omni-Med still uses knives clamps in their brain surgeries too.” The two looked at each other and erupted into gusts of laughter.

    Laughter had been on short supply lately, so it was good to stock up whenever one could.
    “Sarah, surely you can’t be serious.” The laughter was still quite alive in his voice, even though his face had taken on a more serious look. “The man had it coming. You were there when he proclaimed his fortification program was crafted with such skill that no one would ever be able to match it. He was looking directly at me! It was a challenge. A calling out, if you will. You were present; surely you haven’t forgotten the smug look he gave me?”

    “Oh yes, I was there alright, hoping that the sound of my snoring wasn’t waking you up.”

    Mehar gave her a devilish grin. “I was wondering the same thing. Julias’ lectures are well renowned to be on the dry side.”

    “Oh Mehar, let’s not mince words. The man is a downright bore and everyone knows it! Why they still attend his lectures is a puzzle that not even a nanomage could figure out.”

    “My dear, they attend because they know that I will attend. They wish to see how quickly and how thoroughly I will outdo my former colleague’s primitive nanoprograms.” Mehar emphasized the word ‘primitive’ to better make his point.

    She playfully punched him lightly in the arm. “Ooooh, look at the handsome man with the handsome ego! You remind me of the old western duelers from Earth history.”

    Mehar renewed his laughter in healthy bursts. “Oh do tell! Can you imagine Julias and me on the dusty road outside the Alright Corral, dueling with nanoprograms instead of pistols? The sight alone of two old nano men in leather chaps would be worth the price of admission!” He formed his slender hands into mock pistol shapes as children once did and a small crackle of energy lingered at his fingertip.

    She winked, “Well Mister Know-it-all, I’ll have you know that it was called the ‘O.K. Corral’, not the ‘Alright Corral’.”

    Mehar exhaled through his nose and shook his head, breaking eye contact. “Trivialities.”

    He opened his mouth to add something else that was weighing on his mind, but Sarah cut him off before he could finish. “You worry yourself too much about my research, dear. And oh yes, don’t deny what you were about to say.”

    He frowned. “How is it that lately you’re able to know what I’m about to say—“

    “—Before you say it?” She finished his sentence with that dark smile again. Mehar no longer found humor in that smile, but likened it to the toothy grin of a predator. “Call it my Anticipation of Retaliation.” She must have noticed he was no longer smiling, must have seen the look of dread fall across his pale gray face, but she pretended not to and kept on smiling.

    “Dear, if you keep worrying like this, you’re going to end up like poor Julias in some Omni-Med facility with blood soaked doctors holding sharp instruments above your head.”

    “Oh come now, Sarah. Even the Atrox are intelligent enough to use nanotechnology instead of manual surgery.”

    “You’re missing my point.”

    “No, I’m avoiding it.”

    “I’m going to be late for work.” Sarah rose from the bed, her back to him.

    His cheeks flushed with anger at her dismissal. “How can you be late when you never stop working?”

    As soon as the words slipped from his mouth, he cursed himself for letting his emotions get the best of him. He cringed. They sounded jealous and petty, especially when considering his own working habits and the thirty-seven hour ego marathon he had just partaken upon to dismantle Enfraam’s fortification code.

    She stopped and turned to face him. The look she gave him was not one of anger or fury. It was the same face she had worn for the past few weeks, which she so transparently tried to hide with pleasantry and plastic smiles. Indifference. An indifference so cold that Mehar turned his face in shame. Until now, he was unable to put his finger on it, but upon testing the word in his mind, it felt right. Sarah had become an emotional void as of late and he intended to find out why.

    He caught his thoughts just in time to see her lithe body, wrapped in a sheet, disappear into the lavatory in a wisp of shoulder-length blond hair and a train of cream-colored silk.

    His own internal NCU informed him that he too would be late for his lecture on the reverse-engineering of Julias Enfraam’s fortification program, playfully named ‘Izgimmer’s Mockey’, if he did not get ready soon. He briefly considered joining Sarah in the shower as they had usually done, but thought it best to give her time to herself to let cooler heads prevail on their own. And besides, they would get to talking and either renew their argument or resolve it, the latter of which would surely make the both of them late. Smiling and spent, but late.

    Anticipation of Retaliation. Somehow Mehar did not believe that expression was made on the fly. It had something to do with the work she was conducting each day in the small building labeled “Metaphysics”. Odd how he never felt the urge to inquire more about what went on behind those closed doors. The subject of theoretical research had always intrigued him and he should have been fascinated and curious beyond measure. But something about that building drew people away, as if swept by an unseen hand. The other scientists and scholars seemed to give the building a wide berth upon walking past it, going so far as to cross the street in its presence, although he had never questioned why

    Perhaps he should have been more inquisitive about the work being performed and why he felt out of ease whenever he discussed or thought about it, but he felt that Sarah’s research should remain unmolested, without him commandeering her place. As project director of Jobe’s Metaphysics program, Sarah needed to maintain a sense of authority, and Izgimmer’s presence would undermine the fragile respect that she had built among her colleagues.

