Dr Zander's dilemma

((wow its been 4 years since I have even been here id figure id give RP another go this is the ONLY game I have any interest with it on amazingly enough anyways without further ado the story))


Journal entries of Eine Zanders:

After awakening from my comatose state from four years I have found many changes both on Rubi-Ka and the shadowlands. my name is Eine Zanders I am a doctor, or rather a scientist for nano technology or rather I was I have lost my identity, my personality sometimes I think I have lost my soul. I find that only the assignments I find often keep me busy it keeps me from thinking too much about my fate.
I still remember entering the communication channels talking to the people on those channels keeps me lucid in my moments of sadness. Hearing kate's voice or her callsign "falikos" was refreshing it often reminds me of who I was before the accident.

I often wonder what life would have been like had I stayed neutral but again I have forgotten my reason for even joining the clans some would say I seek justice, or truth or some other bull **** reason. However all I want is my questions answered yet what kind of answers will I find when I can successfully put my life back together again?

The assignments those jobs I always take the way they are designed makes it sound cold and clinical almost like an operation but nothing is as clear cut as it seems. Apparently newland city is plagued with alien abductions the worst part though is nobody seems to really care or if they do its only for entertainment value. That is just one example of finding things I have never learned about happen on a day to day basis on this crazy world since I have woke up.

Some things are not always what they appear to be and yet the cold apathy of it drives me nuts sometimes. Just because we have advanced our technology to the point of cheating death doesn't mean we should take anything we see here for granted after all there has to be a point where everything comes full circle.

my adventures into the shadowlands often leave me with a sense of unease and nervousness yet the cavalier attitude some of the people in the communication channel have when I discover these truths just makes me curious and at the same time afraid. In any case I still explore and search the shadowlands because my questions remain unanswered. Maybe one day when I find my answers things will become much more clear until then I sign off on this journal entry till next time.

-callsign- Freezan

((phew anyways comments appreciated I have actually written a lot so I hope there isn't any mistakes if so then feedback would be appreciated only way to get better at this is to keep writing.))

(( Nicely done, Sir. Keep up the good work. ))

(( Hola, and welcome back! Nice story, can't wait for more! - or to bump into you IG ))

Journal entry 2

I can't believe what happened. My adventures on rubi-ka have lead me to a shocking and chilling discovery. Omni-tek was developing a nano virus to infect the clan population. after doing a little snooping and listening into some conversations with a few lab technician's it just mind boggles me the worst part is using it in mutants as a carrier. Sometimes I wonder just how far Omni-tek will actually go to remove us from this world it scares me sometimes that they would stoop so low as to use biological weapons to kill us.

my quest for answers to my questions has yielded me nothing at least nothing tangible so far from what I have been able to piece together I was a very smart person. I have several doctorates in nano science, biology and apparently xeno science. I remember bits and pieces of my past but it's such an awful struggle trying to grasp who I am. After leaving that lab back from my previous assignment I had a brief flashback of a computer lab and some symbols that left me in a state of confusion and shock.

I remembered owning a lab and the symbols that I saw were of an equation for a nano program. I don't know what those symbol's may mean but perhaps it was one of the equations which lead to the nanoprogram I was tinkering with before it blew up in my face. I now have a clue to what I was designing but its going to lead me to more questions before I can get any answers.

My days of self discovery have also gained me some potential friends other then kate I met ken or "nulion" a rather fascinating individual and a great friend for sure. I was rather shocked about what happened to him I gave him some theories of what may have happened and perhaps that treatment or a cure could be found in the shadowlands. Unfortunately he is no longer concerned about a cure which concerns me but I can't stop him from not looking.

My other concerns with him I shall not write of in this journal lest somebody finds out but needless to say a lot of the theories I had on his condition and what people could do to make it worse chilled not only me but may have worried him. I have sworn to protect him as a friend because that is all I can do for him. My other potential friends like I said are kate or "falikos" she is quite unique and completely understanding of my situation at the very most people would strongly suggest I see a doctor about my problems but I don't need one I haven't needed one so far.

