[ALL] OTPC: Ivan Sergeyich Defects!

OTPC: Ivan Sergeyich Defects!
April 01, 29484 - [Global]

OTPC - Ivan Sergeyich, former director of Omni-Pol has left the Omni-tek Corporation.


This news comes to us today on top of the announcement that Omni-tek has canceled its trade agreements with Domovoi Prime (Sergeyich's home planet) resulting in the cessation of the import of vodka to Rubi-ka.

Reports have it that Sergeyich met up with famed Vanguard Clan leader Alan Jacobi to discuss terms, it is suspected that Sergeyich agreed to join the Clans and give highly classified corporate information in return for the Vanguards setting up their own trade agreement with Domovoi Prime to import not only vodka but many other native products to Rubi-ka.

It is not expected that Omni-Tek will allow Sergeyich to remain free after this defect, but the question is how are they going to arrest him now they do not have an Omni-Pol Director?

Will they promote a new one or send in the armed forces?

Oh no! What are we going to do?

I hear they were in talks with Newland's very own Brb to replace him, after being impressed by his CV, stating qualifications such as "I'm ubah" and a desire for the competitive wages Omni-Tek offers, expressed as "Credz plz".

Well, since we have to find out what kind of information he might have given out I guess we have to inerigate all officers of Omni-Pol. So officers:
Make a line outside my apartment, while I get cream and handcuffs

*spits up his morning coffee and tries vainly not to fall out of his chair due to the ensuing laughter*

Are we awake yet, people?

We may get some useful information out of Ivan, but continued supporting of his drinking habit may put a strain on Clan coffers.

URAGON FOR DIRECTOR, URAGON FOR DIRECTOR, URAGON FOR DIRECTOR !!!! Oh, wait, it's April 1st. Bleh!

The author of this, even if it is in jest, should have an arrest warrant put out on them for treason. How dare any loyal Omni citizen defame our Directors name?

And I'll be resigning as the Newland Foreign Affairs minister as I'm joining the clans to take Sentinels from Silverstone. And he'll be taking over my position in Newland, and becoming neutral.

I have a bridge in the south of 4 Holes, I'd like to sell. It has quite a few pieces of junk and quite a bit of dried blood left on it. but i'm offering it at a discount. Good fixer-upper!

Any takers?

*loud laughter* good one that is

Hah! ...Ol baldy'sss gotten sssome sssenssse knocked into him!

Heh heh heh...*soft hiss-chuckle* ...and ya know what? I jussst got worrrd frrrom my doctorrr that ssshe'd actually worrrked up a currre forrr me!

*snort* ....when brrrontosss fly, I guesss.

That's ... Wow just wow

What a nice choice of date for a defection, right on April's Fool... Hmmm...

Ah thats just great!
A joke, how amusing
Now what am I supposed to do with all this cream

Feed it to brb?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Uragon

Feed it to brb?

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Leets have through empirical trials been found to have great trouble digesting both cream and handcuffs.
Cream actually makes them bloat up to about twice the size.
What rollerrats do to these "fat-boy" leets, well... you have all seen the pictures.