    Such a remarkable woman, he thought to himself. After being looked down upon first for being a solitus among the nanomage elite and then for living out of wedlock with one of the most revered nanoprogrammers in history, she was finally gaining the respect and recognition that someone as brilliant as her deserved. He would sooner be outdone by Enfraam than allow himself to disrupt her work or reputation. But surely, if he had the desire to find out more, he was well respected enough in the community to gain entrance or---

    “---no” he spoke softly to himself. “Sarah’s work is Sarah’s work, not my issue to meddle in.” The words came out feeling manufactured and rehearsed and he thought of Sarah tapping her finger to her forehead. Anticipation of Retaliation. Had she read his mind? Impossible.

    Julias Enfraam sat upright in the hospital bed, pounding angrily at the embedded holo-keyboard in the metaplast tray attached to his bed, occasionally gesturing madly to draw figures and charts on the accompanied holographic display.

    “Mister Enfraam, I must strongly advise against exerting yourself like this.” It was that butcher of a nurse again. What was her name? Julie? Jane? He supposed he really did not care about her name, nor for the nurse herself and her incessant pesterings.

    “Busy.” He waved a hand to dismiss her and when she did not leave, he waved away the holographic display and glared at her, annoyed.

    “You’ve just suffered a major stroke and might I remind you that while your insurance scan is up to date for the next week, neurological failures suffered under stress can lead to an incomplete transfer of the lifeforce and permanent death.”

    He crossed his arms and said in a mocking voice “why thank you for your concern and your advice. I suppose that information could not have been obtained through any of 17 billion grid sites? Why please, educate me more as you change my bedpan. And while you’re at it, bring me a glass of white wine.”

    “Mister Enfraam, you know that we do not serve alcoholic beverages to recovering patients.” She tried to maintain the kindly tone, but Julias’ comments cut the lilt from her voice, leaving it sounding flat and dry.

    “Why of course I know that, you dolt! I merely wish for you to leave me be immediately. Is there not some impossible task that you can spend the remainder of your pathetic life performing? I have work to do. Real work.”

    The nurse pursed her lips and leaned in close until her lips were nearly touching Julias’ ear and whispered “In a perfect world, that stroke would have killed you. I’d sooner throw myself into a den of hungry Pit Lizards than contribute to your longevity. Just so we’re on the same page here. Oh, and I hear Izgimmer will be lecturing on his improved fortification program. Improved from….your formula, wasn’t it? I hear it will be broadcasted by Gridstream Productions later tonight. I’ll come back to remind you.”

    Before Julias could respond, the nurse turned on her heel and walked out of the room. Although her back was turned to him, he could imagine the witch’s evil grin. It was a shame too, Julias would have fancied her to be quite attractive in any other situation.

    With a flick of his fingertips, the holographic display returned and he resumed his notations.

    “Enfraam’s Toolkit” he said with a smile, testing the name out. “Yes, that will do nicely.”
    Nanomage: The OTHER other white meat

  3. #3
    “Sarah, please reconsider. Neither of us can be 100% sure of the effects of running the program without the inhibitor.”

    “Meijen, Nothing in the history of science has been accomplished without risk, including this. Leave the room please and allow me to concentrate.”

    Without another word, Sarah’s assistant did as told and sat down in the attached observation room, watching Sarah through a rectangular window. He noticed his forehead and back were covered in sweat and his hands were shaking. He attempted to steady them by taking long, deep breaths and exhaling slowly.

    This was not the first such experiment that Sarah and Meijen had performed together since finding the set of instruction discs located among the ruins in Perpetual Waste, however it would most certainly be their last.

    Sarah slowly paced the sterile white room, all too cognizant of Meijen’s eyes watching him from behind the tinted glass. All too aware of Izgimmer’s spying, all too aware of the glares her colleagues gave her.

    She repeatedly clenched and unclenched her fists

    The mistrust, the laughs, the condescending remarks at a Solitus woman in a nanomage man's position of power.

    The anger.

    The humiliating remarks, the lack of credibility given to her studies, her lifeblood, her work. And oh how she fought, how she tried, how she struggled.

    A fine red mist of nanobots coalesced around her. The fine blond hairs on her arms stood on end and she felt a heat course through her veins even as her skin raised in chilly goosepimples.

    Our emotions, like our thoughts, dreams and our very souls are made up of energy. Like all energy, it can be measured, contained and even harnessed into tangible form. Love, anger and hatred are our most purest energy. We will use those. The instruction discs of ours that you found, are only that. Instructions. The energy is within you. Close your eyes, Sarah. Close your eyes and focus. Focus on lifting that energy from your mind. Let it rise above you and the nanobots will do the rest.

    Somewhere in the room or a thousand miles away a table shook, knocking over a glass beaker and a databoard. Time and space warped as Sarah’s hands danced throughout the air, weaving together strands of nanobots.

    The hatred.

