The Department-Headess Bride

[___________ebullient]

An opifex child lay in his bed rezzing. ((I know children might not be high enough level (not to mention age) to have to rezz -- shut up. All other loopholes will be defended with 'SU' -- Shut Up. No offense is intended.)) He was playing a game on his holovisor when his mom walked into the room.

"Hi honey."

"Hi mom."

"You feeling any better?"

The child brought up his skills hud. "A little bit."

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"Your grandfather's here, " his mom said, opening a window.

"Mom, can't you tell him I'm rezzing?"

"You're rezzing, that's why he's here."

"He'll pinch my cheek. I hate that."

"Maybe he won't," his mom said in that voice parents take when they're attempting to convince their children of the impossible.

"Heeey! /italian," said his grandfather, throwing open the door. "How's the sick? /pinch." The kid looked at his mom meaningfully. She smiled wanly, sighing.

"I think I'll leave you two guys alone."

"I brought you a special present." The kid's grandfather dropped a blister pack on his bed.

"What is it?"

"Open it up. Your skill should be high enough."

The kid r'ed it into his inventory and opened it up. He gained 152 xp and a book.

"A book?"

"That's right. When I was your age, holovid was called books. And this is a special book. It took my father 10 runs through To3W to get all the sections. He used to read to me when I was rezzing and I used to read it to your father. And today I'm gonna read it to you."

"Got any missions in it?"

"Are you kidding?! Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, Atroxes, mobs, chases, grid phreaks, true love, really really high ql nanos...."

"Doesn't sound too bad, I'll try and stay logged."

"Oooh, thank you very much, very nice of ya. Your vote of confidence is overwhelming." His grandfather opened the book and put his Keelar reading glasses on.

'Alright. The Department-Headess Bride, by "S" Morgenstern. Section 1. "Buttercup" was raised on a small farm in Galway County. Her favorite past-times were driving her Kodiak and tormenting the lowbie adventurer that worked there. His name was "Wesley" but she never called him that. Isn't that a wonderful beginning?'

"Ya, it's really good ," said the child.

[MissMaul]

((Lol, fun! ))

[___________ebullient]

('Nothing gave "Buttercup" as much pleasure as ordering "Wesley" around....')

A Kodiak zoomed across a field, coming to an abrupt halt in a stable in Galway County. "Buttercup" stepped out and accosted "Wesley" who was working quietly.

"Adventurer, polish my Kodiak's windshield. I want to see my face shining in it by morning," she haughtily commanded.

"As you wish," genty replied "Wesley". With an arrogant flick of her hair, "Buttercup" tromped to the house.

('As you wish was all he ever said to her.')

Some days later, the adventurer was chopping wood. ((I suppose sometimes you still want a good fire....)) "Buttercup" approached him, carrying a couple of QL2 buckets.

"Adventurer, fill these with water," she said, more gently than yesterday. "Wesley" straightened and gazed at her for a moment. "Buttercup", gazing back added, "...please?"

"As you wish," "Wesley" replied, as gently as before. "Buttercup" walked away slowly, her mind racing. She looked back at "Wesley".

('That day she was amazed to discover that when he was saying, "As you wish," what he meant was, "I love you." And even more amazing was the day she realized that she truly loved him back.')

Again, some days later. "Buttercup" was in the main house practicing a buff when "Wesley" came in, carrying firewood. She watched him for a moment as he dropped his load and started to head back outside.

"Adventurer," she said, anxious to make him stay. "Wesley" stopped and looked at her. She looked around quickly. "Fetch me that pitcher?" she said, eyes finally alighting on a thermos she bought at Reets some time ago, hanging from the ceiling a leet hop from her head. "Wesley" slowly approached her, holding her gaze intently as he reached without looking (his sense had been buffed just that morning) for the the thermos, took it down, and gave it to her.

"As you wish," he whispered, his voice as silky as the finest apparel at Miir's. "Buttercup" smiled enticingly at him. That evening, in front of a blazing suns-set, they held each other, gazing longingly into each other's eyes, gently and slowly leaning towards each other, trembling lips anticipating their first caress. As their lips met for the first time --.

('Hold it, hold it,' complained the child. His grandfather looked up from the book.)

"What is this, are you trying to trick me?!" the child said. His grandfather looked at him. "Where's the missions?! ...Is this a kissing book?"

"Wait, just wait," said his grandfather, emoting a hand motion that was meant to be encouraging.

"Well when's it get good?!" said the kid.

"Keep your shirt equipped, let me read," the grandfather replied.

('"Wesley" had no money for marriage, so he packed his few belongings and left the farm to seek his fortune across the river. It was a very emotional time for "Buttercup".')

"Wesley" and "Buttercup" stood near the main house as "Wesley" prepared to leave. They looked longingly at each other and fell into a bittersweet embrace....

('I don't believe this ,' said the child.)

"I fear I'll never see you again," said "Buttercup", her voice trembling.

"Of course you will," whispered "Wesley".

"But what if something happens to you?" she asked. "Wesley" pulled away and looked her in the eyes.

"Here this now. I will always come for you," he said.

"But how can you be sure?" she asked, tears in her eyes. "Wesley" lovingly caressed her face.

"This is true love," he said, "...think this happens every day?" He smiled warmly. She tried to smile back, shaking her head and biting back tears. They kissed and embraced a final time.

('"Wesley" didn't reach his destination. His shuttle was attacked by the dread clanner "Roberts", who had a method of permanently killing his victims and never left captives alive. When "Buttercup" got the news that "Wesley" was perma-dead --'

'Perma-death by clanners is good --'

'-- she went into her room and shut the door. For days she niether logged nor ate.')

"I will never love again," said "Buttercup" staring into the fire.