"But, sir! This assignment is totally beneath me and Tir smells bad!" Nevver complained to her Supervisor.
"I don't want to hear about it. Ever since the incident when you threw the Weird-Looking Bomb into the sewers in the Entertainment District because you 'thought you saw something,' my orders have been to keep you on simple assignments. Do you have any idea what that explosion did to the plumbing in Mr. Zora's apartment? Suffice to say, he's been a bit shaky ever since that episode."
"Pffft! What's an explosion or two to such a high ranking officer? If it were me, I would have just sent a fleet of bombers over Tir and..."
"And THAT is EXACTLY the type of attitude that has you in particular situation, McCallagher!" snapped the Supervisor before Nevver could finish. "Just go... just go and do this assignment and try not to break anything. You wonder why we can't have nice things? It's because you break everything!"
Nevver sighed, accepted the papers detailing her instructions, saluted and spun around to leave causing her axe to whack into a table lamp, sending it crashing across the room.
"Oops! Sorry, sir! I'll just.."
"Leave it and go! For the love of... GO!"
Nevver quickly left the office and exited the building to the street outside.
Once a high-ranking elite warrior and now resigned to missions where she "couldn't break anything," Nevver was frustrated. Oh, but there would be redemption! Yes there would! She would show those paper-pushers just how effective she could be! She would play by their rules and not hold public executions anymore (or at least for a while until things cooled off) and would do her best not to blow up anything for the time being.
This assignment made her nervous though. It had been a long time since she had faced off against this criminal and the last time had not been a pretty sight. That Chirop was one crafty bird and had nearly pecked her eyes out but she brought him in as ordered even though it had left her quite shaken. After all her hard work and egg breaking, Omni-Reform had released the wily Chirop due to "lack of evidence." Evidence? Who needs evidence!? It still made her blood boil the way those bureaucrats just let him go on a technicality! And so it was that Nevver went about the business of hunting down again her arch nemesis - the Chirop known as Thomas Gunderson.
Nevver read the mission instructions - "Thomas Gunderson... blah, blah, blah... last seen in an apartment in Tir... blah, blah, blah... sneak in and observe the subject..." Ha! Nevver would observe as instructed, but there was nothing in the assignment that stated what she could or couldn't do after that. "At least the bureaucrats are good for one thing," she thought, "Loop holes."
Tir was repulsive. It looked like a flea market that sold actual fleas, unlike the sleek, clean, metallic majesty of Rome Blue that Nevver called home. She gingerly made her way on foot through the city, trying unsuccessfully to not step on the ground and dirty her boots and finally made it to the location where Thomas Gunderson was supposed to be holed up.
It was a cheap lock on the door to the apartment. Cheap like everything else in the disgusting shanty town where the Clanners lived. Cheap like the Yalm fuel swill the Clanners drank in their dank night clubs. Cheap like tawdry clothing they wore that was so un-Miir. Cheap like that Clanner who once tried to pick her up with an offer to go to dinner at a Mongol Meat stand and who, ultimately, found himself rolling around on the ground with his hands grasping at his groin in pain while gasping something about tall women in black armor turning him on. Cheap like...
Nevver realized that she was ranting again - this time to herself... again. She cleared her head from the hate and disgust and concentrated on the lock. She wasn't the greatest at picking locks, but she was skilled enough to pick this one and easily opened the door on her first try.
Quickly, she ducked inside of the door and closed it quietly behind her. She could hear a faint flapping and "awk-awking" coming from several rooms away. Up the hallway she crept, sticking to the shadows until she reached the room where the sounds were coming from. At that vantage point, she could see the beak of Thomas Gunderson twitching as he hovered in the air.
She watched the beak for a moment or two then said to herself, "I'd call that observing" and rushed into the room with her axe brandished. "Thomas Gunderson! You are under arrest!" she screeched at the imposing bird. "You can come along peacefully or we can do it the way I like it!"
