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Terrifying Leet Evolutionary Process Dooms Humanity!
In an announcement with grave implications for the primacy of the species of man, an intrepid citizen reported Tuesday that leets, or family Leetasurmominae, have evolved gills on their neck/shoulder/head area.
“I believe I speak for the entire human race when I say, ‘We’re screwed,’” said adorably named local hobo “Hobocles”, noting that the leet has a lung capacity 40 percent greater than that of humans. “That’s it for us monkeys. We sat at the top of the mammal tree for a long time, but it’s all over now.”
Hobocles strongly urged humans, especially those living near the water, to learn to communicate using a system of obscenities and childish humor. He also encouraged humans to “start practicing their rolling around in joyous circles as soon as possible.”
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- Staff Reporter