    Her mind was distant, her thoughts hazy, yet the voice came to her quite lucid. She was no longer Sarah Mocham, but a tiny speck of light among a universe of light. Not a singularity, but part of something bigger. At the center of it all, she saw-----

    Meijen wanted to run. Wanted to run from the room and out the doors of the Metaphysics building, never to return again. Even if he could make it through the laboratory without being cooked alive by whatever energies were emanating from Professor Mocham, he could never be clean again. Whatever came through the portal that Professor Mocham was now opening, was part of his own doing. Running home, pulling the covers over his head and pretending it was all a dream would not prevent the memory of this moment from haunting his sleep for the rest of his life, however short that would prove to be.

    His hands began to tremble again, yet this time it was the desk itself that was causing the trembling, and not his hands. He quickly snatched them up and felt electricity in the air. Both rooms were constructed of reinforced metaplast, yet he still felt it. Something big was about to happen. Whether it be good or bad, it was something the world would not soon forget. History was about to be made and he was at the epicenter of it all.

    The lights in the building shattered and went dim and the trembling simultaneously stopped. The lights were out, yet he could still see two pinpricks of red light coming from the laboratory room.

    “Professor Mocham? Sarah?” his voice shook, despite his repeated attempts to steady it. He slowly stood on legs made of rubber to get a better look at the red glow.

    All was silent.

    And then he heard the scream.

    Last edited by THEDEACON!; May 10th, 2003 at 00:29:23.
    Nanomage: The OTHER other white meat

  4. #4
    Good stuff Deac , which type of story do you enjoy writing more?

  5. #5
    Slick. I like it, and so does my pirate leet. Lookin forward to reading more!
    Retired ARK Xnemth

  6. #6
    Damn, Deac! Well done! What, if I may ask, are you *not* good at??
    Randome. Proud General of Link Dead, a mercenary organization. Available for assistance with blitzing, raiding, tower defense, etc. Send a tell to any of our members for more info.

  7. #7

  8. #8
    Very very very very very very very cool Thedeacon! Didn't really think I'd read (or even see) a non-funny story from you, but I was totally wrong on both counts. Keep it coming please!
    Reverend Revelator Ramagano, Proud Something of Alpha Omega

    Alpha Omega: Fighting For Your Future, Today

    No, I'm not back.

    How embarrassing, after all these years it turns out I CAN'T spell **ncom with an F and a U, talk about egg on my face eh?

  9. #9
    Wao, Deaky proves that he masters more than the ROFLMAO-approach of writing stories, I love it!
    ~Have you hugged your leet today?~

    F̶u̶n̶c̶o̶m̶ ̶l̶i̶s̶t̶e̶n̶s̶ ̶:̶)̶
    Thanks for "fixing" DM, Funcom, yeah, no really... thank you so, so much. I was missing having my toolset put back to 2007.

  10. #10
    Utterly 100% amazed by this story... please give us more !!!!

    The storms show her pain... electric coated tears that reflect her sorrow... lava boils from the heat of her

    rage... we are one and the same.... She is my Rubi-Ka and I am her nanomage ....

  11. #11
    Just one word:

    Jen Markarian - Put the weirdness back in Omni-Mining
    Updating my stories -- 19/03/08. Going slowly, but certainly
    Anarchy Reloaded - AO webcomics for the sake of being silly

    I never want to lose what I have finally found
    There's a requiem
    A new congregation
    And it's telling me: go forward and walk
    Under a brighter sky
    -- Delerium, Euphoria --

  12. #12
    Thank you sir, may I have another?

  13. #13


    Wow, Deac...I'm truly impressed! Rising from the ROFL! TEH FOOTNESS humor stuff to this incredibly well-written story about a serious matter, bringing to life the background of programs used every day on Rubi-Ka. Makes you think a little.

    Very very good story...please tell us more!

  14. #14

    Thumbs up

    Let me bump this on up and try and push down all that Storm complaining babbling garbage by saying:

    Really good stuff! Looking forwad to more.
    *la la land*
    FIRST ORDER 4 evah!

  15. #15
    bumpzors 4 teh footness!
    nice one =) keep em coming.

  16. #16

    Fantastic story Deac
    Bliqz: "anything Uwen says is a vicious and ugly lie"

  17. #17
    Wonderful! Keep it up!
    Qaetus the Chain Insurance Claim Caster
    ‘I asked God for strength that I might achieve; I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey.
    I asked for help that I might do greater things; I was given infirmity that I might do better things.
    I asked for riches that I might be happy; I was given poverty that I might be wise.
    I asked for all things that I might enjoy life; I was given life that I might enjoy all things.
    I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I had hoped for. Despite myself, my prayers were answered. I am among all men most richly blessed.’

  18. #18

  19. #19
    Nice one

    Still way behind in pages, keep writing
    "It's your life. Keep it up! Keep it real!"

  20. #20
    Great stuff, Deac!

    -= Legion =-

    /stuck is your new best friend!!!

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