"AWK! Nevver the Egg Stomper! Your eyes will be on the end of my beak! AAAAAAWWWWKKK!!!" cried Gunderson!
"EEEEEEEEYYYYAAAAHHHOOOOWEEEEERRRRR" screamed Nevver as she charged the Chirop!
It was a bloody fight ending with Nevver tying up the Chirop's feet and wings then stomping on the egg that it previously held in it's talons. She stuffed Thomas in her backpack and headed for the outside to exit home.
In the street where she again tried not to walk on the ground, she set the backpack down and returned inside to set down a few of her favorite devices - Weird-Looking Bombs. She set the timers for ten minutes and ran back outside to collect the Chirop, scooped up the pack and scampered down the filthy streets, cringing at every step where her boots touched the ground.
Once safely outside of the city gates, she waited for the explosion. And a glorious explosion it was! It was so satisfying to hear a loud "kaboom" after spending the last few weeks having to be content with dropping light bulbs on the ground just to hear them pop. With a smile, she jumped into her Yalmaha and flew back to Omni-HQ with her prisoner to turn him in.
"Sir, I've returned with the prisoner!" she proudly reported to the Supervisor. "I'm afraid there were some problems and I needed to blow up one of the city blocks. You understand how it is."
"McCallagher..." the Supervisor started, "Your assignment was to observe the subject, not arrest him or blow up anything LET ALONE AN ENTIRE CITY BLOCK! GUARDS!"
Three Unicorn Guards entered the room as if out of nowhere, placed hand cuffs, ankle cuffs and a neck cuff on some of Nevver's favorite body parts, then unceremoniously escorted her from the Supervisor's office down to Omni Reform.
...
"Janella 'Nevver' McCallagher" read the warden. "You have been charged with disobeying orders, unauthorized use of explosions, insubordination, public disorderly conduct and 725 unpaid parking tickets. You are to spend your time in a prison cell here at Omni Reform where you will undergo treatment to help you become a better employee until you are judged to be so."
And with that, Nevver moved into her new home.
* * * *
OOC:
This was a really difficult piece for me to write because it makes me sad knowing that something that has been so fun for so long is now over (or at least on an extended hiatus). I've been playing AO as Nevver forever but I've just become tired of the game and, as I've discovered, the mmorpg genre in general so I finally canceled my account a few weeks ago after hardly playing at all for the past 9 or 10 months(?).
I have so many great memories here! It was so much fun! I had never roleplayed in a game before coming to AO and sort of just stumbled into it. I was in Baboon's one time just looking around the place and messing around with emotes when out of nowhere popped the character of Dave "Diamondcut" Duster and, literally, I was surprised because I thought I was alone in there. Needless to say, I felt like a dork making my character do emotes there all by herself. But, he just started in some IC conversation so I just went along with it. I hung around for a while and others came and went who seemed actually dangerous the way they "spoke" and it was FUN!
From there, I was introduced to many other crazy characters who haunted Baboon's and Rompa Bar including Lehx, JoeyT, Nayl, Doompie, Thyme, Tarryk (remember the Pajama Party Massacre?) Garrison and of course, my partner in crime, Ditzie.
I joined an org around then - one of the "entertainment orgs" where I was a waitress at Rompa Bar. It was cool because I got to chat with others and people actually gave me credits for going to the bartender and bringing them drinks! That was no small deal for me because I largely stink at these games and am almost always broke.
It was around that time that I met Thyme who was a lot of fun to be around. She was such a smartass and really quick. Ditzie and I weren't satisfied in the org we were in and Thyme had just formed a new one called "Devil's Advocate" with a few other people including Valaik. Ditzie and I decided that it looked like a fun group so we joined.