I have come to realize there are still good people here on rubi-ka I have yet to see any bad or questionable people yet but I know they are out there and truthfully I hope never to tangle with somebody that is fanatical in their beliefs to the point of no reasoning. However sadly enough it seems some people in my faction are that way such is the way of life here in rubi-ka I guess.

until next time I am signing off

-callsign- Freezan

Journal Entry 3


I am starting to remember that equation again. Nano-science is always evolving and ever changing we always learn new things, new wonders every day but we also learn of new horrors and nightmares. I may have stumbled onto a nightmare because after awakening my NCU systems detected absolutely zero traces of notum or nano fragments within my system which shocked me. It is often common knowledge that a nanomage race cannot survive without the nanites the fact that I had none in my system prior to waking up was very shocking to me I should have been dead yet I am still alive.

Lately I have begun noticing some other after effects from the lack of nano machines flowing through me I have become more and more indifferent to death or rather the fact of dying this insensitivity scares me because not having that fear makes me a dangerous foe on the battlefield but to care so little for the value of a person's life is what scares me more then anything else especially because I would like to think I still care about people that matter to me most.

its interesting how much action there is here in rubi-ka yet in the shadowlands there is more troubles there that make what happen here seem tame and yet I still wish to do what I set out to do and that is make a difference all of the events I have seen so far make me wonder what is our faction doing to change anything significant? These type of questions plague me daily its why I have talked with ken. Sometimes when I fight my causes I can often remember some bits and pieces of my past.

I remembered being very passionate about my field of science with a full blown laboratory and of course my little pet leet cincinatti they were fond times. Often I remember bits and pieces of what I have done and sometimes its painful other times they are good. I remembered a woman in some of them I must have truly cared for her but I have no clue what happened to her I struggle daily to find out who she must have been.

Sometimes my nightmare's wake me up and other times I wake up in tears because I sometimes remember losing something important I just can't think of what. There is one dream that drives me nearly insane with questions and its that confounded equation every time I sleep its usually the last thing that appears before or even after I wake up.

I have yet to ask around about this equation because I am unsure and thinking unwise to expose something potentially dangerous to other's but until then I will keep on looking and searching all I have are my questions hopefully the answers I find at the end of my path lead to something tangible or understandable. until then I am signing off my journal

-callsign- Freezan


((longest section yet hope to keep up the updates but till then signing off I still gotta get my writing flowing hope it gets better again post comments and feedback is very much appreciated. see ya all ingame.))

(ooc: good read. keep on!)

((this was going to be my journal entry 5th one but I realized the 4th has A LOT more stuff. I am going to withold right now because there are still some things I need to add. while there are some things in this one that may be hard to keep track of. all I can say is be patient I will release the 5th journal entry in two weeks time or perhaps next week so enjoy and sorry about lack of updates again feedbacks/comments are appreciated.))




It has been several months since I have written down everything pertaining to my past and research of the Xan within these data pad's. I have discovered many things both wonders and also horrors. I have attempted to regain some bits and pieces of my memories but nothing quite concrete or solid enough other then audrin and my friend's death.

There are still large chunks of memory missing and it frustrates me quite often. I am also still decrypting the data files Shadowpsych has given me and it is extremely slow going it may be months to years before I fully decrypt what I have learned about myself. My primary reason for researching the Xan and creating a historical document is to keep me sane in this world and to remind me of what matters most and that is hope. I also need to remember that sometimes we must not repeat the mistakes of a past that is eerily similar to our own.


All seems right and proper now and yet I have a feeling something horrible is going to happen soon. Last time I had such feelings was my brief flashbacks of what happened to audrin and my friend's death as well as the violence I had inflicted against my attackers. This will be my last journal entry for a good long while. My feelings have never steered me wrong I plan on hiding my information and research until I feel its safer then normal but on rubi-ka nowhere is really safe. I have started establishing my identity further using the insurance technology in old athen city and finding an apartment there I have started to build up whats left of my life that was torn apart.

My past from what shadowpsych told me was spent mostly in the shadowlands however as I said before I have no knowledge of what happened there and everything pertaining to my exile there is in my data files I have been decrypting. Right now I plan on preparing my self for the eventual storm that may arrive and load up on my combat science as well as reconfiguring my cyberdeck. My adventures here in rubi-ka has just begun and with it as well is my research and study of our history as well as the Xan's.

when all seems lost in our darkest hour only our hopes and dreams can pulls us through a seemingly impossible situation.

signing off

Eine Zanders -callsign- Freezan

((again sorry about it being short but the meat of my next journal entry is gonna be huge still gotta go through it and make sure everything is right till next time.))

(( was good meeting you today! I look forward to more interaction between characters :) ))