Devil's Advocate was formed under the premise of being a bunch of smugglers who dealt in stolen goods. At the time, this was a very unique idea as nobody else seemed to be doing it. We had a lot of fun busting the chops of Omni-Pol and Thyme was especially fond of going after a greenie named "Garrison" who was a hardcore Omni that hung around Rompa and Baboon's. Garrison was great because he never took any of Thyme's crap and I suspect that's what she liked best about him.
Players come and players go and, eventually, Thyme moved on which left the rest of us to forge ahead. The whole smuggler thing was starting to be done to death and it was to the point where the only RP org that seemed to be actually anti-Clan was Omni-Pol. It was around that time that I met an Omni-Pol agent named Templus who totally inspired me to try a different angle. At this time, most of the Omni RP orgs that I knew of were all like, "Yes, we're Omni, but we love the Clans!" Not Templus. Templus was not only a hardcore Omni - she was FUNNY. I mean, whenever I ran across Templus ingame or read her messages on the message boards, I would be cracking up because the character was just so over the top that it was crazy. That's when I decided that being Evil looked a lot more fun than being like everyone else. And so it was that I took the cue from Templus and changed my character's attitude.
It was a little difficult for me as I was in this org that I loved but it was an org that did business with the Clans. So, it worked out that I was the crazy hardcore Omni along with Ditzie and a few others and the rest sort of conducted business "behind our backs" which we'd work out so that it didn't seem too weird. Ditzie took to role really well and came up with her own brand of craziness and mayhem and would make me laugh so the two of us were a really fun team together - even in missions or just wandering around the wilderness, it was always fun.
Throughout my roleplaying experiences, I always tried to make it funny; it didn't always work out that way either because it was just a more serious scenario or what I came up with just wasn't always funny, but I tried. I often think that my character came off better on the message boards because I had more time to think about what I was going to write whereas, ingame, it was almost always improvised right on the spot (my preferred method has always been a loose scenario). I have to admit, sometimes I was sort of shocked at some of the things I would write; my sense of humor tends to be pretty twisted to begin with but there were times when I would be like, "Did *I* write THAT!? Yikes!"
One thing I learned early on is that you can't always be the "winner" in a confrontation; in order for there to be a "winner," there has to be a "loser." To that end, I often liked to set up my character with some holes in what she was saying so that someone could use those holes to shoot her down. Besides Templus, one of my other main inspirations was - and don't laugh! - Daffy Duck. I'd think, "What would Daffy Duck say here?" or "What would happen to Daffy Duck?" Because you know no matter how sinister he was or how evilly he plotted, he was always getting his beak shot off or something and that's what made him funny. Well, that and he's such a spaz.
I know I drove some of you Clan players crazy, probably to the point of frustration sometimes but, I have to tell you, without you all, my character would have been just huffing and puffing with no house to blow down. I hope I didn't make anyone *too* angry and, if I did, I offer my most sincerest apologies. :)
Playing Evil is such a hoot and I highly encourage anyone who's never tried it to give it a whirl. There are always tons of players who want to be on the side of Good and be a hero which leaves so many opportunities for Evil. Besides, I think you can get away with more when you're on the side of evil. It's fun!
This is already much longer than I thought it would be and I hope you enjoyed the story above (although, admittedly, it's not one that I consider to be one of the better ones) and I'll leave you with some of my favorites from the past. My account expires on July 9th so, after that, I won't be able to post here anymore. If you want to find me, I haunt the VN Insider's board and I'll be checking in to the VN AO General Discussion board as I'm still interested in what goes on in AO.
Thank you to all of you who have made this game enjoyable for me and an especially big thank you and hug to all of the past and present members of Devil's Advocate!
Have fun! :)
Player of Nevver
Nevver's Greatest Hits
Attention Clanners: Your help is needed!
New business venture
Old Athen retaken single handed!
A Day in the Life
Tired of living under Omni-Tek's rules? Here is a solution!
Attention: Space Lice and Other Parasites
101 Ways To Kill a Drunk Fixer (actually Tarryk's thread, but I got in some good ones! :D)
